How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less

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How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less

by Nicholas Boothman


  • Some experts have said that 15% of your financial success comes from your skills and knowledge while 85% of your financial success comes from your ability to relate to people and engender trust and respect.
  • The better you are at relating to people the better chance you will have in becoming a success.
  • First impressions set the tone for success more than class, credentials, education or what you paid for lunch.
  • We usually decide within the first two seconds of meeting someone how we will reply to him or her.
  • When people like you, they think and see the best in you; when they do not like you they think and see the worse in you.
  • It’s all in the imagination, capture a person’s imagination and you capture their heart.
  • When you meet someone, look them in the eye and smile.
    • The easiest and quickest way to connect with someone is to look at them in the eye and smile – it shows that you are interested and honored to be with them.
    • Eye contact is extremely important when talking to someone. It answers the question if you’re interested in the person, if you like what they are saying, and if you are sincere. Eye contact radiates authority.
    • Smile is a way of saying that you’re putting your best foot forward and you’re confident.
  • When you want them to feel like they have already known you, be like a Chameleon.
    • Mimic the person that you’re talking to – how they’re standing, how they look, etc. It says “we are like each other” and “we have things in common”. Show tension when they show tension and relax when they relax.
    • We like people that are like us. So smile with a smile, sit like they sit and act like they act if you are trying to connect with someone.
    • When you like someone you are saying you are like someone. Synchronize with them, become like them and you will connect with them.
    • Learn to adapt yourself to the person and situation.
  • Capture the imagination and you have captured the heart.
    • You can talk with someone’s imagination to trigger hunger, need, want, etc. The imaginations is where the emotions are.
    • What do you think will get you further, aggravation or cooperation? To get what you want from others, they have to want to help you. They’re only six ways you can get people to do things for you: by law, by emotional force, by physical force, by money, by physical beauty or by persuasion. Persuasion is the most effective and is much better. Persuasion gets faster results, is cheaper, and better.
    • In order for persuasion to be possible, you need trust, logic and emotion. To be persuasive you must communicate all of that and do it quickly.
    • KFC – Know what you’re wanting, Find out what you’re getting and Change what you’re doing in order to get it.
    • Every time you speak to a stranger, that person decides whether to run, fight or stay.
    • You’ve heard people say, “I liked him from the first time I met him”. How can this be? When you like someone, everything changes. When you like someone there’s nothing they can do wrong and when you dislike someone there’s hardly nothing they can do right.
    • Nonverbal impact is very important. At first glance, does the person look interesting or dull? Talkative or silent? Friendly or reserved? Excited or a quitter? Adventurous or careful? All of us have signals through our body language that make others judge us, whether it is right or wrong.
  • Before you meet someone, ask yourself what you want. Dress appropriately. Make sure there is nothing in your hands. Put on a smile. Look them straight in the eyes.
  • When someone has our trust, we are willing to open up more and listen.
  • Three useful attitudes that all successful leaders have in common: enthusiasm, curiosity and humility.
      • Enthusiasm comes from the Greek word meaning God flowing through. People like those who are enthusiastic.
      • Stay curious show me a person who is trying to learn more and grow and I will show you a person who is succeeding.
      • Humility – most big leaders have a big ego even though they hide it well with a public front. But humility can be consciously chosen.
  • Work your ABC – attitude, body language, confidence.
    • Attitude – people will or will not talk to you because of your attitude. We align ourselves with other people’s attitudes, we like them or dislike them because of it.
    • Body language – stand in front of the mirror and act as if you’re brave, say “you drive me crazy” and look at how your body languages. Do the same exercise acting angry, happy, humble, and calm. Your body language changes.

There are two types of body language: open and closed. Open says you are open for business and closed says get away I’m not interested.

        • Open for business is good posture, standing for someone, leaning forward, relaxed.
        • Closed body language is the opposite, hands  crossed, fist clenched, etc.
        • When you synchronize your body language to that of another, openness happens. This is the fastest way to build trust with another person. Synchronize your tone and body language. It signifies “I’m with you”, “I’m on the same page”.
    • When the three V’s (visual, vocal and verbal), it means we are being congruent. When you are congruent, your relationships become better. Use your body and your language to show that you’re interested – lean forward, moving to the side, nod your head, and smile, just make sure to give feedback and respond.
    • Well given feedback proves to someone that you’re paying attention and that what they’re saying is important.
  • Confidence – give your contact a cause and you will probably get what you want. For example, if you extend your right hand, the other person will extend their hand to shake it as well – it’s an automatic reaction. Give the person the cause and he/she will respond.
  • Everyone uses their senses to communicate – some rely more on touch, some rely on seeing and others on hearing. If you will you use whatever the person you’re talking to relies on, you will get much further. Visual people will let you know they like visuals because they talk about how they see things. Auditory people are usually choose different tones to talk to, others will rely on listening.
  • Business is about getting your ideas across to other people. Learning to motivate and help other other people see things.
  • Four types of people needed in the business: dreamers, analyzers, controllers and persuaders.
  • Tapping into people’s values is what will make them want to work or not work.
  • Open – this is the greeting. Stand up when someone walks in. Greet them
  • Eyes – eye contact is important. Be the first one to look them in the eye.
  • Smile – a great smile shows you’re confident and happy.
  • Speak – first want to say hello talk.
  • Sink – begin immediately imitating the person’s body language.

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