Pray First


By Chris Hodges (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Prayer is exchanging your best for God’s best.
  • It’s not “all’s well that ends well,” rather “all’s well that begins well.” Begin with
    prayer!
  • Too many times we make prayer more difficult than it needs to be.
  • Prayer is about a relationship, not a religion.
  • Before you act on or do anything, pray first. Pray before you go and as you go.
  • Having a prayer place is a good habit. It doesn’t matter if it’s at your home, office, a
    park, or elsewhere, the emphasis is you are with God in your heart.
  • Jesus seemed to favor praying to His Father outside.
  • The greatest force on earth is not from a government or weapon but God working
    and answering prayers.
  • God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God.
  • Why put your hope in the provision when you can put your hope in the Provider.
  • Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work. — Oswald
    Chambers
  • Prayer is relational and spiritual. It unleashes God’s power to work in churches,
    organizations, nations, and individuals.

Overcoming Bitterness


By Stephen Viars (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Bitterness is not a reaction but a reality, and you must face it well.
  • It will do you good to be honest about the bitter happenings in this world. And it’s at
    that time that you can taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).
  • Understanding the pain from bitterness should impact how you treat others – don’t
    make jokes at other’s expense, be careful how you respond, etc.
  • Your bitter circumstances and experiences can make your relationship with the Lord
    fuller and richer.
  • Which of the wrongful extremes do you fall into when it comes to bitter
    circumstances: complaining or suffering in silence?
  • Blame shifting is as old as the garden of Eden, but Jesus reminds us that we should
    remove the beam from our own eye before looking at another (Matthew 7:3-5).
  • Bitter tears can move you to greater depth in your relationship with God, and
    motivate you to remember that only your future will be fully satisfying.
  • Esau had to decide between immediate gratification or God’s eternal purpose, and
    later he cried bitter tears. But Jacob didn’t take his birthright, Esau sold it.
  • People do not become bitter when things go their way. It’s when disappointments in
    life come that you’re tested to either see things through God‘s point of view or your
    own.
  • The Bible principle is to put off and put on — put off thoughts, behaviors, patterns,
    and cravings that are you-focused and put on what is God-focused.
  • The one word that explained Naomi was “bitterness.” What would be the one word
    that would explain who you are?
  • Naomi’s bitterness caused her to lie — she said she left full (not true since they left
    Israel because of a famine) and now was empty (though God had provided for her
    even in her bitterness). Bitterness causes one to lie and exaggerate.

Loneliness

By Lou Priolo (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Loneliness has become a worldwide epidemic and what’s more, is that it is
    dangerous.
  • Those that are lonely are more prone to high blood pressure, a stroke, anxiety,
    depression, poor cognitive performance, and dementia.
  • Naomi, Elijah, King David, the Apostle Paul, and Jeremiah are just a few people in
    the Bible that suffered from loneliness.
  • Loneliness may be characterized as a defective relationship with God. Whether
    unsaved, or not in fellowship with your Creator.
  • Having a right relationship with God is your key to both pleasing God and being
    satisfied.
  • To change your feelings, you must change your thoughts. So we must repent of our
    thinking and change it the way God intends.
  • Our loneliness is like a smoke alarm that indicates something is not right. It is God’s
    detector, letting us know that we need to get close to Him.
  • Loneliness, many times leads us to believe that we need others when in reality we
    need God.
  • Loneliness can be a blessing instead of a curse.
  • Loneliness can cause you to minister to others because you both understand and
    see the need.
  • When you are lonely you need to talk to yourself more than listen to yourself.
  • Self-pity is essentially discontentment with what God has or has not given you.
  • When you focus on yourself instead of God, you intensify your loneliness
  • When you are lonely, you must get up and get out. You don’t feel like seeing others,
    but don’t let these unbiblical thoughts keep you from being with and ministering to
    others.
  • Focus on loving others instead of focusing on your need from others.
  • When you are lonely, you’re likely failing in the “one another” commands that God
    gives in the Bible.
  • At the heart of loneliness is learning to be content. Content that God has truly given
    you everything that you currently need.

Lies Men Believe

By Robert Wolgemuth (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

These truths will set and keep us free:

  1. God is holy — Ps 29:2; 99:5.
  2. Nothing is too grand or insignificant for God’s care – Ps 37:23-24; 139:2-3
  3. I cannot earn God’s acclamation, I can only receive His favor — Ephesians 4:1-6; 2:8-9; Titus 3:5
  4. Jesus is the only way to God – John 14:6; Acts 4:12; 1 Timothy 2:5-6
  5. For the believer, church is not an option, it’s standard equipment — Ps 133;
    Ephesians 2:19-20; 4:15-16; Hebrews 10:24-25
  6. Regardless of things that have happened to me or difficult situation I find myself
    in, I am responsible for my actions – 1 Corinthians 13:11; Galatians 6:7-8
  7. He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. –
    Jim Elliott. — Matthew 16:25; John 15:13; Ephesians 5:2
  8. The Master is the master of my destiny, and daily submitting myself to Him will
    bring me joy, purpose, and true riches — Psalm 37:5; 40:8; 1 Peter 5:6
  9. Real men are free to express and feel deep emotions. When I do so, it shows I am
    a real man with a heart like God’s. — Ps 42:3; Ecc 3:4; Rom 12:15
  10. I need real friends, faithful enough to speak truth and that I could speak truth to
    them. – Proverbs 13:20; 18:24; 27:6, 17; 1 Thessalonians 5:11
  11. God’s grace is needed both for the phony everyone sees and the real scoundrel
    inside I know so well – Ps 51:10; Mt 7:21-23; Rom 3:23-24; James 4:6
  12. God cares about His rules; I must do the same for my own good. — John 14:15, 23; I John 5:2-3
  13. I cannot look at other more wicked men to make myself look better. I should look
    only to the perfect righteous One which is God. — Romans 14:4; James 4:12
  14. Nothing I have done puts me out of the reach of God’s complete forgiveness. —
    Acts 3:19; Ephesians 1:7; 1 John 1:7-9
  15. My secret sins cannot be hidden indefinitely. They will be brought to the light. For
    good or bad, they impact those around me — Numbers 14:18; Proverbs 28:13;
    Luke 8:17
  16. Living a holy life in dependence of the Holy Spirit is a wonderful thing, and is the
    pathway to happiness and pure joy. — 2 Corinthians 7:1; 2 Timothy 1:9; 1 Peter
    1:13-16
  17. Pornography is deadly. As a married man, it is virtual adultery. Intimacy with Christ
    and shared expression in context of a monogamous marriage offer far greater
    satisfaction. — Ps 119:37; Mt 5:28; 1 John 2:16
  18. An honest, open, and transparent relationship with my wife will be sweet and
    worth whatever it takes to get there — Colossians 3:12-14; James 5:16
  19. God’s created order for sexuality is right and good. When we accept His way,
    repent of our own way, and rest in Christ, there’s fulfillment. — Ephesians 5:1-9; 1
    Corinthians 6:9-11, 18-20; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7; Hebrews 13:4
  20. Because I love my wife, her sexual fulfillment should be more important than my
    own. What is really good for her will be good for me. – Proverbs 5:15-19; 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
  21. Instead of just doing good things for my wife, she needs to hear nice things from
    me, including the words, I love you. — Proverbs 25:11; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:19
  22. God alone can give me ultimate happiness and fulfillment. As I seek Him, He will
    give me ultimate joy. – Psalms, 16:11; 40:11; 119:2; Mt 6:33
  23. God has called me to provide spiritual leadership for my family. You do not have
    what it takes to do that fully, but if you ask Him, He will give you all you need. — Jeremiah 33:3; first Corinthians 11:3; James 1:5
  24. God calls me to be a man who loves, serves, and protects his family by His grace
    and for His glory. — Luke 2:52; 1 Corinthians 16:13; 1 Timothy 5:8
  25. I must discipline, instruct, and encourage my children. Only God can change their
    heart, and that’s what I pray for. — Deuteronomy 6:7-8; Proverbs 22:6; 29:17;
    Ephesians 6:4
  26. if Jesus is really all I want, He will be all I truly need. — psalms 16:5-8; Romans 8:31-32; Colossians 2:9-10
  27. If I belong to God, all of my hours belong to Him as well. – Psalms 90:12; Ephesians 5:15-17
  28. It is my God-given responsibility to provide and protect my family. Through my
    example, I can show them. They have a Heavenly Father that provides all of their
    needs. – Palm 107:9; 145:15-16; 1 Timothy 5:8
  29. My faith and work cannot be compartmentalized. I should faithfully serve God and
    others in everything I do. — Colossians 3:23-24; James 2:26
  30. I can never not afford to be generous to others. This blesses them and me. — Proverbs 11:24-25; Luke 6:38; Acts 20:35; 1 Cor. 9:6-8
  31. I have been forgiven much, so I must forgive much. This truth must color the way
    when I respond. — Luke 7:47; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13
  32. Pain and suffering are tools in God’s wise, loving hands. Doing His work helps me
    become more like His Son, and for that I need to give thanks. — Romans 5:3-4; 8:18; 2 Cor. 4:7-11; Hebews 2:10; 1 Peter 5:10
  33. We live and serve in a world rigged against Jesus and if I live for Him, it is rigged
    against me as well. I have the confidence one day He will right all things, but until
    then He will help and sustain me. — 2 Chronicles 20:6; Proverbs 16:3-4; Is 46:8-11; 1 Peter 5:10
  34. When the Holy Spirit lives in me, He will produce self control. — Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Timothy 1:7; Titus 2:11-12
  35. I cannot run from the presence of God. I may try but will not succeed. My Father
    never loses sight of me. He will pursue me and woo me home. — Psalm 139:7-12;
    Proverbs 15:3; Is 57:15
  36. Children are a gift from the Lord. He wants to use them to spread the gospel in
    this messed up world. When I embrace children as a gift, I partner with God in
    changing that world. — Genesis 18:19; Psalm 127:3-5; 3 John 4
  37. When I receive God’s gifts to me with sincere wonder, gratitude, and humility, I’m
    free from comparing and competing. — Galatians 1:10; 2 Cor. 10:12
  38. God sees every piece and ingredient of my life and declares “mine.” My
    wholehearted, joyful response should be, “I’m Yours.” — Psalm 40:8; John 17:6, 10; Romans 14:8
  39. Following Jesus will never be easy or popular. My goal is not to be cool or
    relevant but a loyal follower of Jesus regardless of the cost. — Matthew 10:38-39; Philippians 1:20-21; Colossians 3:1-4
  40. Through His death and resurrection, Jesus conquered sin and the grave. My end
    will not be the end, and it will be wonderful. — Ephesians 1:3; Philippians 3:20-21; 2 Peter 1:4; 1 John 3:2

Leading Character

By Dan B. Allender (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Leadership is ultimately about character, no matter what your position is.
  • Our character reflects our Creator. We are made in the image of God.
  • When a leader’s failures are exposed, the easiest response is to cover with fig leaves
    and cast the blame to others.
  • Taking ownership for failures is crucial in leadership.
  • If you are too busy to pray, you should reevaluate and make time.
  • Grow in wisdom.
  • God might use our strength in the battle, but He also uses our weaknesses for His
    glory.

Leadership Lessons of Robert E. Lee

By Bil Holton (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Throughout the war, General Lee was extremely self-denying in the matter of food.
    He refused to enjoy a full course meal when his army was half-starved. — Douglas
    Southall Freeman
  • Truly involved leaders make themselves accessible instead of distancing themselves
    from the “troops” by taking up residence in ivory towers.
  • Apologies are the heart’s way of reminding the ego that everyone has value, that
    someone else besides you is important.
  • The absence of legitimate support, particularly from top management, kills as many
    companies as a musketball through the heart.
  • You cannot define best practices out of context. Of course, there are some best
    practices that work every time: truth, honesty, integrity, wisdom, sensitivity, prayer,
    encourage.
  • Today, more than ever, leaders must rise above the inertia of inaction.
  • Lee emerges as the whole person because his prewar, war and postwar career are
    totally free of contradictions: he acted like the same man under all circumstances.
    Clifford Dowdey
  • Many people are seen as leaders because of circumstantial evidence. The evidence
    referred to is: how the leader reacted to the situation, whether he/she met with
    success or failure, how direct reports felt about the experience, if mistakes were
    learned from, how decisions were made, whether responsibilities and
    accountabilities were owned and acted upon with integrity, skill, etc.
  • The great leader adapts to circumstances without complaint.
  • Leaders, as coaches, will want to develop four general, coaching competencies:
    impassioned motivator, sensitive counselor, enthusiastic sponsor, and dedicated
    educator.
  • To be effective, to be effective at all, those who assume the mantle of leadership
    must cultivate character. It is character that shines as a commanding presence. It is
    character that inspires those who follow to outperform themselves. It is character
    that makes one “awesome and complete.” It is uncompromised character that
    removes one from “common clay.”
  • One of the survival skills for managers who want to remain productive and
    responsive to performance improvement challenges is the ability to effectively
    manage civilized disagreement.
  • Since confrontation is natural, leaders must know how to minimize or eliminate
    dysfunctional in-fighting and seek constructive outcomes and lasting peace.
  • As those who are asked to lead people and manage systems through these
    turbulent, chaotic times, you must be courageous “amid darkness and storm.”
  • As leaders who navigate organizations through stormy business landscapes, refuse
    to be intimidated by naysayers. Successful leaders lay firm foundation with the bricks and blocks that are tossed unjustly in their direction. In most cases, criticisms
  • arise out of “pinched” egos.
  • So expect the heat, inspect the heat, and then listen to the critics with a grain – no, a
    particulate – of salt.
  • Any leader who knows anything about leading people, from battlefield to boardroom,
    knows this: There’s absolutely no substitute for an honest, unshakable belief in the
    performance power of discipline.
  • Data, logic, derailment assessment, and statistical analysis do not – and cannot –
    speak the same language as empathy.
  • Lee’s endurance was phenomenal. His incredible endurance was fueled by his sense
    of duty and responsibility.
  • An excuse is the line of least persistence. Indecision, followed by excuses, is nothing
    but alibi leadership. High-performance teams do not – would not even conceive of –
    including excuses as an element in the productivity process.
  • An excuse looks for alibis; responsibility seeks results.
  • We must expect reverses, even defeats. They are sent to teach us wisdom and
    prudence, to call for greater energies, and to prevent our falling into greater
    disasters. — A.L. Long
  • Managers and leaders who give their totality to work at the expense of relationships,
    particularly family ties, are paying too high a price.
  • Good leaders find the fault but share the blame.
  • Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expedience asks, is it politically correct?
    Egotism asks, would it be the popular thing to do? But integrity asks, is it the right
    thing to do?
  • Lee’s extraordinary ability to lead is legendary. Your leadership worth, your human
    worth, will be measured by your character, your attitudes, your contributions, not by
    time on the job. The ultimate testimony to your worth will not be what you have
    gotten out of your career, but what you have brought to it.
  • One of the greatest, if not the greatest compliment, any leader can receive is the
    acknowledgment of having manifested absolute and equivocal grace under fire.
  • Advice seems believable from one who stays composed and graceful under trying
    circumstances.
  • Any leader can spout the latest management theories, chant the hottest techno-
    babble, proclaimed the best budget, tight wire strategies, applaud the latest acquisitions, invest in the newest quick-fixes, and concoct sizzling market
  • projections. Only the rare leader sees the human element as the organizations, most
  • valuable asset, believes it, and shows it.
  • As a leader, if your foundation becomes shaky, it’s because your integrity is out of
    balance. Lee refused to deviate, even an inch, from the street line of integrity.
    Leaders must move beyond the illusion of integrity’s insignificance. All the great
    ones, military or civilian, use it unfailingly as a guiding principle. Honor is the throne
    of integrity. Sacrifice is the altar of honor.
  • Heart power is the strength of any organization.
  • Perfection is polished imperfection.
  • A leaders day-to-day behavior sends messages that either support or suffocate
    spirited performance.
  • Most leaders take responsibility, but the best leaders have response–ability.
  • Fundamentally, leadership competence is a function of role competence.
  • Because the moment of absolute certainty never arrives, tenacity usually takes you
    beyond the point where most people quit. Tenacity is the inner voice that whispers:
    it’s always too soon to quit.
  • Heed the voices of wisdom of those who have gone before you. No leader is born
    wise.

Lasting Impact

By Carey Nieuwhof (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • The world is better when the church is at its best.
  • Growth is healthy. But don’t go to the extreme thinking growth means you’re doing
    everything right, or the lack of growth means you’re doing everything wrong.
  • The greatest enemy of your future success is actually your current success.
  • Many leaders overthink and underact.
  • Activity does not equal accomplishment.
  • Focus on who you want to reach, not who you want to keep.
  • If you have a church that engages teenagers, it will most likely engage the church
    people as well. If your own teenagers do not want to grow, you cannot expect the
    church to want to grow.
  • If you are going to grow, you have to give it to your team leaders that will lead.
  • Identify your biggest obstacle to growth, and make a six-month plan to work on it.
  • Assigned responsibilities and accountability, then meet often to evaluate progress.
  • People admire your strengths, but they identify with your weaknesses.
  • Christian leaders can be tempted to depend more on substance than on God (food,
    entertainment, overworking, etc.).
  • In some circles, it is popular to brag about not getting enough sleep, but a leader
    needs 7–8 hours of sleep, as well as naps and downtime.
  • No one is impressed with your 20 hour workdays, not even God.
  • When it comes to trusting leadership, most people start out with suspicion, instead
    of trust. Trust is gained slowly and lost instantly.
  • Most people will not change because they like the status quo.
  • Our world is changing; history belongs to the innovators, those willing to change and
    make better.
  • You can embrace the past for improvement without erasing the past.
  • You can learn from the past without living in the past.
  • If you don’t become part of the solution, you will become part of the problem.
  • Those that are going to last the future, not only see the benefit of changing, but they
    will learn how to navigate through changes.

In-Law Relationships

By Gary Chapman (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • Relationships are built by seeking understanding, and they are torn down by
    interruptions and arguments.
  • If you greet and treat others with respect, they will be more willing to listen to your
    point of view.
  • Learn the art of respect. Respect is a major ingredient in building positive in-law
    relationships.
  • Respect allows freedom of choice. The opposite of respect is manipulation.
  • You cannot gain respect by showing disrespect.
  • Ideas should be shared as suggestions, not demands. You can respect another
    person‘s ideas without having to follow their ideas.
  • “You” statements usually start fights. Use “I” statements.
  • Negotiation is the opposite of withdrawal and resentment.
  • Grant the gift of freedom. The greatest gift that parents can give to their married
    children is freedom.
  • Don’t make your married children dependent on you. Marriage is about
    independence, not dependence.
  • You don’t build positive in-law relationships by making negative comments about
    someone else’s interests.
  • The ultimate key that unlocks the door of becoming friends with your in-laws is an
    attitude of love.
  • If you want to help your in-laws, find out what they believe is helpful instead of using
    your own judgment.
  • Genuine love is seldomly rejected, but someone must take the initiative to love.
  • If you’re going to love your in-laws, you need kindness and patience.
  • Failures call for apologies and apologies call for forgiveness.