I was able to have breakfast with a man years ago who was married for over 63 ½ years and had just recently lost his wife. It was a great privilege and very challenging hearing this man speak of his wife and how much he loved her – I hope these 10 principles can be a blessing to you as they were to me.
1. Love her
Maybe a general statement, but as Ephesians 5 says, love her as your own body – don’t neglect, forget or ever hurt her.
Love is patient, forgiving and gives multiple chances.
Love is never failing
As Christ loved the church, the husband is to love his wife – and we shouldn’t forget that we love Him because He first loved us – so we should love our spouse first.
I once heard someone say: greatest thing you can do for your children is to love their mother, your wife.
2. Love kids she gave you
Child bearing is a very painful and difficult thing – and when a father chooses not to love or spend time with the children your wife gave birth to, you are not only saying that you don’t love the children, but also that you don’t care about the pain she went through to give birth to them.
Spend time with the children, love them.
3. Don’t discuss problems and certain things in front of children
Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for – so be careful what you talk about in front of them.
It is wise to stop the conversation, go to the bedroom or another room in moments of disagreements.
4. Kiss her every day
It cost nothing and shows affection.
You don’t get to kiss just anybody, so take advantage of the one you can kiss ☺
5. Kiss her before going to bed at night
You never know when the last night might be with your spouse, so end the day with a kiss.
6. Be kind to her
I’ve heard some say, “I love you but I don’t like you”.
Being kind proves you’re not just with your spouse because you have no other option and don’t want to divorce, being kind proves that you really are happy that you are married to your spouse.
I Corinthians 13 says that charity is kind.
7. Show her you love her
Actions speak louder than words. Words are cheap – so show your spouse you love her.
Sometimes we forget manners and get too “comfortable”, but a little romance of keeping the manners – opening doors, saying kind words, complementing, hugs, etc show and prove love.
God loved so much that he showed it – we would be wise in proving our love, showing it so there is no doubt it is true.
Time is a great way to show your love.
8. Try and get her anything she wants
We don’t have to wait until Christmas, we can buy or do things that our spouse wants now.
The majority of things that our spouses want are not things of great value – with a little creativity, time and effort, we could do or get things our spouse would like – which is a great gesture of love.
9. Tell her you love her all the time
No one expects to leave and not return to see their spouse again, but there will be a time in life that will be our last to see our spouse – make sure the words “I love you” are constantly on your lips.
It cost no money or energy to say these words, yet many times they are not said enough in a marriage.
10. Hold her or put your hand on her shoulder and talk to her
Acts, gestures, and physical touch are super important in marriage. Simply giving a hug or putting your hand are very comforting and supportive to your spouse.
Holding hands in public tells everyone, “we’re still in love”.
Hugs and just holding someone to listen to them has a great power of showing you support them, back them up and are there for them – everyone needs a cheerleader to say, “I’m on your side, you’re doing great”.
Here to Serve,
Jeff Bush