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Be The Dad She Needs You to Be

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Be The Dad She Needs You to Be

by Kevin Lehman

 

  • A home where the dad is not present will more likely be involved in drugs, illicit sex, alcohol, etc.
  • Girls especially need their dads.
  • Study each of your children and find out what they like and what makes them special.
  • No your daughters as an individuals, she is unique so treat her special.
  • If you want your daughters to live a disciplined lifestyle, you have to do so yourself.
  • If you make it a habit of shutting your daughters down, they will get back at you by doing the opposite or hurting you in someway; that’s human nature.
  • Types of parents:
    • The Authoritarian Parent – I am bigger therefore I am better. Just do what I say. The only thing that matters is what I think therefore what I think and say goes. Juvenile detention centers are full of girls who had dads who wanted it their way and always got it their way.
    • The Permissive Parent – whatever she wants she gets. I will pay your tickets, I will get you what you want, etc. but that only creates a kid who thinks that they can have everything they want and everyone around them becomes their hostage. burying your head in the sand does your children a huge disservice.
    • The Authoritative Parent – this is the parent that puts boundaries, realizing that God has given them the position. This is the parent that realizes that they are the adult year and must act like it, they must put boundaries and limits. Your daughter needs to know that there are rules and you’re going to enforce them. There are times when you must say no.
  • Daughters that have no doubt about their father’s love for them are more prepared for meeting the world.
  • Do not avoid the subject of sex, I knows teachable moments every day like to let your daughters know what it is before the world teaches them what it is. It is better that she learns from a man that she can trust them from a world she cannot trust.
  • The best thing that you can do as a father is love your wife. Be the right example.
  • The one and most important ingredient in every daughter’s life is their relationship with their father. If that is missing than every other area will suffer.
  • When a father is present in the home, it gives security, comfort and assurance to the daughter(s).
  • Forgiveness is something great that you can give to your daughter – forgive and ask forgiveness.
  • As dads, we must learn to understand her and not just trying to fix her.
  • Your daughter will end up marrying someone just like you, dad. If you’re abusive, she will very likely marry an abusive person. If you’re absent, demeaning or loving, that’s probably the type of person she will marry.
  • Allow your daughter to get disappointed – the seems the opposite of what we dads want to do or should do. If she comes home disappointed or upset about something, let her learn from that as well. Never let your daughter be abused in anyway, we are talking about her learning and times she is let down in this unfair world.
  • Instead of fixing every situation for your daughter, give her the tools in order to fix the situation herself.
  • Teach your daughters that other people do matter. If you teach your daughter to put others first, she will be fulfilled and happy. If you teach her to always put herself first, she will always be unfulfilled because someone else is prettier, better, smarter or gets their way.
  • Real men show their emotions and share their emotions.
  • Walk your talk; become the kind of man that you want your daughter to marry. Would you want your your daughter to marry someone like you? If not, than change!
  • Your daughter need your encouragement to get through life.
  • Step into your daughter’s world.
  • What your daughter thinks about herself, her role and values in this world will come from you dad.
  • Be involved in the details. For your daughter sake, get out of your comfort zone and be involved in little things that she likes.
  • Your daughter’s interest will change with her age and stages of life; and she needs you as a dad involved in each one of those.
  • Learn to connect to your daughters heart.
  • Good job – those are super powerful words that a dad should use for his daughter.
  • Our job is not to create little clones of ourselves but to help draw out the good personal characteristics of our children. Help her to become a success in life.
  • There’s a difference between praise and encouragement – praise is directed to the person and encouragement is about the activity that they did.
  • Give your daughter freedom to fail – she is not going to be the best sports player, musician, prettiest girl, etc. When a girl feels that she has failed her dad, she goes to extremes. Let her know that she is loved and admired, appreciated and cherished.
  • If you want your daughter to learn how to handle failures well, show her how you handle your own. Tell her how you messed up but it still worked out, share those goofy stories that will make her laugh and still teach her a lesson.
  • Practice saying I am sorry and say it often.
  • Learn to reveal your embarrassing moments. Everyone has them, but not everyone admits them. Be willing to share them with your daughter and family and let her know how you handled them. Young people, specifically daughters, are scared to death about being embarrassed, but when you share your story about embarrassing moments, she can laugh and her fears can be taken away. Your daughter needs to see how you handle those moments.
  • We all have the same amount of time in a day. We can spend extra time at work and make a few extra bucks or we can go home and see our daughters – they need us to be present in their lives. Dad, you are needed at home!
  • If you want something different between you and your daughter’s relationship, it is time to change now. And if there’s hardly no time in your schedule for your daughter, it is time to rearrange things in your schedule.
  • You leave a imprint on your daughter’s life, so what is your imprint going to be?
  • There are no perfect dads but there are good dads – decide to be a good dad.

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