Author: Jeffrey Bush

Keys to Positive Thinking

By Napoleon Hill

Thought is a guide to action

Negative thinking fills people with fear and doubt

We become what we think about most of the time

By changing the inner attitudes of your mind, you could change the outer aspects of your life

PMA – Positive mental attitude

You are a mind with a body, not the other way around. So if your mind controls things you must get your mind in the right spots

Your attitude is your feeling about yourself and that around you

PMA will help you in moments of storms in your life. People that cannot handle the storms of life become sick, miserable and discouraged.

If you can’t control your phone motion, you can control your destiny

Take control of your own mind with conviction

We become what we think of the majority of the time

Millions of brain cells, and all of them are under your control

When something happens, learn to accept it and fix the situation.

You cannot change the past or the future.

Dwelling on negative thoughts of situations and of others will only make things worse.

Let your discouragements and disappointments inspire you to do something better.

Every adversity carries within it a seed of possibility

Yesterday is gone forever, today is already a reality, but tomorrow is a brand-new possibility

PMA does not ignore situations rather makes you focus on the good results that come out of these bad choices.

You have to acknowledge that there’s a problem, but the key is to find the solution.

PMA forces you to focus on finding solutions. When you make it a habit of finding a solution, it will help improve you.

Losers envision the consequences of failures and winners and visualize the rewards for success

Ps 139:14

Do not just try to throw out negative responses but replace it with positive reminders.

If you wallow around in the mud of negative thinking, it will become very obvious to others.

If you have to worry, worry positively.

Try to accept people as they are instead of wishing they were more like you would want them to be.

Look for the good in others and learn to like people.

Live the golden rule

Proverbs 10:12

If you are happy, you can make other people happy.

Remember that you will translate into physical actions the thoughts that you are dwelling on.

Feed yourself positive solutions.

We become what we think about

Your conscious mind will begin to live what your subconscious mind feeds it

Suggestion is everything around you connects with your five senses throughout a day and will affect you. So make sure that you are around the right atmosphere, hearing the right things, being with the right people, etc.

Self-suggestion is what you feed yourself. Use mental pictures and thoughts to feed you on the right stuff. By building up the right thought patterns, you are feeding your self with nourishing material.

Autosuggestion is what you think about and what you feed yourself now becomes natural responses in life.

What are you going to do today to feed your senses positive nourishment?

Use your power to pray

It is up to you to decide what you want out of life. Once you know, set your mind to it and work for it.

Write your goals on a sheet of paper. Visualize yourself achieving those goals.

To accomplish your goals, you must DESIRE:

D – determine

E – evaluate

S – set (date)

I – identify (plan)

R – repeat (repeat your goal and plan)

E – each day

Those who try achieve success.

The difference between misery, frustration, success and happiness is having a positive attitude.

Your attitude is one of the few things that you have completely control over.

Learn to laugh this releases tension.

Learn to smile. You can help others with your attitude.

By responding with gentle words when there is a problem or something goes wrong, this shows strong mental control. You do not have to get mad, lose control or curse with anger and frustration. Keep a positive attitude.

Everyone experiences negative thoughts, but the successful person will counteract those negative thoughts.

If you get into action even when you have fear, this emotion will be neutralized.

When someone has something negative to say about another person, you should stop them and have them say five positive things about the person before he says the negative. That should also be put into practice with the negative thought you have.  Before dwelling on a negative thought, speak in your head five positive thoughts and then proceed with the negative afterwards.

If you make the effort to be happy yourself, the people around you will be happy as well.

You can change things from negative to positive with just your attitude.

If Only He Knew

by Gary Smalley

 

• Two reasons why many marriages fail:

• • Expectations – we think that marriage should look like a romance novel or that our spouse will always give us whatever we want, etc.

• • Difference – men and women are different. They have different goals, different emotions, different desires, etc. We don’t understand each other because we are different. Physically (on average, while men have 40% of their body made of muscle, women have 23%), sexually, relationally, emotionally, etc. Men and women are very different from each other.

• We all change over time, whether hair, physical, mental, political views or in other areas, so we must base our marriage on unchangeable qualities.

• Our ability to love is based on our maturity.

• Who’s the best person to teach you on how to love and comfort your wife? It’s not me as the author nor is it you, it is your wife. So ask her and learn from her.

• Give her your shoulder, not your mouth – criticism, sarcasm, fixing it, or commenting about it, will many times only lead into bigger problems.

• One of the wife’s greatest needs is tenderness, not lectures.

• Ask your wife how you can help her and what you can do to comfort her. Practice practice practice

• Listen to your wife with your 3rd ear – figure out what she is trying to say when she speaks or doesn’t speak. What is her emotional thought right now.

• When your wife is stressed: rest, massage to relax muscles, get out and exercise, etc.

• Sex is a barometer of marriage; if the bedroom is hot, you will have a good marriage.
• Sex is so much more than the physical aspect; it is mental, physical, emotional, and more. That’s why sex can become better after many years of marriage.
• If you as a husband you are unhappy, it is 100% your fault. You have unreal expectations for what you want out of your marriage or from your wife.

• You cannot change your wife going “head to head” with her, you must allow God to change her.

• Quit trying to work on your wife and work on yourself. You are the only person that you can change.

• Women need time to prepare before sex – emotionally and physically. A man is like a microwave and a woman is like a crockpot. If you hurt her feelings she may still be hurt when the man is already over it and wants sex.

• Women have a need for appreciation. When was the last time you praised your wife? Criticism will hurt your wife much deeper than you realize. Instead of saying she did not make a sandwich the way you like it, why not turn it around and thank her.

• A woman could not resist praise and appreciation.

• Criticism devastates a person — Proverbs 15:1-4.

• Everyone loves praise and appreciation. With appreciation, children become happier, students become smarter, athletes play harder, and your marriage will become better. Learn to appreciate and praise your wife.

• Just as you would never want to go on vacation with a boss or friend that always criticizes you, neither will your wife joy spending time with you or want to go somewhere with you if you always criticize and correct her.

• What kind of praise would you enjoy receiving from your boss at work? Well try that praise with your wife and it will encourage her just like it would and does you.

• Never bring attention to you’re wife about her negative flaws —weight, gray hair, etc. It does not help anything and only hurts her.

• If you learn to praise your wife genuinely, specifically and consistently, you will see the great change in your marriage.

• The key to listening is repeating back to your wife what you think she is saying – she will correct it if you’re misunderstanding and that way you could know her feelings.

• Most men believe that if they listen to their wife’s suggestions than they are not the leader in the house… but that is false.

• Learn to accept criticism and correction; it will make you a wiser person.

• A wife loves a husband who admits when he’s wrong.

• When you hurt your wife, she draws back mentally, physically and emotionally. But when you ask genuine forgiveness and are willing to learn, she will open back up.

• You can cherish your wife by protecting her. Protect her not only physically but emotionally as well. Find the things that make her afraid or that stress her out and take those things off of her plate

• A husband should understand his wife’s fears and limitations.

• Understand your wife’s goals and help her achieve them.

• Learn to pinpoint your wife’s needs, fears and limitations.

• Stress will take a very big toll on your marriage. Learn how to detect and remove stress from your wife. Also learn to ask your wife about what stresses her out. Take the stress out and have a better marriage.

• When there is a big decision that will affect all of the family, list the pros and cons for your marriage and family. For example, if you’re moving jobs or houses, etc., than show your wife how this new place will be better or harder on your family… you both need to be involved for the good of your marriage.

• We forget that a husband is commanded to submit to his wife (Ephesians 5:21) before the wife is commanded to submit (Ephesians 5:22).

• Family outings is one of the greatest ways to spend time together as a family.

• Belittling suggestions have never changed anyone… and are the cause of many divorces.

• The more you talk about wanting your wife to change, the less probability that she will change.

• Here’s how you can change your wife, and yourself as well:

• • Change your attitude. Admit that you need to change.

• • My happiness is my responsibility. I cannot change anyone but myself.

• • When you quit trying to change your wife and begin changing yourself, but she will change and your marriage will become better.
  • Share your feelings and said demanding how she should feel.

• • Wait if you are set.

• • Convey a loving attitude.

• • Empathy is seeing another persons point of view. Can you see that from her point of view? I don’t see you statements.
  • Avoid the adjectives for you, always, I told you so, never come etc.

• The lion can roar and growl but it takes a real man to say something tenderly and nicely.

• You do not have to solve the problem in just one conversation, learn to listen and understand.

• Never assume you have a good or perfect marriage; always be working at it.

• Never, never, never give up working on your marriage.

How to Re-spark & Keep Chemistry in your Relationship Forever

by Leil Lowndes

 

• If you’re going to stay together all of your life, you have to have commonalities, or your areas and what you agree that are similar in. Ask your spouse about what it means to be together in their opinion. Find the similarities and quit arguing about the differences.

• Learn to read your partner’s feelings.

• Girls emotions are more linguistic, tied to their tongue and they want to talk about it. A man’s is tied to his physical so he wants to fight or do something about it.

• Studies say that the spark or feeling of spouse’s touch goes away after 18 months to 2 years. So you have to keep the spark growing.

• Learn to touch even when you’re not having sex. Touch is very important.

• Hold hands. Little kisses. Hand on shoulder.

• When you first marry, excitement, passion and chemistry is all working in your favor, but as time goes by you have to work at it.

• You may think there’s no time, but when you were dating or before you got married, you made time for fun – you must do the same now.

• We will spend a lot more on divorce papers than you could ever spend on babysitters, dinners and dates.

• Think of all the fun things that you used to do and make a new bucket list to do now.

• Laughing is another way to say I love you. Laughing with each other expresses joy of being together. When laughing, your body tells your mind that you’re happy and your mate will believe that you are happy to be with him or her.

• Dopamine diminishes as time goes by but your creativity, laughing, touching and enjoying time together can make the dopamine rise.
• Sex works as a fire extinguisher for many problems in marriage.
• Say what your spouse needs to hear – you still love her, she is still beautiful, you need her, etc. Everyone has something they need to hear.

• The author did a search online of “tell me why he doesn’t love me?” and there were 110 million hits, women that were searching info about that. But there was nothing about a man asking why a woman doesn’t love him.

How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less

by Nicholas Boothman

 

• Some experts have said that 15% of your financial success comes from your skills and knowledge while 85% of your financial success comes from your ability to relate to people and engender trust and respect.

• The better you are at relating to people the better chance you will have in becoming a success.

• First impressions set the tone for success more than class, credentials, education or what you paid for lunch.

• We usually decide within the first two seconds of meeting someone how we will reply to him or her.

• When people like you, they think and see the best in you; when they do not like you they think and see the worse in you.

• It’s all in the imagination, capture a person’s imagination and you capture their heart.

• When you meet someone, look them in the eye and smile.

• • The easiest and quickest way to connect with someone is to look at them in the eye and smile – it shows that you are interested and honored to be with them.

• • Eye contact is extremely important when talking to someone. It answers the question if you’re interested in the person, if you like what they are saying, and if you are sincere. Eye contact radiates authority.

• • Smile is a way of saying that you’re putting your best foot forward and you’re confident.

• When you want them to feel like they have already known you, be like a Chameleon.

• • Mimic the person that you’re talking to – how they’re standing, how they look, etc. It says “we are like each other” and “we have things in common”. Show tension when they show tension and relax when they relax.

• • We like people that are like us. So smile with a smile, sit like they sit and act like they act if you are trying to connect with someone.

• • When you like someone you are saying you are like someone. Synchronize with them, become like them and you will connect with them.

• • Learn to adapt yourself to the person and situation.

• Capture the imagination and you have captured the heart.

• • You can talk with someone’s imagination to trigger hunger, need, want, etc. The imaginations is where the emotions are.

• • What do you think will get you further, aggravation or cooperation? To get what you want from others, they have to want to help you. They’re only six ways you can get people to do things for you: by law, by emotional force, by physical force, by money, by physical beauty or by persuasion. Persuasion is the most effective and is much better. Persuasion gets faster results, is cheaper, and better.

• • In order for persuasion to be possible, you need trust, logic and emotion. To be persuasive you must communicate all of that and do it quickly.

• • KFC – Know what you’re wanting, Find out what you’re getting and Change what you’re doing in order to get it.

• • Every time you speak to a stranger, that person decides whether to run, fight or stay.

• • You’ve heard people say, “I liked him from the first time I met him”. How can this be? When you like someone, everything changes. When you like someone there’s nothing they can do wrong and when you dislike someone there’s hardly nothing they can do right.

• • Nonverbal impact is very important. At first glance, does the person look interesting or dull? Talkative or silent? Friendly or reserved? Excited or a quitter? Adventurous or careful? All of us have signals through our body language that make others judge us, whether it is right or wrong.

• Before you meet someone, ask yourself what you want. Dress appropriately. Make sure there is nothing in your hands. Put on a smile. Look them straight in the eyes.

• When someone has our trust, we are willing to open up more and listen.

• Three useful attitudes that all successful leaders have in common: enthusiasm, curiosity and humility.

• • • Enthusiasm comes from the Greek word meaning God flowing through. People like those who are enthusiastic.

• • • Stay curious show me a person who is trying to learn more and grow and I will show you a person who is succeeding.

• • • Humility – most big leaders have a big ego even though they hide it well with a public front. But humility can be consciously chosen.

• Work your ABC – attitude, body language, confidence.

• • Attitude – people will or will not talk to you because of your attitude. We align ourselves with other people’s attitudes, we like them or dislike them because of it.

• • Body language – stand in front of the mirror and act as if you’re brave, say “you drive me crazy” and look at how your body languages. Do the same exercise acting angry, happy, humble, and calm. Your body language changes.

• There are two types of body language: open and closed. Open says you are open for business and closed says get away I’m not interested.

• • • • Open for business is good posture, standing for someone, leaning forward, relaxed.

• • • • Closed body language is the opposite, hands  crossed, fist clenched, etc.
      • When you synchronize your body language to that of another, openness happens. This is the fastest way to build trust with another person. Synchronize your tone and body language. It signifies “I’m with you”, “I’m on the same page”.

• • When the three V’s (visual, vocal and verbal), it means we are being congruent. When you are congruent, your relationships become better. Use your body and your language to show that you’re interested – lean forward, moving to the side, nod your head, and smile, just make sure to give feedback and respond.

• • Well given feedback proves to someone that you’re paying attention and that what they’re saying is important.
• Confidence – give your contact a cause and you will probably get what you want. For example, if you extend your right hand, the other person will extend their hand to shake it as well – it’s an automatic reaction. Give the person the cause and he/she will respond.

• Everyone uses their senses to communicate – some rely more on touch, some rely on seeing and others on hearing. If you will you use whatever the person you’re talking to relies on, you will get much further. Visual people will let you know they like visuals because they talk about how they see things. Auditory people are usually choose different tones to talk to, others will rely on listening.

• Business is about getting your ideas across to other people. Learning to motivate and help other other people see things.

• Four types of people needed in the business: dreamers, analyzers, controllers and persuaders.

• Tapping into people’s values is what will make them want to work or not work.

• Open – this is the greeting. Stand up when someone walks in. Greet them

• Eyes – eye contact is important. Be the first one to look them in the eye.

• Smile – a great smile shows you’re confident and happy.

• Speak – first want to say hello talk.

• Sink – begin immediately imitating the person’s body language.

Becoming a Person of Influence

By John Maxwell

 

• Everyone is an influencer of people no matter who you are. You don’t have to be the highest position to influence others, if you simply have contact with other people, you can influence others.

• Without influence, there is no success.

• A parent has to influence his children in a positive way; a pastor must be able to influence his people in a positive way in order to grow the church; a coach must influence his players in order to have a good team; and a manager must influence his employees or customers in order to make good sales.

Modeling – the first step of influence is modeling it; people do what people see.

Motivation – this is the second level of influence. You must be up close and personal to motivate someone. If people feel good about you and themselves when you’re with them, it will increase your influence and potential.

Mentoring – this is the third level of influencing and has to do with pouring your life into someone else.

Multiplication – this is the fourth and highest level. You help those who you’re influencing to do more as a result of your help and influence. Although few people ever make it to this level of influence, all of us have the potential to do so.

• A Person of Influence has Integrity with People

• • You don’t want to give away or sell your integrity for any price.
  • You can cut corners and no one will know, but it’s better to have a clear conscience than merely getting by with something.

• • Politicians are caught doing illegal actions, professional sports players are caught with drugs, pastors are caught in adultery, and the list can go on.

• • Character is made over time.
  • Character flaws are not made in dark times, they are revealed in dark times.
  • When Lincoln was in office he said that when he leaves the office he wants to be friends with mainly one person and that is himself – his integrity was important to him.

• • Integrity is your best friend.
  • Integrity is also your friend’s best friend. Doing right is best for you and others.

• • Trust is the bottom line of integrity and trust is a glue to keep friends together — when you get peoples trust, you can influence them.

• A Person of Influence Nurtures People

• • To care for a dog you must feed it, then it will become loyal and love you. In some ways, people need to be cared for and fed as well: emotions, security, hope, etc.

• • We tend to think that in order to influence someone we have to have an authority position over them and constructively criticize them, but that is not true. To influence someone, we must care, help and have concern for them.

• • You cannot antagonize and influence someone at the same time.
  • You cannot publicly make someone feel important if you do not secretly think anything of that person.

• • People are influenced the most by those who make them feel good about themselves.

• • The key to nurturing other people is to become other-minded. Think of them and put yourself in their shoes.

• • Great leaders have a way of making other people feel a part.
  • When you nurture people and show respect to them, not expecting anything in return, you can influence their life.

• A Person of Influence has Faith in People

• • Give people hope.
  • The key to how you treat people is what you think about them. Treat a man as he is and you’ll make him feel miserable, but treat a man as you think he should be and you’ll make him into a great person.

• • Give people your time, give with no strings attached, be accessible to them, and help them.

• A Person of Influence Listens to People

• • Yes it is important to have vision casting, to be organized, and more, but the indispensable quality that you need as a leader is to learn to listen.

• • You’re not learning anything if you are doing all the talking.
  • Woodrow Wilson said that the ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.

• • Listening to people earns respect, generates loyalty, gives understanding of others, will help you and much more.

• • In order to be a good listener, you have to want to hear.
  • Here are nine suggestions to help you become a better listener:

• • • Give your undivided attention – don’t catch up on work or shuffle through papers while you’re supposed to be listening.
    • Don’t interrupt – it is just as rude to step on other people’s ideas as it is to step on their toes.

• • • Focus on understanding – most people can only remember 50% of what they hear. So decide to understand and not just listen.

• • • Determine the need at the moment – people talk for different reasons: some need to be heard, some to vent, some out of frustration, etc. Find out why they are saying what they’re saying.

• • • Check your emotions –

• • • Suspend your judgment – don’t jump to any conclusions until you’ve heard all of what has been said.

• • • Sum up at major intervals – if you train yourself to comment frequently (summing up what they said after they finish a specific point), the person will know that you are listening and following them.

• • • Ask good questions – if you want to understand someone, learn to ask them the right questions, follow-up questions.

• • • Make listening a priority – it should be important to us to listen to those whom we work with and those around us, make it a priority.

• A Person of Influence Understands People

• • Success in business has much to do with dealing with people, in fact all of life has to do with dealing with people.

• • If you cannot understand people and work with them, you can’t accomplish anything and you definitely cannot be a person of influence.

• • If you can learn to understand people, than you can help them, motivate them and influence them in a positive way.

• • Understanding people is so important, but why do so many people not care about understanding others – because of fear, intimidation, insecurity and so much more.

• • To understand people, realize that:
    • Everybody wants to be somebody – but it’s a basketball player or anything else, everyone wants to do something of significance with their life. If you treat everyone you meet as important, you can make a difference in her lives.

• • • People have a need to be loved – nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

• • • Everybody needs somebody – everyone needs somebody to come alongside them and help them – if you understand this, it will help others and yourself.

• • • Everybody can be somebody when somebody believes in them – little things done at unimportant times can make a big difference. When was the last time you went out of your way to make someone feel special?

• • • Anybody who helps somebody influences a lot of bodies – when you help one person, you are really impacting many other people.

• A Person of Influence Enlarges People.

• • You can make others better than what they are right now.
  • To become an influence to people and help them, you have to come alongside them in their lives.

• • If you’re going to help others, you yourself must grow and become better.
  • You can teach what you know but you can only reproduce what you are
  • You must continue growing and learning if you’re going to help other people.
  • To help others:
    • See their potential

• • • Cast a vision for the future. There are two kinds of people in life: the realist and the dreamers, the ones who’ve already been there.

• • • Tap into their passion. Everyone has a passion for something so in order to help and influence someone, find out what their passion is & tap into it.
    • Address any character flaws. Remember that integrity is the foundation for growth, so if you do not help them with their foundation, they will not be able to grow.

• • • Focus on their strengths first. Bring out their strong qualities and good attributes, the weaknesses can wait. Only after you have brought out the strengths can you help with their weaknesses… and even then, help in a gentle way and do one thing at a time with the weaknesses.

• • • Enlarge one step at a time. Help them grow in steps instead of overwhelming and discouraging them. Help them in the areas of attitude and relationships.

• • • Put resources in their hands. If you put good resources in people’s hands, not only will they look forward to seeing you but they will also grow in various areas of their life.

• • • Teach them to be self growers. Teach them to help themselves, to find resources and to stand alone.

• A Person of Influence Navigates for Other People.

• • Most people need help getting through difficult times in life and they could use help by being coached by someone with a good attitude.

• • A leader is someone who sees before other see and understands before others understand.

• • To help navigate people know:
    • What do people cry about – what other worries fears and doubts.

• • • What do people dream about

• • • Where are people going in life – help them know where to go and how to get there.
    • Make coarse corrections – not everyone knows when they get off track and how to get back on. Not everyone is a problem solver, so help them.
    • Good navigators go alongside the people – don’t just tell them where to go and how to go, go along with them.

• • Become a navigator of others – you will not only be able to help them through difficult times in their life, but your help will make you friends for life.

• A Person of Influence Connects with People

• • You can navigate people bayou going alongside them, but to connect with them they have to come alongside you.

• • To connect with people remember the following:
    • Don’t take people for granted – you can only help people and influence them if you value them.

• • • Possess a make-a-difference mindset – believe that you can make a difference, that the information you have can make a difference and your time with that person can make a difference.

• • • Initiate towards them – one of the biggest problems managers have is the disconnect from their people. Most people believe that it is the follower’s decision to connect with them, but that is just the opposite for a leader who wants to influence.

• • • Find common ground – learn to listen and find what you have in common.

• • • Recognize and respect differences with other people – yes we find common ground, but they do not have to be exactly like us.

• • • Find the keys to others lives – everyone has a key to their life, you just have to find it.

• • • Communicate from the heart – now that you know who he is and what he is like, communicate from your own heart, be genuine.

• • • Share common experiences – nothing will bind you together like the time of sharing experiences together. Take someone with you, eat a meal together, do an activity together, work together, etc.

• • • Once connected, move forward – if you have not connected with the person, you cannot go forward; but if you have connected with the person, it’s time to move forward. Connection creates willingness.

• A Person of Influence Empowers People

• • When you become an empower-er, you don’t only work in and through people, but you enable them to do more.

• • When you teach your child how to go across the street by himself and then let him, you are empowering him — and the same with delegating anything.

• • To empower others, you must have the position, relationship, respect and commitment to empower others.

• • To empower others:
    • Evaluate them – find out at what level they are in order to help them.

• • • Model for them – even people with skill and desire need to know and see what is expected of them.

• • • Believe in them – tell them and show them that you believe in them.

• • • Transfer authority to them – it’s more than just giving them a workload, it’s giving them the authority to do it.

• • • Assure your confidence in them publicly – public recognition shows them that you believe they will succeed.

• • • Supply them with feedback – if you’re helping them, you must also give them feedback on how they’re doing, etc.

• • • Release them to succeed on their own – you want the best for them so let them go succeed on their own.

• A Person of Influence Reproduces other Influencers.

• • You may have helped others but if you cannot pass the baton effectively, it will die with them.

• • There’s no greater honor than a man pouring himself into something and then when he leaves, it flourishes.

• • The function of a leader is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
  • Learn to move from maintenance to multiplication – most people live their lives in the stage of maintenance and never get to the stage of multiplication.

I – modeling integrity

N – nurturing the people to make them feel valued

F – showing faith in others so they can believe in themselves

L – listening to others

U – understanding them so that you can help them achieve their dreams

E – enlarging them in order to help them increase their potential

N – navigating people through life’s difficulties until they can do it themselves

C – connecting with them so that you can move them to a higher level

E – empowering them to become the person that they were made to be

R – reproducing others so that your influence can continue on

Be The Dad She Needs You to Be

by Kevin Lehman

 

• A home where the dad is not present will more likely be involved in drugs, illicit sex, alcohol, etc.

• Girls especially need their dads.

• Study each of your children and find out what they like and what makes them special.

• No your daughters as an individuals, she is unique so treat her special.

• If you want your daughters to live a disciplined lifestyle, you have to do so yourself.

• If you make it a habit of shutting your daughters down, they will get back at you by doing the opposite or hurting you in someway; that’s human nature.

• Types of parents:

• • The Authoritarian Parent – I am bigger therefore I am better. Just do what I say. The only thing that matters is what I think therefore what I think and say goes. Juvenile detention centers are full of girls who had dads who wanted it their way and always got it their way.

• • The Permissive Parent – whatever she wants she gets. I will pay your tickets, I will get you what you want, etc. but that only creates a kid who thinks that they can have everything they want and everyone around them becomes their hostage. burying your head in the sand does your children a huge disservice.

• • The Authoritative Parent – this is the parent that puts boundaries, realizing that God has given them the position. This is the parent that realizes that they are the adult year and must act like it, they must put boundaries and limits. Your daughter needs to know that there are rules and you’re going to enforce them. There are times when you must say no.

• Daughters that have no doubt about their father’s love for them are more prepared for meeting the world.

• Do not avoid the subject of sex, I knows teachable moments every day like to let your daughters know what it is before the world teaches them what it is. It is better that she learns from a man that she can trust them from a world she cannot trust.
• The best thing that you can do as a father is love your wife. Be the right example.
• The one and most important ingredient in every daughter’s life is their relationship with their father. If that is missing than every other area will suffer.

• When a father is present in the home, it gives security, comfort and assurance to the daughter(s).

• Forgiveness is something great that you can give to your daughter – forgive and ask forgiveness.

• As dads, we must learn to understand her and not just trying to fix her.

• Your daughter will end up marrying someone just like you, dad. If you’re abusive, she will very likely marry an abusive person. If you’re absent, demeaning or loving, that’s probably the type of person she will marry.

• Allow your daughter to get disappointed – the seems the opposite of what we dads want to do or should do. If she comes home disappointed or upset about something, let her learn from that as well. Never let your daughter be abused in anyway, we are talking about her learning and times she is let down in this unfair world.

• Instead of fixing every situation for your daughter, give her the tools in order to fix the situation herself.

• Teach your daughters that other people do matter. If you teach your daughter to put others first, she will be fulfilled and happy. If you teach her to always put herself first, she will always be unfulfilled because someone else is prettier, better, smarter or gets their way.

• Real men show their emotions and share their emotions.

• Walk your talk; become the kind of man that you want your daughter to marry. Would you want your your daughter to marry someone like you? If not, than change!

• Your daughter need your encouragement to get through life.

• Step into your daughter’s world.

• What your daughter thinks about herself, her role and values in this world will come from you dad.
• Be involved in the details. For your daughter sake, get out of your comfort zone and be involved in little things that she likes.
• Your daughter’s interest will change with her age and stages of life; and she needs you as a dad involved in each one of those.

• Learn to connect to your daughters heart.

• Good job – those are super powerful words that a dad should use for his daughter.

• Our job is not to create little clones of ourselves but to help draw out the good personal characteristics of our children. Help her to become a success in life.

• There’s a difference between praise and encouragement – praise is directed to the person and encouragement is about the activity that they did.

• Give your daughter freedom to fail – she is not going to be the best sports player, musician, prettiest girl, etc. When a girl feels that she has failed her dad, she goes to extremes. Let her know that she is loved and admired, appreciated and cherished.

• If you want your daughter to learn how to handle failures well, show her how you handle your own. Tell her how you messed up but it still worked out, share those goofy stories that will make her laugh and still teach her a lesson.

• Practice saying I am sorry and say it often.

• Learn to reveal your embarrassing moments. Everyone has them, but not everyone admits them. Be willing to share them with your daughter and family and let her know how you handled them. Young people, specifically daughters, are scared to death about being embarrassed, but when you share your story about embarrassing moments, she can laugh and her fears can be taken away. Your daughter needs to see how you handle those moments.

• We all have the same amount of time in a day. We can spend extra time at work and make a few extra bucks or we can go home and see our daughters – they need us to be present in their lives. Dad, you are needed at home!

• If you want something different between you and your daughter’s relationship, it is time to change now. And if there’s hardly no time in your schedule for your daughter, it is time to rearrange things in your schedule.

• You leave a imprint on your daughter’s life, so what is your imprint going to be?

• There are no perfect dads but there are good dads – decide to be a good dad.

Axiom

Powerful Leadership Proverbs

by Bill Hybels

I. Vision and strategy.

Language matters.

• Your word choice is very important when you want to say something.

• Leadership can rise and fall on the words that a leader choose.
• When you put the right words with your vision, they can become alive and powerful.

• Choose the right words and others will be in a situation in which they can exceed.
• You may know exactly what you want, but if you do not choose the right words then you will not get the people on board with you. You must use the right words.

Make the big ask.

• Leaders are always asking; asking people to come to Christ, asking people to grow, asking people to buy into their vision, asking people to help, etc.

• Asking is part of your leadership role, but the longer you lead the bigger your asking’s become.

• When handled properly, people are honored to be asked to do things for God.
• Learning to develop how to ask is very important for a leader and his ministry.
• If you have a vision, stand up boldly and look someone eye to eye and learn to ask in the right way. If you learn how to do this, you, your ministry and others will be blessed by it.

Different seasons

• A key responsibility of a leader is to identify what season their ministry is in and then communicate that correctly to their followers.

• When is it time to deepen your foundation, bring more in, get more staff, restructure, etc.?

• It may be time to put all the ministries under a microscope and see if it is time to let them die or change them up. This is hard for a leader, but a leader must learn to identify and know how to work through different seasons.

• You are always in a different season, and as a leader you must learn what the season is and how to navigate through it.

Explosive growth equals Dramatic meltdowns

• When God gives blessings and ministry grows, we must take the time to see if we can structure that growth or if it will break us apart. Many leaders are not ready for growth.
• When growth comes, we can see the blessings and know that God always does his part, but have we done our part to be ready for it?

• Yes, pray that God will give growth, but do your part and be prepared for all the needs that that growth will bring.

Vision, paint the picture passionately.

• William Wilberforce believed one day that slavery would be abolished and the Wright brothers believed that one day people could fly.
• At the core of leadership is vision.
• Vision is a picture of the future that places passion in people.
• Vision and passion are bound up in the heart of a leader.
• Paint the picture for others of the vision that God has placed in your heart – passionately as you can, and do not apologize about it.

Bold move

• Courageous high risk plans.

• You will never take big hills without making bold moves.

An owner or a hireling.

• The apostle Paul headed to Jerusalem knowing that he would very likely be killed. But this did not stop him because he was not a hireling.
• Followers will buy into a vision as much as they believe the leader believes and owns the vision.

• The fun factor will eventually drain out and excitement will dry up… But we must continue and finish the vision that God is put in our heart or we are nothing more than a hired-hand.

Hire 10’s

• Someone who is a number 5 on the scale cannot teach someone who is a number 10 on the scale.
• You must raise your level of effectiveness and hire those who are capable as well

– if not you will never be able to get anyone effective.

• Train your staff to shoot high in their effectiveness.

The fair exchange value.

• A worker deserves his salary.

• Every leader wants maximum results, but the truth is we will receive what we deserve and what we are worthy of, there’s a fair exchange.

The value of a good idea

• Because of a good idea, ministries are added or changed and people can be influenced. Pray that God would give you the idea needed for a specific time and occasion.

• Good leaders know how to seek out ideas that are worth doing.

• Great leaders keep a pad of paper and pen by their bed so they can write down ideas when they come to them. If you are on the road or wherever you may be, have a plan how to write down or do something to later remember a good idea that came to you.

• Good ideas do not happen without someone thinking through it.

Build a boiler fund.

• Things happen that wreck even the greatest of ministries.

• Someday when you least expect it, a boiler (important, expensive piece of equipment) will bust and you will not be able to afford it. Save up now so that you will be ready for that moment.

Vision leaks.

• We can get everyone stirred up and excited on Sunday, but by Tuesday they have totally forgotten about it.
• You have to refill vision every once in a while.
• Learn to ask your staff and others helpful their vision bucket is. Get a gauge of how full the vision buckets around you are and then get busy on topping them off.

Misc.

• • You will have 10 out of every 100 people that will move, die or leave your church every year. Growth must be incremental growth.
  • Have a six-week list of goals, tasks, etc.
  • There are some discussions that must be discussed with many people and other discussions that should stay between a small group or it could cause confusion.

• Teamwork and communication

Never say someone’s “no” for them.

• You will never know if you do not ask. You may be afraid to ask someone to help, give, work, etc. But do not rule it out, let them say no instead of saying it for them.

Do not place people positions that they have not been tested for.

• Putting a person in a position that they cannot do will hurt many people.

Leaders like to be prepared and have contingency plans.

• You have to teach your people and your staff to avoid any last-minute 11th hour surprises.

The people you lead have to know that they are part of a burden-carrying team.

A leader must learn to ask his team how they are doing.

• We live in a world where asking someone how they are doing means to give a superficial answer, but leaders must ask team how they are really doing in order to work together and be most effective.

Get the right people around the table.

• Every problem known to mankind is solvable when you have the right people at the table.
• You could be nervous about situations but if you have capable people working with you than you can know things will be taken care of.

Who is in charge.

• Problems will not be solved unless everyone knows who is in charge of specific areas.
• Nothing is fixed when no one knows whose responsibility it is to fix it.
• Have someone in charge of every area from the get-go and problems will be solved, things will be accomplished and fruit will be seen.

Speed of the leader is speed of the team.

• Jesus said follow me and Paul said imitate me.

• If you want to know how determined people are in their jobs, look at how determined the leader is. The same can be applied with how people respond to a problem, how joyous they are, how gracious they are, and how much faith they have. The leader sets the pace.

• Leaders must never expect from others what they do not do themselves. Leader cannot expect more creativity, higher commitment or better work ethic if they are not modeling it.

• A leader should be able to say follow my values, my integrity, and my work ethic, and be very satisfied with the results.

Pay attention to greetings and goodbyes.

• A leader usually wants to jump right in and get things accomplished, but he should take time for the greetings and goodbyes.
• The most important part of a meeting is the greetings and goodbyes, not the agenda, goals or other details.

• If you shake hands, smile and welcome people genuinely, the meeting will go better, there will be a different spirit about it, and more will be accomplished. How you begin and end a meeting is much more important than we know.

Deliver the bad news first.

• What you leave with someone will be remembered, so begin the meeting or conversation with the bad news first.
• Once the bad news is out, you are free to talk about other things and the worse part is over.
• Too many leaders kick off the meeting by rattling off the best news first and then end with the bad news — big mistake.

• The difference between great communication and poor communication many times is where you place the bad news.

Disagree without drawing blood.

• Ephesians 4:15 – speak the truth in love.

• When we quarrel, and we will, we can disagree without hurting the future relationship or cause.

• Your team must know that they can disagree without drawing blood.

Help me understand.

• Instead of being critical or attacking the person for what he/she did, make sure you understand exactly why they did what they did, the person’s intentions and reasons. You may still have to take action, but asking may change how you look at the situation.

• The spirit of the question will help your criticism or correction with the person.

Just to be clear.

• Great leaders know that they must be crystal clear when they sound the trumpet.

• Learn to ask again if you were clear. Finish your topic by saying, “just to be clear, I am saying…”.

A–B–C.

• Tell people how they are doing at their job – evaluate them with A,B,C. This is clear and will let them know that they are doing good or need to improve.
• Everyone wants to know if they are succeeding or failing.

Keep short accounts.

• Working close to others will inevitably lead to someone getting their feelings hurt.

• There are two thoughts here: 1) Some think that just letting time go by, the problem will heal itself. 2) The Bible way is Ephesians 4:26, to not let the sun go down on your wrath.

• The more time between the infraction and the healing will only cause the problem to grow, so go fix things right away.

• Learn to make the phone calls or go meet the people and ask forgiveness or if everything is fine – keep short accounts and it will be better for everyone.

• The healthiest places or not those that are conflict-free rather those committed to keeping short accounts.

We get to do this together.

• Remember that when things are accomplished to let everyone about the victory but the best part is that we got to do this together.
• When something happens, make sure to honor the individuals that contributed to making it happen.

III. Activity and Assessment.

We should be the people shoveling and not those leaning on the shovel.

• The doors are open, the path is clear the time is now, we must become action oriented and get things done.
• Lead with a bias toward action and hire those as well that have a bias toward action.

Performance buys freedom.

• When staff gets things done allow them to have freedom areas but if things are not getting done, then step in and limit freedoms.

Be responsible.

• Respond to phone calls, emails and letters within 24 hours.

• Return every phone call, no one likes to feel ignored.
• Every week he (Bill Hybles) write 15 to 24 thank you letters and responds to all his letters.

• Small stuff does in fact matter no matter who you are.

Too much.

• Good leaders call out high commitments from people but you must know when is too much.
• You cannot expect or ask people to do things too much or you will burn them out.

Facts are your friends.

• You might see a decrease in numbers and ask what is going on only to be told that people are still fine and all is ok. But the facts still show you something is wrong. The facts are your friends.

• Leaders are quick to make excuses like: times are hard, it’s not like it used to be, there is a evil spirit here, etc. But we must take action by looking at the facts and knowing something must be changed.

• We may think that facts are our enemy because they show where we fail and how we are not doing very well, but we must embrace the facts and find the solution.

Find the critics kernel of truth.

• Tucked inside each criticism holds some kernel of truth.

• If we can learn to identify, we can get much help from it instead of stewing over the negative side.
• Finding the kernel of truth is a tough thing to master, but if we can learn it than we will be much more effective.

Leaders must be a fight.

• The leader is not meant to stay in an air-conditioned room, he must get out there and lead in the heat of the battle.
• The leader must provide the energy and enthusiasm that their troops.

Brain breaks.

• There is only a certain amount of time that you can study and work before you’re brain needs to take a break.
• Typically it happens at the 60 minute or 90 minute mark.
• A brain break should be about 15 minutes of getting up, walking around, grabbing a snack, getting some fresh air, changing rooms or whatever you need to let your blood flow.

• Many times the brain break will allow you to think of new ideas when you return.
• Your mind works according to rhythms of concentration that are beyond your control.

Pace your speed.

• Many leaders grow in so many areas but their soul is starved.

• If you go to fast, you may be empty on the inside.
• You have to learn to ask yourself if you are growing on the inside as well as the outside.

• Is your relationship with God growing or decreasing? Are you drawing closer to God or further?

• How is my relationship between me and God? How is my relationship between me and my family?

• Am I so wrapped up in my work that I neglect my relationship with God, family and personal growth?

• If your soul is suffering, maybe it’s time to change your pace. Maybe you need to slow down and rethink things.

What to do when you fail.

• It’s easy to go in and criticize or blame others, but why not check out the reasons.

• Did you learn anything from it? If you learned from it, than it was worthwhile.
• Learn something from every mistakes.

Have a daily finish line.

• Do you know when your day starts and when your day ends? Do you have a specific time when you can wrap things up, shut the computer, get up and say you’re finished?

• Having a finish line for yourself will greatly help you.
• You could be making great progress, but if you do not have a finish line, you will run yourself ragged and burn out.
• Create your own finish line both daily and weekly. By creating finish lines, you will be much more relaxed and less stressed. You could become a greater parent, spouse and person as a result of setting finish lines in your work and life.
• Ministry becomes nonstop all of the time and resentment can set in, so set finish lines to avoid resentment, burnout and quitting.

Debrief.

• Every leader wants to become better, every team wants become better and every organization wants to become better. If you’re not careful you will think you were always going to get better and soon be let down. You must have the discipline to debrief.

• A leader must stop and go over everything that happened if he is going to get better.

• Rally the troops after a big event and find out why or why things didn’t go like they were supposed to.

Pay now, play later.

• Leaders know that they must do the critical task first. You have to pay before you can play.
• Every day you will see fun or easy things that you can do, but you must choose to do the hard thing first.

Are we still having fun.

• Sure they’re going to be hard times, but there should be some sense of satisfaction if we’re doing what we believe God wants us to do.
• We can and should still be having fun even in the hard times.
• Learn to ask yourself and ask your staff if you’re still having fun.
• Effective leadership has a lot to do with making sure the people’s spirits stay lifted up and they enjoy what they do.

Do not beat the sheep.

• There will be plenty of times when goals are not reached and expectations are not met. There will be times when people do not show up or things will not get done, but be very careful not to take it all out on the sheep.

• Many want to think about the days when the shepherd carried around a big stick and hit the sheep when they did not do what they were supposed to, but that should not happen in leadership.

• Many times it is the leader, the shepherd, that needs to be beat and not the sheep. We think it is their fault but it may be our fault. Have you prayed? Have you conveyed it correctly? Did you choose the right time to do it? Did you plan well? If the answers are no, you cannot blame the sheep, you must blame yourself.
• Before you get mad, but the stick down and ask yourself if you have served your sheep first. Never beat the sheep.

IV. Personal integrity.

Read all you can.

• What are the name of three leadership books that you have read in the last 12 months?
• Leaders know the importance of reading.
• When you read, you place new and fresh ideas in your mind.
• If you are serious about leading, you will read all you can – when you feel like it and when you do not.

• If you get yourself in a bind do not know what to do because you have not read any good books lately, it is all your fault.

Just do something.

• You will get better at things when you do things.

• Don’t talk about or have theories about, just begin doing something and you will grow in so many ways.

Arrive early or do not arrive at all.

• Jesus said let your yes be yes and your no be no, so arrive on time or don’t tell people that you will meet them.
• Promises are about character keeping and will reveal your character.
• When a leader arrives late, people will understand that he is not serious or that the meeting is not that important. But when a leader figures in time for extra delays and arrives early, people know that the leader believes the meeting is important.

• Value people’s time and life enough to keep your word and arrive early.

We are all needed.

• Every person has talent and gifts and everyone is needed.

• Do not think that you can do it all by yourself.

Excellence honors God.

• Everything that we do should be given our best. We should give our best because it is God’s work.
• A leader does not need to be pushed, there’s something inside of him that pushes him to strive for excellence.

• What would happen if in every ministry everyone strived for excellence because they realized it was for Jesus?

Admit you’re wrong and make headway.

• A leader should shoot straight as soon as he knows he messed up.
• When a leader shifts the blame, his credibility falls.
• When something goes wrong, everyone wants to see who is going to take the blame and the leader that accepts it will be respected in their eyes — that is the leader others will follow.
• I have failed… those are words of a trustworthy leader.

Lead at home.

• Show me a leader that can share his vision in a white-hot way but that has a wife that does not respect him and problems at home, and I will show you trouble that is waiting to happen.

• Leadership’s first test is the family, and until that test is past than no other test matters.

• You have to fight to make time for your family and keep that a priority… you must be a fighter in this area.

• No matter how good ministry is going, they will always need more time from you.
• You have to fight for time. Your family is important.
• Schedule time for your family every week. Take vacations. Set your priorities right.

• When it comes to your family the one who should be fighting is you.

Finish well.

• How you leave a place is how you will be remembered there.

• If you finish well, you will be remembered with admiration and respect.
• It is the nature of an organizations that people come and go but the key is finishing well. The question is not if one will eventually leave somewhere but if he/she will leave well.
• When you are the leader and someone else wants to leave, find out how you can help them finish well. Tell them the importance of finishing well and help them do so.

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

by Amy Morin

 

Mentally strong people have healthy habits.

Bad habits are like unwanted weights, they will hold you down and frustrate you, not letting you move forward.

Developing your mental strength is about controlling your emotions, behaviors and thoughts.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves Self-pity is self-destructive.

People to focus on the problem and disability instead of what can be accomplished in life even though there was an accident, those are the ones that move forward. Dwelling on the disability will run you.

Do you stay home from social activities just to dwell on your own problems? Do you think no one can understand you and your problems? Do you think about how everyone else is blessed? Do you think that the world is out to get you?

Pity is easy to do and reactionary. Feeling sorry for yourself self-destructive. Quit feeling sorry for yourself

A. Do a random act of kindness

Think or do something for others, it’s hard to absorb Eddie when you are helping others.

B. Do something active.

If you choose to look at the negative side of it in any situation, it will bring self-pity. If you choose to find a Silverlining in any situation, you will become thankful. There is a silver lining in every situation.

C. Exchange self-pity into gratitude.

• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down all the little things.

• Say what you are grateful for.

• Ask others what they are grateful for. Asking others with their grateful for a spark areas in your mind for what you should be grateful for.

• Teach your children to be grateful.

Focus on your blessings are not on your burdens.

Focusing on your blessings mental health, it also improves your physical health. Gratitude leads to positive emotions. People who are grateful seem to be happier, get sick less and feel better.

Grateful people usually forgive people more than those that are negative

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

When we do not forget, you’re giving our power over to those who have hurt us. Giving other people power over how you feel thank behave takes away your mental strength.

Set healthy physical and emotional boundaries for yourself.

You have the power to choose your own direction in life.

You do not have to feel the sense of being the victim.

Who are you devoting all of your time and energy to, are they worth receiving it? When you think about someone, how big or two or make you angry, you are giving them Lord mental strength, power it emotions.

A. Get your mind off of what you’re thinking about when you’re upset.

B. Distract yourself by going on a walk or doing something else.

C. Rephrase the words that you use, did not say they made you mad or you have to do something.

D. Retain your opinion. When you are criticized someone put you down, remember who you are and do not let it change you. E. Remember where the source of criticism came from.

One persons opinion of you does not make it true. Was there any truth in what they said, anything that should be changed about you? What’s what they said based on a one-time experience when you did not perform the best? Harboring bitterness only steals from you and give the other person power.

Choosing to forgive will allow you to retain your power.

Medically, choosing to forgive let you live longer. Choosing to forgive her to recover quicker, heal faster.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change A. All or nothing change.

B. Have it change – changing old habits or good habits. C. Behavioral change –

Change requires doing something different.

Shying away from change will not help anything. The longer we wait, the harder it gets. Create a list of why the change is needed and what it will do as a result.

Create a goal what you want to change the next 30 days.

I didn’t buy steps for the change and obstacles that stand in your wedding planning ahead will help you.

Keep yourself accountable by writing it down or sharing it with others.

Study of the behavior that you want to if you want to be more outgoing or more healthy., And study people about that.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

It feels good to have control of something, but we cannot control all things.

Trying to control everything cause you not to enjoy what you have around you.

Trying to control things as a cover-up for your anxiety but it will backfire.

Trying to control everything waste the time and the energy.

Being a control freak damages.

You cannot control every situation i’m not the only thing that you can control is your behavior and your attitude.

By focusing on what you can control instead of can’t control, you will worry less. Practice acceptance. You cannot control the traffic so you might as well enjoy Music instead of punching the steering wheel and yelling.

Even though you do not like the situation you are in, you can choose to accept it. Increased happiness happens when people realize I cannot control every aspect of their lives.

You will have less stress when you realize you cannot control every situation.

You up new opportunities when you quit trying to control everything.

You will have better relationships be able to trust others when you quit trying to control everything.

You will have more success when you quit trying to control everything. Research shows that when you’re so focused on success or any other area, you try to control it and never reach the success that you are aiming for.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

People pleasers usually damage relationships that you can’t please everyone. People pleasers usually lose sight of their values

Just because it pleases everyone does not make it right.

Worrying about what everyone else thinks it’s a waste of time. You cannot change what they think anyways so don’t waste time worrying about it.

You can’t please everyone – it is a possible that every person will be pleased with what you do.

People pleasers are often manipulated because people play on their emotions.

When Quit worrying about pleasing others who have more time and energy to direct towards the thing like it want.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

We all take face challenges in our lives (physical, emotional, mental, financial)., But unless we take those risks we will never be able to find out what can happen. A lack knowledge of how to calculate the risks leads to fear.

You don’t get to be extraordinary without taking risks.

If we don’t take risks, we are off to choosing between ordinary or extraordinary life.

Base your risks more on facts and not feelings.

What are the potential cost for this risk?

What are the potential benefits for this risk?

What is the worst case scenario oh if the risk went bad?

Taking calculated risks will give you insight in areas and teach you more.

Success will not find you, you have to pursue it.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

You can’t change the past

When something bad happens, don’t keep replaying it in your mind. Staying stuck in the past is not healthy nor helpful.

Dwelling on the past will distract you from living and working in the present.

You’ll miss out on new opportunities and living things today if you’re dwelling on the past.

Dwelling on the past can lead to depression.

Going on the past can make you exaggerate of how things were perfect back then and are not as good now.

You can learn from the past so it just beating yourself up over the past.

Steps goals for the future. It is impossible to dwell on past if you’re making goals about future.

Decide to think about something else when you began falling on the past. Make peace with the past:

• Give yourself a mission to move forward.

• Recognize the toll of dwelling on the past versus living in the present.

• Practice forgiveness.

• Change activities so that you’re mine does not stay dwelling on the past.

If you spend all of the time looking in the rearview mirror, you will never be able to look out of the windshield.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

When we deny our mistakes, you’re more likely to repeat them in the future.

Would you make the same mistakes over and over about your tire yourself out nowhere

– just like a dog chasing its tail.

You’ll never be able to solve the problem if you continue repeating the problem over and over.

Identify clear strategies to avoid making the same mistake.

Create a plan to not repeat the mistakes.

Find a way to hold yourself accountable.

Practice self-discipline. It is not a matter if some out so I’ll just plan something not I’ll buy everyone does, it’s just a matter of practicing it. Learning from your mistakes will make you stronger.

Mentally strong people will share their mistakes with others so that they don’t make them.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Resentment is like drinking or bills another person – Nelson Mandela.

It’s easy to resent others when you don’t even know what what yourself. Resentment anytime just because your knees.

A resentment many times comes from a lack of understanding others. We think that their life is perfect or that they never have problems.

You will never enjoy what you have if you are always thinking about what others have.

You will never be satisfied because you’re always looking to what others up.

You will never grow up or get better yourself – when you’re always looking to others, you’re not focusing on what you have or what you’re doing therefore you cannot get better at it.

Never enjoy your relationship with others if you’re secretly holding grudges.

• Avoid comparing yourself to others.

• Get to know people – if you get to know someone, it is very likely that you will not think as bad about them.

• Quit magnifying other people Straits – resentment many times come from magnifying the strengths of others.

• Avoid deciding what is fair for you and everyone else

When you’re tempted to what other people success, remember your own definition of success.

Don’t compare yourself to everyone around you.

Learn to cooperate with others cannot compete with them.

If you focus on your own goals, you don’t have to worry about other people success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Although some people don’t give up with failure and that gives them the desire to keep going, maybe just give up.

Failure can be a wonderful experience if you will continue moving forward afterwards.

Those who give up after failing the first time ever accomplish much.

Grit is that better detector and IQ – your IQ does not mean you’ll be successful, grit usually does.

By thinking about what you can learn through the process, failure will only be part of the process and not devastating.

Failure is part of the process of success.

You can learn from failure, you can benefit from it and it will make you a better person.

Face your fear of failure.

If you get used to failing, it is not that scary, especially if you can do it over and over again and become better because of it.

Bouncing back after failure would make you successful.

Failure can build character as well as identify strengths that you would never found without the failure.

Don’t allow yourself to think that failure is worse than it really is.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

The thought of spending time alone scares people about they don’t want it.

Most have background music on, they never want to be alone, waste of time and feel it is unproductive.

People who feel like they must accomplish something all the time try to avoid alone time. Some people feel guilty about it. But alone time is needed.

Loneliness is a feeling that no one is with you, but solitude is a choice to be alone to think and reflect.

Solitude can increase productivity.

Spending alone time can spark creativity.

Solitude provides restoration.

Although it is not easy to stop and take time for yourself, there are great group questions for those who do not do it.

Stopping for time to walk, garden, etc. will actually help you not hurt you.

You must schedule solitude in a long time just like you to schedule other things.

Trying to fall asleep or drown yourself with background noise is not healthy.

Take time to stop and reflect on your goals or write in journal.

Turn off technology and take some some time by taking a date alone.

It is not healthy trying to be so busy that we only focus on productivity or what we accomplish. Taking time to journal is not a waste. Background music every moment is not healthy.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Thinking that you deserve things could be just as detrimental as that you are superior.

Overindulging parenting will hurt your child to grow up.

We live in a social media world tells us we deserve everything.

We often say that some someone has something better after we are trying to help them, but the world does not work that way. The world owes us nothing. Everyone in this world has problems, you’re not the only one.

You’re different from everyone else, but that does not make you better or more deserving than everyone else.

Although you cannot control all the situations, you can control your feelings and reactions.

Focus on your efforts and set up your importance.

Become a team player, see how you can make other people better instead of thinking about yourself.

Acknowledge your flaws and weaknesses, everyone has them. Do not have a inflated self perception.

Learn to receive correction and criticism in the right way, that will make people like or dislike you.

Practice humility often.

When you quit trying to show off, you can improve your job performance.

Accept what the world get you without complaining that you deserve or want something better.

Give back to others in need.

Quit taking only your own feelings and perspectives.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

We must have an understanding that success does not happen overnight.

Mentally strong people realize that it takes time, I think it’s instant.

One in 10 Americans take anti-depression pills at any start taking them before they are medically prescribed.

we live in a world that we have everything now – you don’t have to wait for a letter to arrive because you can send email, you don’t have to watch commercials because we have movies on demand, order online, etc.

Personal changes and people to not move as fast as technology.

Unrealistic expectations for it’s a change will only set you up to fail.

We give up on our goals wait to seven. We start to exercise and see no change so we quit, but the body is working up to a progress of change. Most quit New Year’s resolutions wait too soon.

Wanting fast change anytime causes people to do illegal things: steroids, cheating, lying, etc.

When you want the cake to bake faster, you open up the oven door but as a result that he goes out. And when you are in a hurry in life, you’re rushing things that you lose momentum.

Commit for the long haul.

Create realistic expectations.

Recognize that progress is not always obvious.

Do you know if restorations of the healthy manner – some days you feel like giving up.

Keep your eye on the end goal in mind.

Delay self gratification.

If you want to change the way you feel, you have to change the way you think.