When Work & Family Collide
By Andy Stanley
- Who wins when your work and family collide?
- It’s usually not God that’s prying you away from your family, it’s your problem.
- There’s not enough time for everything in life, so something has to be shortened — just make sure it’s not your family.
- God made work before family, but there was never a conflict before sin entered the world.
- Work is a means to an end but should not be the end.
- Everyone has good intentions. They want to go on more vacations, have more dates, and have more playing time with the kids, but good intentions aren’t the problem, your schedule is the problem.
- It is not enough for your family to be your priority, they must feel like they are your priority.
- Even more than being loved, your family wants to know they are accepted.
- Does your calendar reveal that your family is your priority?
- Actions speak louder than intentions.
- To stop stealing from your family, you must make a decision that you will be there for them no matter the rewards or outcome.
- Once you decide, you need to decide some nonnegotiables.
- What one change would your wife want you to make so she feels she’s your priority? Maybe she wants you to stop a hobby, arrive home at a certain time, etc.
- Making the excuse that we’re busy in “the Lords work” is more about ego than it is about the Lord.
- If we will learn to work hard while we’re at work, we can relax when we’e at home.
- The things that make or break you at work usually don’t have much to do with your work schedule, rather the priorities and opportunities.
- The blessings of God do not come as a result of violating God‘s principles.
- You will retire or stop working at some point in life. Who you you go home to is determined by the priorities you put in practice now.
- It has been said that no one gets to the end of their life and wishes they spent more time at work — and you are not the exception.
The On-Time, On-Target Manager
By Ken Blanchard and Steve Gottry
- People often procrastinate because they do not have a clear picture of what is important.
- Procrastinators cause stress for both themselves and for others.
- Procrastination causes someone to wait until the last minute and then juggle things, not doing any of them well.
- Procrastination is one of the biggest reasons someone arrives to their destination late.
- Procrastination is almost always a bad concept of priorities.
- Do the right thing, at the right time, and in the right order.
- Do the right things for the right reasons and with the right people.
- Do the right things but in the right order.
- Be committed, but be committed to the right things. Procrastination is not being committed, or not being committed to the right things.
- On-time, on-target managers know how to say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things.
What the Most Successful People do Before Breakfast
By Laura Vanderkam
- You can spend 3-4 hours a day on mindless tasks such as checking email, scrolling through FB, or just sitting there.
- Your highest value jobs are nurturing your family, nurturing your career, and nurturing yourself (prayer, hobbies, exercise).
- Before eating breakfast, some of the most successful people have already accomplished things.
- Successful people have things they want to tackle, and early mornings are the most controlled time they have.
- Mornings are one of the most available and controllable time. If you wait until the end of the day to do the most important things (pray, be with your family, exercise, etc.), it will probably never happen.
- We all have 168 hours in the week, but we don’t always have control of the hours like we do at other times.
- Tasks that require the most will power are easiest to do when the day is young.
- People who brush their teeth in the morning don’t stand there thinking about the discomfort of the bristles in their mouth, they do it because it’s a routine. And placing morning routines in your life will allow you to get more done.
- You can eat, do laundry, watch TV, and other such things, but you don’t really need discipline to do those things, you’ll do them anyways.
- A study shows that people who exercise in the morning are more likely to keep with the routine as opposed to those who exercise at other times of the day.
- Track your time. To accomplish more, it helps to know what you are currently doing.
- Picture the perfect morning for you. Is it breakfast, meditation, exercise, gardening, new ideas, taking a class, painting, or something else? Picture in your mind what it will look like for you, and work towards making it happen.
- Think through the logistics. Give yourself 15 minutes to shower and you’ll take 15 minutes — figure the logistics.
- Map out the plan. If you don’t turn off the light and go to sleep, you won’t be able to get up on time. Try reading, writing, or doing what you need to do to wind down and get some rest.
- Make a habit. When something becomes a habit, it is hard to break.
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married
By Gary Chapman
- Your wedding day is only the beginning of your marriage, not the climax of it.
- Like mother like daughter or like father like son is not just a cute saying, it is true. Our environment makes us who we are. That doesn’t mean we cannot change, but it does mean that we are likely to repeat the behaviors we grew up with if we do not learn and work at it.
- We are more like our parents than we realize.
- Get to know your future in-laws because those are the habits and traits your spouse will one day have.
- Conflicts do not mean that you married the wrong person, they just prove that you are human. You have your set of opinions and believe they’re right – and your spouse has their set of opinions and believes they’re right.
- When there’s a conflict, your first step in fixing it is to listen instead of talk.
- The key to fixing conflict is compromise. That word is not negative, it means that you are willing to yield some of your opinions to what your spouse thinks.
- When there is a conflict, maybe you need to meet in the middle or even meet later, but you do not have to let the conflict split you up.
- Learning to apologize is actually sign of strength.
- Apologizing is an emotional decision, knowing you hurt the other person.
- Real men do cry and real men do apologize.
- If you will learn how to apologize in a sincere way, your marriage and relationships will be much greater.
- Forgiveness is not a feeling.
- When someone offends another person, automatic barrier goes up. These barriers cannot be removed unless there is a sincere apology and/or real forgiveness.
- There are no healthy marriages without sincere apologies and forgiveness.
- Discuss marital rolls and come to an agreement on specific areas for each of you – if you cannot agree before you are married, what makes you think you can agree after you are married?
- When you get married, it is no longer my money and your money, it becomes our money.
- Good plan of use for your money is the 10-10-80 principal. You save 10%, give 10% away and spend 80% on normal payments (house, car, food, etc.).
- Decide who will keep the books, how you budget, and that you will never make a big purchase without talking to the other person.
- Mutual sexual fulfillment will not naturally happen, you have to know this so that you can work at it.
- For women, sex begins in the kitchen. A man cannot verbally abuse his wife and 30 minutes later ask her to make love expecting her to enjoy it.
- Foreplay is much more important to the woman than it is to the man. If a man expects sex without foreplay, his wife might feel violated.
- Sex is more than intercourse, it is a bonding and uniting.
- Communication is the key that will unlock sexual pleasure. If you have never spoken to your spouse about what pleases them, you may have a wrong idea of what sex feels to your spouse.
- If you’re not going to be honest, open, and talk about your religious beliefs before you get married, you probably will not do it after marriage either. You should talk to the one that you are going to marry about their beliefs before you ever get married.