Three Signs of a Miserable Job

The Three Signs of a Miserable Job

by Patrick Lencioni

 

  • People spend 8 hours every weekday at work and many people hate their job… what a miserable way to live!
  • Eliminating dissatisfactory at work is accomplished by finding the right job.
  • The key to a happy job is finding something that you like to do that pays the bills.
  • Being miserable affects your spouse, your children, your friends and your life. It leads to substance abuse, depression and violence at home.
  • If you enjoy your job, it will make your time working much more pleasurable.
  • A job is bound to be miserable unless you have some way to measure it. If a football player plays without knowing what the score is, he gets frustrated. The same goes for a job, it only leads to frustration and being miserable if you do not know how it is going. The best teachers want a test to see how the kids are doing.. and so we must have some measure how we are doing at our job.
  • Everyone needs to know that what they’re doing is making a difference in someone else’s life.
  • Sports players, managers, CEOs, actors and everyone else will be miserable at their job if they do not feel like they are making a difference in someone else’s life.
  • A miserable job really depends on the person – beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  • But still, there are miserable jobs; what is it that make you go home feeling zapped, that you don’t like, that sucks the energy out of you, that makes you go home frustrated or cynical?
  • But being miserable doesn’t have everything to do with the job. There are sports players that are answerable doing what they do. There are billionaires who own businesses yet hate what they do.

There are three signs that make a job miserable:

  • Anonymity – people need to know that what they do is important, it makes a difference.

1 The Three Signs of a Miserable Job Book Summary by Jerey Bush

    • Irrelevance – is what you do help someone else? You have to make the connection of what you do helping others.
    • Immeasurability – people must be able to measure how their job is going. Everyone wants to feel like they’re doing a good job, but if they are not getting feedback that they become frustrated. Even though we know this, most managers do not give good feedback to their employees.
  • People that work there jobs having more fulfillment will do their job more effectively. They will arrive earlier, stay later work harder because their job brings fulfillment.
  • A manager should take genuine interest in his employees lives. People want to be managed as people, not as mere workers.
  • Human beings need to be needed. Everyone wants to feel that they are needed making a difference.
  • Managers often forget that workers have their own sense of what to feel satisfied and their job. Worker is not just want to do whatever the manager wants, he also as a person that wants to feel like what he does matters and makes a difference.
  • Great athletes don’t try to make a goal or score a touchdown just because it would look better on their contract, they do it because it gives them a sense of fulfillment. Every person must in someway measure their fulfillment.

The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage

The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage: Transforming Insights from ...

The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage

by Jim Daily

 

This is a compilation of different author’s opinions on marriage. It was put together by Focus on the Family.

An open heart is of big importance for a good marriage.

The heart of spouse must be open and will only open up when spouse feels safe.

True intimacy is open hearts.

Recognize your spouse’s value.

Write down a list of the reasons why you value your spouse, and then express it to your spouse. Write a list of “I love you because…”

A successful marriage requires you to fall in love with the same person over and over again.

  • Keep your Commitment to your Commitment — Ken Blanchard Years from now you should love your spouse more than you do now. Remember your commitment.

Do you want your relationship to work? It’s a commitment if so. Marriage works when you have two “yes’” to that commitment.

You should be able to write down “What I love about you is…” and “Why I choose to spend the rest of my life with you is…”

  • Make Love a Verb — Andy Stanley

Falling in love is easy but staying in love is hard.

When the going gets tough many just go.

We treat love like a noun, something that happened, not is happening. Love is

not a one time thing.

It takes a plan.

Falling in love requires only a heart beat but staying in love requires a commitment.

We know how to fall in love but most do not know how to stay in love.

Key to staying in love is respect, respect, respect.

We are to guard our hearts (Prov. 4:23)

Think before you speak.

Pay close attention to your heart.

We have fairy tale beliefs about marriage.

Believe the best, don’t think the worse.

Nothing speaks more of our Christian life like our marriage

3. My Heavenly Father-in-law — Gary Thomas

Your wife isn’t just your wife, she is God’s daughter.

Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about God. You can’t treat a girl wrong and

expect a father to be good with that.

I Peter 3:7

If someone was treating your kids bad, you wouldn’t be happy taking to that person.

God wants His children to be loved

We love because He first loved us.

Is how you treated your spouse last week the way you would want someone to treat your child?

4. Practice non-random Acts of Kindness — Paul & Teri Reisser

All of us are selfish creatures by nature and rather to be served than serve. Do small things to show love, whether making bed, changing toilet paper roll, making the coffee, etc.

be intentional about serving your spouse.

5. Lighten up and Laugh — Ted Cunningham

Laughter is a beautiful thing. You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh and you can’t hate someone with whom you laugh. God wants you to enjoy marriage.

Life is a grime. Age, money or nothing else will get us out of the grime. Death is the only thing that ends the grime. But in the midst of the grime, we are to enjoy life. We can’t get out of the grime but we can choose joy during life.

Your wife was not put in your life to make life miserable, it can be enjoyable.

Proverbs 17:22. Go and enjoy life with your spouse.

6. Be your Partner’s Best Friend — Les & Leslie Parrot

It’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that kills a marriage.

70% of happiness in marriage could be attributed to friendship in marriage.

Friends choose to serve each other.

Study what makes your spouse laugh.

Add more laughter to your relationship.

Good friends protect each other. We all have bad moments but good friends have the other’s back.

We shouldn’t take for granted the friendship of our spouse.

  • Communicate how much your Spouse Means to You — H.B. London Never go to bed mad at each other.

Deal with your issues as they happen or they’ll only get worse. Never assume

Most don’t know how to say what needs to be said.

We fail to express our love & we take each other for granted. Never, never stop listening

Affairs occur when a spouse doesn’t fulfill the needs of the other. Don’t avoid the real issues.

Hostility and criticism can kill your spouse’s love. Don’t make the other feel cheap or useless. Don’t give up

It takes a lifetime of commitment. Pray for your spouse.

Love that communicates is love that doesn’t fail.

  • Stop, Drop and Roll — Dewey Wilson

What people see on the outside is not always what is on the inside.

Your marriage didn’t go south over night, but you can still turn it around.

Before change occurs, it must make sense.

  • Stop — when you think of old thoughts or something that will only cause problems, stop! 2 Cor. 10:4 — we have power to stop those thoughts.
  • Drop — to your knees in prayer asking God to help.
  • Roll — change the negative thoughts, words or actions into positive ones.

Become a student of your spouse.

Your attitude will determine your response.

God wants to do a work in you so let him.

9. The Art of Affirmation — Joni Eareckson Tada

The Bible teaches that the tongue has incredible power. With your tongue, you can pull down or be the best cheerleader.

Commend your spouse when you see the good in them.

Practice affirmation. Those words are to your spouse what water is to your flowerbeds.

Write a note of encouragement or say something but your words can change the countenance and heart of your spouse.

  • Ask Older Couples what Works for Them — Bill & Pam Farrel Get real advice by real people.

Conflict is normal for couples. Forgive quickly.

Three is better than two, Jesus can make you have a great marriage. Seek out marriage by older and experienced, good people.

  • Nine Words that have Helped us Stay Married — Bob Waliszewski Determine there are certain things that you won’t say in marriage — divorce Failed expectations — life is not only about you

Differing view points — about little silly things

The marital reset button — walk or take time to breathe but don’t leave each other.

What works for us — decide that you will not You’re not always right.

Don’t keep score

Avoid the silent treatment

Stay away from words like “always” and “never”

Don’t threaten your spouse with divorce or separation.

  • Grow as a Couple and as Individuals — Frank Pastore

The measure of a man’s ministry is his marriage.

God doesn’t call you to be a single servant rather to work together as a couple. You need friends that can help enrich your life and marriage. We need couples that we can learn from and fellowship with.

13. Putting Sex on the Calendar — Jill Savage

Plan and calendar sex and write it down in code. Doesn’t always have to be spontaneous.

It eliminates the asking or begging for sex.

It increases desire. The brain is the largest sexual component.

It increases anticipation. We can plan time together.

It allows for planning.

It helps couples prepare both mentally and physically.

It helps build trust.

While sex is good spontaneously, putting it on the calendar works as well.

4 The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jerey Bush

14. Attitude is a Choice — Stormie Omartian

The Holy Spirit doesn’t make us have fruit, we have to choose to have fruit.

We choose our attitude.

You can decide not to be bitter, not get upset, etc.

15. Deliberately Seek the Lord – Phil & Heather Joel

Is the form of Christianity we live what it should be?

Decide to read the Bible and get close to the Lord. As you get close to the Lord,

you can and will grow in marriage.

Prayer changes everything.

Oneness in marriage with God is a decision and one that will change you and your marriage. It is the key.

As a man’s relationship is with God, so will the marriage be.

16. Believe your Spouse wants your Best – Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn

When you grasp that your spouse wants the best for you will change your

marriage. If you think your spouse wants to hurt you, you will have a bad

marriage.

Believing spouse wants the best for you will not only solve many problems but will also avoid many problems.

What do you assume about your spouse?

Replace your thoughts with positive ones. What can be a positive reason that you’re spouse did what he/she did? Take your thoughts captive. Decide and assume that your spouse wants the best for you. Learn the truth about your spouse.

Let your understanding change your marriage.

  • The Power of Taking a Time-Out – Michael & Amy Smalley Learn to react instead of respond.

Reacting is launching out immediately upon our emotions; responding is thinking before you take action.

James 1:19-20

Taking a timeout is not just for kids. When you get upset, you should take a time out. Avoiding something is just walking away from it, but taking a timeout is getting away from each other to think through it and then return back later to discuss it.

When you get alone and pray about it, the Holy Spirit may reveal to you that your attitude or actions are not pleasing to Him.

  • The Convicting Question that Changed our Marriage – Lee Strobel Ask yourself the question, how would you like to be married to you? Willpower does not change a man and time does not change man, only Christ changes men.

Matthew 7:1 – Look at your own faults instead of judging your spouse. Do not be conflict avoiders, become conflict facers.

Learn to listen – James 1:19

The Art of Speaking: Lessons From the Greatest Speeches in History

Amazon.com: The Art of Public Speaking: Lessons from the Greatest ...

The Art of Speaking:

Lessons From the Greatest Speeches in History

by John R. Hale

 

 

1. Overcome Obstacles

Public speaking can turn a commoner into a great orator. Everyone should work at being a better public speaker.

We must get over stage fright, which is nothing more than fear.

Getting somewhere early and visualizing yourself speaking there can rid of much of your stage fright.

Write your speech down so that if you get scared and nervous you have somewhere to look to and remember.

Practice and practice what you’re going to say.

Don’t expect your speech to be perfect or succeed the very first time.

Make up your mind that you will overcome.

Work on training and getting better.

2. Practice your Delivery

The way that you use your voice and body in the speech is very important. Cross training – running up the hill or jogging while trying to speak so you can still get your idea across clearly is helpful. Study actors.

Tone of voice, stance, body gestures, the way you move your body and your hands, etc. are important with actors… and is important in giving a speech. Your impression on the audience is going to be made by the way you use your voice and hands more than just the words that you use.

When Patrick Henry gave his famous speech on “give me liberty or give me death”, he had to convince Virginia to get behind him for the war. It was the repeated phrases and words, the tone of his voice, and the theatrical style of the speech that got to the people more than just the mere words he said.

Volume, pitch, silence, pause, inflection of words, accent of where to put the voice, etc., You must decide how you’re going to use your words and your speech.

Pitch – you cannot stay only on a high tone or only on a low tone, you must use variety. Monotone becomes very annoying.

Music can help you learn how to use your pitch — sometimes low, sometimes strong, have a crescendo and work up to it.

Your body language is important, and one of the most important parts on your body is your eye – you must use your eyes correctly. If you are looking straight into someone’s eyes, it is very difficult for them to look away, therefore you can speak directly to them. Find people in your audience that are nodding or smiling

and look to them to keep on track with your speech. But work on making everyone in the audience feel like you were looking at them, not just one person. Stand up straight, don’t slouch or crouch. Use your hands or movements to emphasize something, but don’t make it look fake.

A smile will show that you’re happy and make your audience feel at ease.

Don’t forget that you need to use your entire body and your entire vocal chords in your speech.

3. Be your Self

Be yourself and let your audience know who you are. Don’t be someone that you’re not.

You’re wanting people to know who you are and to believe in the same cause that you believe in. Opening up to people both in public speaking and private life is the way to get people on your side.

Do not be afraid to share with others your weaknesses.

You can use things from your own life to help people understand.

We all want the feeling of authenticity and sharing about your own life’s experiences, failures, etc., will do just that.

Why should people listen to you about the subject? Give them a reason.

Your story about how you failed or made mistakes may cause some laugh and will show everyone that you are not perfect and can relate to them.

You might have good points and truth in your speech, but what moves people are your personal stories and what happened to you.

Explain your personal connection with the audience – figure out that common ground with them.

Share your own emotions and do not shy away from sharing your failures and weaknesses.

Establish a personal link with your listeners at the very beginning.

Use plain language when talking to your people, but never talk down to them.

Always make sure your audience can hear you.

4. Find your Humorous Voice

Telling jokes to an audience can be like a minefield, you do not know who you’re going to upset or offend and who you will make laugh. You must be cautious when telling a joke.

The first laugh a audience should receive is about the speaker himself. Never laugh at anybody before laughing at yourself first. Every laugh can help with a point

A laugh should come naturally out of the subject you’re speaking about.

Comedy helps relax your audience.

Use humor to focus on your theme not to distract from it.

Jokes can illuminate thoughts if used correctly.

Humor can illuminate your personality so make sure the jokes come from your personality.

Once you hear laughter, you know that they are with you for the rest of the time.

5. Make it a Story

Learn to compose a story.

There’s substance of speech and there are facts about the subject so research and do not just make things up.

Human brain is designed to remember stories. Facts are not necessarily memorable but you can make them attached to stories so that they will. If you do so, it will be easier for you to remember your speech easier for others to follow along and remember.

Decorate your speech with little antidotes.

When people asked Jesus about who their neighbor is, he responded by using a story – the good Samaritan.

A story should be personal, have details and be specific to follow along with.

The story will hold people’s interest and will also teach a great lesson.

You may sweat to find the perfect story for your speech, but it will be worth it.

Before you share the story, make sure they understand the point of the story so

they don’t get drowned in the story.

Include vivid details in the story.

Anticipate the audience’s questions and provide the answers within your speech. When you tell a story both you and can your audience can relax and you can look them in the eyes and they will follow you.

6. Use the Power of Three

Every story has three parts: introduction, body and conclusion.

Our minds were made to think in threes – 2 of something feels incomplete but 3 seems to satisfy the mind.

The conclusion of the speech should be a climax, not just a reference to what you said before.

Universal consciousness works in threes. Three tasks, three people, etc.

Construct your speech in three parts – intro, body, conclusion. Use adjectives

and other structures and threes.

There’s a power using groups of three.

7. Build a Logical Case

Build a logical case at the beginning and prove a point at the end. This works whether political, religious, business, etc.

Start with an axiom (a statement or proposition that is regarded as being established, accepted, or self-evidently true).

You do not want to insult an audience, be courteous and treat them with respect.

Prove that all of the information you’re presenting is something that you and your audience agree on.

Use logic so that people will buy into what you are talking about. If you do not prove that it is logical, people will not be with you on your subject.

Use clear, concise, but neutral reasoning when presenting your speech.

Avoid emotional and argumentative appeals.

Base your points on axiom, truths that everyone agrees on.

Focus on proving a single point, stay away from the fighting issues.

Be strong, clear about what you believe, but still be courteous.

Check and double-check that all of your facts are really true.

8. Paint Pictures in Words

Give people a picture or metaphor of what you’re talking about.

Images make you focus.

Use metaphors to help people.

Don’t mix your metaphors and make sure they are appropriate for the occasion.

Use Excitement and Dialogue in your speech.

It’s the mental pictures that you use that will help people understand and help people remember long after you quit talking.

9. Focus on your Audience

You have prepared your speech, now it is time to get out there and face the audience.

Address everyone in the audience.

Your tone is important.

Look for common ground with your listeners that will show you are interested in them.

Always be courteous, sympathetic, and mindful of their comfort.

10. Share a Vision

The speech needs a principal tone just as it needs a key thought.

Use I have a dream (Martin Luther King speech) as an example speech.

You want to motivate people as a result of sharing your vision with them.

Inspiration is sharing with others that which is inside of you.

By use a song lyric, a known quote, fact from history or truth that everybody believes, you can strengthen your speech.

Do not use negatives to try to create a positive.

Relentless positivism makes people want to be with you no matter what the speech is.

Alliterated repetitive-ism can be very useful.

Stir up a positive feelings in a people and send them away with a renewed outlook.

Maintain eye contact with your audience and maintain energy. Use pauses. You do not have to use your own words, you can bring in the best of others and it will make your speech more impactful.

11. Change Minds and Hearts

You may not be able to change other people’s opinions, but there are certain things that you could do to change their fundamental attitude. First connect on the level with the audience.

Learn to praise the people, but make it personal and sincere.

Use props to reinforce your speech — holding something up while you’re speaking is very powerful. But avoid passing something out while you’re speaking because it sidetracks.

Be courteous even speaking about your opponents and your audience may shift there thoughts towards yours.

Pace yourself to keep your audience with you when you are in a discussion.

Focus on concrete points not on abstractions.

12. Call for Positive Action

If you have a systematic way of structuring your speech and everyone knows it, change those patterns and switch things up. Break up with the element of surprise.

Repeat words or phrases.

Have a clear call of action at the end of your speech so that people will know exactly what you want them to do or how to feel.

No part of the speech can have a greater impact on the audience than the last words that you speak. So you must carefully craft your ending. You must think about the end of your speech.

Not only should your words be strong at the end of your speech, but you should deliver them strong.

Just like a diver cannot make a splash with the end of his feet or he will be subtracted points by the judge, so the last point of a speech must be crisp and clear to his audience without a messy splash.

People have waited for the speech, so for sake of your audience be crystal clear and finish strong.

Endings are more important in public speaking than beginnings.

Establish unity between you and the people – use more “we” and not so much “I” or “you”.

The Advantage

The Advantage

By Patrick Lencioni

– The greatest thing that any organization can achieve is organizational health.

– The health of an organization will determine size, financial ability and every other facet about an organization. Health is much more important than the name, talent or gain of an organization house.

– Organizational health does not require any great intelligence rather discipline, commitment and commonsense.

– Most people live on an adrenaline rush so it is very hard for them to get organized. But organizational health is like the old race car saying: you have to slowdown to go faster.

– The success of the company has little to do with how smart or how dumb one is, it has almost everything to do with how healthy they are.

– What does an organization have to do to become healthy:

1. Build a Cohesive Leadership Team

• If an organization is led by a team that is not cohesive, there’s no way it can be healthy.

• If a parent has spouse relationship problems, the family will probably have problems as well – and so it is with an organization.

• Teamwork at the very top is critical.

• Teamwork is not a virtue, it is a choice and a real one.

A. Trust – members of a cohesive team must trust each other.

Vulnerable enough to show weaknesses and tell the truth.

Personal history – Find out who every person really is.

Profiling – everyone has strengths and weaknesses and they must be determined.

If the leader is not going to be vulnerable, the team members will not be either.

B. The mastery of conflict – we cannot and should not run from conflict, we should learn to lead and accept healthy conflict.

Avoiding conflict can result in artificial harmony of the group or it can fester and bring bigger problems later.

• Keep each other accountable.

Not holding people accountable is selfishness – many times think we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but holding people accountable is the best thing we can do for them. Great leaders and great team players confront each other about things before it’s too late.

• Great leaders try to help everyone do their job to make the team better.

• The leadership team should be small enough to be effective.

• A cohesive team must have the teams best in mind, not just their own section.

2. Create Clarity

• Why do we exist? Understand the fundamental reason why your organization was founded and exist. If the company does not benefit people in some area, they will and should decease to exist.

• A purpose statement should be true, not just something that looks good on paper. Find out why the organization was started and for what purpose.

• How do we behave? How do we exist? What do we do?

• If you don’t say anything because you’re waiting for the perfect plan, people will become frustrated and fail.

• You must have a strategy.

• If everything is important, than nothing is.

• You must have goals and you must put priority on the goals – somethings are more important than others.

• The team must agree on what goals must be accomplished within a certain amount of time in order to be successful in the organization. For example: what must be accomplished in order to say that you did your job at the end of the year.

• If you can accomplish only one goal in the next nine months but what would it be?

• Without clarity of who does what on a team, little will be done and there will be a lot of inner fighting.

• Regardless of how clear written-out responsibilities are on the team, they should always be explained so that workers understand and have it clear in their mind.

3. Over-Communicate Clarity

• There’s no such thing as too much communication.

• Over communicate clarity – over and over and over and over again.

• Employers do not believe what is communicated to them until they have heard it 7 times. People in general are skeptical of what they hear unless they hear repeatedly.

• The message should be repeated for clarification and for emphasis. It should be given in a timely manner – not before someone runs out the door to leave or on break, etc. It needs to be done in person, not just through an email. • Can the employees easily articulate the goals and plans of the organization?

• If there’s not clarity in the leadership, there certainly will not be amongst the employees.

4. Reinforce Clarity

• Every process and every activity should be done to show the clarity.

• Hire the right people – it is a shame that the hiring process is taken so flippantly in many organizations.

• Orientation – the first week or month someone works at a job, they should learn the values and importance of the job.

• Feedback – employees should receive feedback in every area or they will never be able to perform as expected. Healthy organizations realize that in order for there employees to succeed, they must receive good and constant feedback.

• Compensation and re-wards – honoring those who excel in their jobs.

• Recognition – Direct and personal recognition. A leader who does not recognize his people for a job well done, might as well be telling them that they are not doing a good job.

• Meetings – You must have meetings to explain and discuss things.

A meeting should not have too much information and should not be too long.

– There are different types of meetings, but more meetings with the team is better than less meetings with the team. A daily meeting of 10 minutes, a weekly meeting and a monthly meeting are all important.

• If you can get away for a few days with the team, you can build cohesiveness amongst the team. Building a healthy team is like building a marriage, it’s not a one-time thing rather a constant working at it.

Sacred Marriage

Sacred Marriage

by Gary Thomas

 

  • If you get a good wife you’ll be happy, if you get a bad wife you’ll become a philosopher – Socrates.
  • We can run from the challenges in marriage or we can face them.
  • Marriage life calls us into a new commitment of responsibilities.
  • There’s a lot of selfishness built in each of us that marriage will draw out.
  • Your spouse cannot give you ultimate fulfillment, that must come from God. Yes you have wonderful times together and she makes you happy, but true fulfillment can only come from God.
  • Marriage is temporary. Our relationship with God will outlive our relationship with our spouse. So a Christian marriage can find true fulfillment because both of the spouses know God.
  • Only God can fulfill us ultimately. We are wrong to look into fulfillment with other humans because they cannot provide that, that comes from God.
  • Spiritual growth is the main thing, good marriage will come as a result of it.
  • Our first goal in marriage must be what pleases God. That takes away all selfish desires of what pleases me or what I want. So I must die to myself daily.
  • Putting God first in marriage will allow you to see your wife in a different aspect.
  • When our marriages do not please Christ, they will become roadblocks instead of examples of what the Christian life is about.
  • The first reason to keep your marriage together is for Christ. It is your Christian duty well before any outward appearance or physical aspect.
  • If just one reason a Christian should stay with their spouse, it is because Christ commands us.
  • If a man does not love his wife, it is not his wife’s fault rather his. If he says he never loved his wife than he is admitting that he never acted like a Christian.
  • Christ tells us that we are to love even our enemies. We are to love those that cannot pay us back or love us back – Luke 14.
  • Marriage should be so much easier to love because God did not force us to get married, we chose to. So if we could not love our partner, how can we love others?
  • Allow your marriage to stretch your love and make you a better Christian.
  • To fail to love your wife in order to love others is a sham.
  • I John 4:20-21 – if we cannot love our brother, we cannot say that we love God.
  • You have to understand that your spouse to respect her and you have to respect her to love her.
  • We all want to get respect, but we are supposed to give respect.
  • You must be broken before you can fully understand.
  • Honor not expressed is not honor.
  • Respect is a spiritual discipline as well as an obligation I owe to my wife.
  • A good marriage is not just knowing each other but first knowing God.
  • If you want to be closer to God, you must learn to pray; and if you want to have your prayers heard, you must have the right relationship with your wife (I Peter 3:7).
  • Our marriage conflicts are a hindrance to our prayers. God hates dissension (Proverbs 6:19) and when there are those dissensions in marriage, it affects more than just our marriage, it affects our relationship with our God. Dissension is a major prayer killer.
  • Being in a marriage relationship shows me where I fall short.
  • When marriage satisfaction pokes its head up, it’s time to get your own heart right on track.
  • When we are unsatisfied in marriage, we don’t need to change our partner rather ourselves. We need to change and have the power to change.
  • Sin will lead to self-destruction if we allow it to.
  • Unresolved conflict leads to break-up and break-up leads to to severe pain.
  • You must be careful about asking the dangerous question of “did I marry the right person”. Once you’re married, your spouse at that point is the right person.
  • Most of the people that end their marriage do so because it is too tough – but suffering in hard times are part of the Christian life. We must learn to get through hard times and not give up on them.
  • Struggles make us strong, but only when we work through them and not run from them.
  • God does not save us from all our problems but he does help us through all our problems. Maybe it is time to get down on our knees and pray for his help. You have the opportunity to excel in character and Christian growth.
  • A good marriage is not something that you find, it is something that you work for.
  • You must learn to forgive and practice it.
  • Don’t run from the struggles of marriage, embrace them. They can help you become a greater Christian if you seek God’s help because of them.
  • We cannot control how our spouse acts or how the world acts, but we can control how we act and respond.
  • Look at your marriage from a different perspective: am I learning? Is it causing me to grow? What does God want to teach me?
  • Look at your marriage through the lens of eternity – how does that shape you more like our Savior.
  • The average married couple only communicates about 27 minutes a week.
  • Falls in our marriage are inevitable, but we can choose which way we want to fall – towards our spouse or away from our spouse. Decide that falls (struggles) will push you towards your spouse and not away from her.
  • You have a Biblical obligation to draw closer to your spouse. Just as in the Christian life, not hating does not mean that you love, it may mean apathy… And so it is in a marriage. Do not be apathetic, grow closer towards your spouse.
  • Marriage based on romanticism is based on selfishness, but marriage based on Jesus Christ is based with our eyes placed on him and dying to self.
  • Because no one is without sin, the person you married will eventually hurt you. So we must learn to forgive.
  • Forgiveness is a horribly difficult. It is not a choice of one time but a continual process.
  • All of us face failures in marriage because we live with a person who fails just like we do. But we can turn that bitter juice into a sweet honey when we discipline ourselves in the Lord.
  • Marriage can teach us to forgive.
  • Marriage can teach us to serve.
  • Christ loved the church by giving up his life for it – this is how a husband should love his wife.
  • Sacrifice is not sacrifice unless it cost us something. What are we doing each day to sacrifice for our wives? What do we do that cost us something? Do we seek to emulate our Savior or want to be selfish and receive for ourselves?
  • God has called you to the service of people whether they are worthy of your service or not. It’s not yours to determine if someone is worthy of your love and service or not. You love and serve because that is how you serve our God. God is always worthy to be obeyed — and serving your spouse is in obedience to God.
  • The depth of marriage must be more than just lovers. You and your wife are brother and sister in Christ. That outlives the short time on this earth.
  • We can train ourselves to desire what we want to desire.
  • We must learn to control our tongue. There are two kinds of evils with the tongue:                                                 1) is speaking evil things and 2) not saying good things.
  • Silence in marriage will only hurt your marriage.
  • We love God so we listen to God. Love speaks and love listens. By our words, we draw further or closer to our God and to others.
  • When our hearts grow cold towards God, other relationships suffer as well. Your wife can be literally your God-thermometer.
  • Confession is good. Not because we have to confess to another human, but our confession makes us take whatever offense more seriously.
  • Building a family is not a side occupation, it takes a enormous time, strength and effort.
  • A Christian man might be tempted to neglect his marriage responsibilities for God’s work, but this is not right. We made a certain promise to our spouse when we got married. We cannot neglect the one we promised to and think that we are doing God’s work.
  • It is one thing to do the right thing but is a whole other ordeal to do the right thing with the right spirit.
  • It is true that marriage limits the things that we can do, but it also multiplies the effects that we can have.
  • In marriage we must view ourselves as “we” instead of “I”.
  • A selfish marriage is a hollow marriage.
  • The love we have for God and the love we have for others are not two distinct things, they are two parts of the same thing.
  • We should work on becoming holy individuals as well as a holy couple.

Running with the Giants

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Running with the Giants

by John Maxwell

 

Just as Hebrews 12 tells us that there are a great cloud of witnesses around us, so we have people who encourage today. We can look at the lives of the path past and receive encouragement from them.

  • Noah

His righteousness save humanity from extinction.

Five ways that we can make a difference:

    • We can make a difference for our family. Disobedience did not save just Noah, it saved all of his family – Genesis 7. Those closest to you benefit the most when you do right.
    • We can make a difference for God’s creation.
    • We can make a difference for future generations. Our actions can help those that come behind us. Earth’s inhabitants are still receiving the benefits because of Noah’s obedience.
    • We can make a difference for God. God is always looking for someone who will stand in the gap for him.
    • You can make a difference at any age. There are no limitations with God; not being out of money, education or anything difficult for Him. Noah was 600 years old when he entered into the ark.

Noah teaches us that it is ok to standalone, not to be afraid of it.

Noah teaches us not to be afraid of doing something for the first time. He had never seen rain nor had built a boat. Don’t allow the words “it has never been done” make you not serve God.

Noah teaches us that when we see a rainbow we should realize that one person can make a difference

  • Esther

God has a place for you.

Esther grew up without living with her parents and in a foreign land. But she encourages us that no place is out of place when God is with you.

Mordecai’s word to her that she had come to the palace for such a time as this changed her.

Esther reminds us that there may be a period of time in which we do not understand God’s purpose for us, but still continue.

Esther teaches us that taking a risk is not so hard if God is on your side.

  • Joseph

The time between the birth of a dream and when it happens could be a long time.

Joseph teaches us that we do not have to give up on a dream even if we did not start well. Joseph had his dream at 17 years old, but even though it did not go well with him he still continued. Many people have a dream and when it gets hard they give up.

Don’t give up on your dreams even when your family does not support it.

Don’t give up on your dream even if it is full of surprises. After Joseph had his dream, he was misunderstood, sold into slavery to, lied about, forgotten, etc.

Every time Joseph found himself in a give-up position, he realized the Lord was with him and that is what kept him going.

23 years had past from the time that Joseph had his dream until it was fulfilled. You never know what God’s timetable looks like.

When other people knock you down don’t complain because it does no good. Suffering in hard times can make you better.

Joseph teaches us that self-promotion can never replace divine promotion. The only advance that matters is the one that God gives.

God is the God of every perfect gift and fulfills dreams.

  • Moses

Moses teaches us to live in the faith zone not the safe zone.

Moses had to overcome his past in order to move into the faith zone.

Moses ran to the desert and soon that desert become a safe place for him. He took a wife took a position in the family business. His life was set and safe.

Moses overcame the insecurity of his future. God spoke to Moses at the burning bush and told him to go back to Egypt. Moses felt totally incapable and began to show his insecurities. Moses raised many objections to God’s plan but God always had a response.

Moses teaches us that we do not naturally leave the safe zone. He did not want to leave each step and then after leaving became comfortable in the desert and did not want to leave there.

Growth begins when we leave the safe zone. Just because we do not want to do something does not mean that we should not do something.

If you want to grow, you may need to go.

Defeat tomorrow’s regrets by leaving the safe zone today.

  • Rebecca

Give generously to others.

She was asked for water and gave it to the man and then gave water to his camels. She did not know that her generous that was to none else then Abrahams servant.

Giving water to a stranger is one thing, but to his camels that drink 20 gallons each is a whole other thing.

Sadly many individuals do only what they are required and nothing more. We want to do minimum effort and receive maximum payment.

You can’t be generous if you’re going to keep score.

You can’t go the 2nd mile unless you’re willing to go the 1st mile. If you’re not being generous now, you will not be so in the future.

Extra blessings result in extra effort.

When we give generously we can know that we will receive more than we ever deserved. We set the standard of what we will receive when we give. Give what you can, you have no idea what God is going to give you in return.

When we give, the impact of our giving will outlive us. What would our lives look like if Moses said I don’t do rivers or Noah said I don’t do boats or John the Baptist said I don’t do baptisms or Mary said I don’t do virgin births. Generous giving will outlive us.

  • Abraham

Abraham was a friend of God.

Abraham teaches us that God always does the right thing, that God is always faithful.

It may take longer time than we anticipate for something to come to pass, but when God says something he keeps his promise.

Abraham became inpatient even after God had given him the promise.

God’s ways and sense of time is not like ours. God always does what is right and he always comes through.

God keeps his promise even if it seems absurd to us. God told Abraham he would have a child when he was 90 years old and Sarah laughed. How could this happen? Why did God wait so long?

God always does the right thing even if we question it. Abraham teaches us that God is not only righteous, but he is also right.

God always does the right thing even if we do not understand. God asked Abraham to kill his only son, why would he do that?

Abraham teaches us that perfection is not a prerequisite for God to work in our lives. Abraham teaches us that God’s blessings are not always merited.

God can take the ordinary extraordinary

  • Nehemiah

No problem is too big that God cannot help.

We should ask for help before the problem is too big for us. When a problem is big, we should not get discouraged, we should get help.

We should get help when the problem becomes personal.

We should ask others for help after we have shared the problem with God. When Nehemiah heard of the problem, the first thing he did was talk to God. We should not carry the problems ourselves, talk to God.

We should ask others for help when we are willing to do our part. We should not try to take all of the load, but we should not try to get out of caring any of the load either.

We should ask others for help but we have a clear sense of the vision.

We should ask others for help when people repeatedly oppose us. Over and over others try to stop Nehemiah from his work. Motion causes friction. When God’s people try to move forward, the enemy attacks heavier.

It’s not always easy to ask for help, but don’t let fear or insecurities stop you from asking for help.

Not everyone will want to help, but some want to and will help. Sometimes we don’t need a miracle to do something, we just need others. We can run the race well, but we can not do it alone.

We are not meant to run this race alone.

  • The servant of the house of Naaman

One small act can make all the difference.

The Bible only mentions her once, but this little girl spoke up about her God and what could be done while everyone else was in fear.

Naaman was a mighty man, everyone knew the man and he was very powerful, but this girl was not afraid to speak up. She spoke as if she did not fear although this could’ve got her in trouble. She could’ve played it safe and kept her mouth shut, but she did not.

She acted even though she was small. Many times we disregard what we can do because of personal limitations. She was a young girl in a masculine society, she was a child, she was a servant and she was a foreigner, but this did not stop her. She acted even though what she could do was small. They had tried everything to heal him undoubtedly, what could she say that would change their mind. She could not heal him, she could only suggest, but she did not let the insignificance of that stop her.

She acted even though the stakes were not small. He could have punished her harshly for speaking.

One small person doing one little act changed his life.

Not only was his skin changed, his faith was changed as well.

If you want to make a difference, have confidence – she believed that the man of God in her country could heal him.

If you want to make a difference, be credible – she was a servant but evidently did a good job or they would not have listen to her. People look more at your life than they listen to your words.

If you want to make a big difference, speak to people’s need – when people can’t help, help them.

If you want to make a difference, do something no matter how small it is

  • King David

His father did not see his potential – even when the man of God came, he left David in the field assuming because most likely, he probably assumed, David would not be the chosen one.

David’s brothers did not think he had potential – David went to visit them at the battlefield, they tried to shut him up.

King Saul did not think that he had to potential – Saul said he could not go because he was just a youth and Goliath was a warrior from his youth.

Goliath did not believe that David had potential – when he came out against him, Goliath laughed and mocked him.

David did not let all of these obstacles stop him.

David teaches us that limitations do not stop us unless we let them. David realized he had the most potential because he had God potential.

David teaches us that we do not need to try to be someone else – when Saul gave him his armor, David said he could not use it and went to battle with what he had.

David teaches us to focus on what we can do with God not what we cannot do.

  • Jonathan

Jonathan was a kingmaker. Jonathan did not put David down, he lifted him up and strengthened him. His father, Saul, wanted to kill David.

Jonathan saw the big picture. Instead of wanting the kingdom for himself, he saw David with potential and worked at helping him.

Jonathan knew that helping David would further the kingdom more than anything else.

Jonathan gave up his own desires and visions of the throne in order to help someone else.

Jonathan teaches us the only when we see the important thing will we do the unimportant thing. Jonathan served David

Remember, it takes a lot of kingmakers to make a king.

You must decide with people if you’re going to help them or hurt them. What would have happened if Saul would’ve helped David, but he did not… yet Jonathan did.

As a supporter, you share in your leader’s success. As Jonathan helped his friend David, he served God. You do not have to be on the front lines in order to make an impact, you can do it right where you are by helping someone else.

The greatest need leaders lack is to have a Jonathan beside him. We do not have to wait in order to help others, we can do it right now.

Outliers

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Outliers

by Malcolm Gladwell

 

  • This book is about outliers, people who stand out exceptionally well from everyone else. But the book proves that these “geniuses” do not standout as a result of their own talent, ability or knowledge.
  • So the people who stand out that we think are the greatest, are really ordinary people who have had circumstances, environments and legacies that have played a big part in getting them to where they are.
  • Being at the right place at the right time and with the right advantages around you can change everything.
  • Outliers are people who do things out of the ordinary.
  • People don’t rise from nothing, they are the beneficiaries of parents and others working in investing in their lives.
  • It is not a question of what successful people are like rather what makes them succeed.
  • Success many times comes from those with more advantage.
  • Student who play instruments better than others have practiced more hours than others.
  • In a study they found that elite music performers practice over 10,000 hours whereas the good performers practice 8,000 hours and the mediocre performers only practiced 4,000 hours.
  • It was said that the big difference for those good enough to get into the famous school of music was how much they practiced – the good practiced a lot, but the best practiced much much more.
  • It is said that 10,000 hours is the magical number for those who want to be an expert in any area. And in study after study of sports players, musicians, chess players, master criminals, etc., this number comes up again and again confirming it’s validity.
  • This number is equivalent to three hours a day for 20 hours a week over a course of 10 years.
  • At one point, Bill Gates was going so much to the computer lab when he was young (from 13 years old on) that he spent 1500 hrs in a short amount of time, equaling out to eight hours a day. From 8th grade to the end of high school, he spent so many hours in the computer lab, that he became very good at it. You must realize that he was sent to an elite school. The school had the opportunity to have a computer when computers were not even around much at all. And the school had funds that were raised specifically for keeping the computer going and updated. Bill Gates had an advantage that others did not. So when he started his own software company, he had well over 10,000 hours of working on computers.
  • The Beatles, Bill Gates so many other outliers did not only have talent, they have the good fortune of being in a position they can spend hours upon hours learning about working in areas that other people did not have.
  • What set the Beatles apart from other rock bands was the amount of hours that they had played together and practiced.
  • A child’s background has much to do with his life. Wealthier children’s parents usually have them involved in sports teams, extra music classes, special special education classes, etc. These are all opportunities that poorer children do not have.
  • Poorer parents tell their children to be submissive and not challenge authority while richer parents teach their children to interact with and challenge authority in order to learn more.
  • No one ever makes it on their own, no one.
  • Successful people do not do it on their own, where they come from matters.
  • Hard work and determination are very important, but the timing and opportunities must be right. Many Successful people have worked hard and are very talented, but they came to the right spot at the right time.
  • Hard work is only a prison sentence if it does not have any meaning.
  • A study on education amongst poor children and wealthy children are on about the same level when they begin school at a young age. But after summer, the wealthier children did many times better because during the summer break their parents enrolled them in educational opportunities and supplied books to read but the poorer kids didn’t have those opportunities.
  • Many Asian countries have a higher education level than western society, specifically in math. Whereas a western society usually study around 160 days of school in a year, the Asian countries have some 260+ school days in a year.
  • In Jamaica just a short time ago, the lighter colored Jamaicans made up the majority of lawyers whereas the darker skinned only made up 5% – their background and who their parents were gave them more of an opportunity than their education ever could have.
  • So many people are not where they are because of their own doings, it is a matter of inheritance, opportunities, race, status and background that have played a vital part in getting them to where they are.
  • So the “outliers” (those geniuses that stand out above everyone else) are not an really outliers at all.

Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

Christian Parenting Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours - Kevin

Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

by Dr. Kevin Leman

  • Step up to the plate parents and do your job. It is not the communities or governments responsibility to be a parent, it is yours.
  • You will never be a perfect parent, but you can be a good parent.
  • For discipline to work, a child must first be loved.
  • Establish authority – God has given you as the parents the authority to raise the children. Kids need parents to be parents. If you do not establish your parental roll, no one else will – not the schools, not the government, not society, etc.
  • Hold your children accountable for their actions. There are consequences for actions, some positive and some negative. Do not bail kids out of every mess they get into. Teach them and show them that their actions matter.
  • Look for teachable moments when you can allow reality to teach lessons. You do not have to be scared of or run from reality, they could be lesson times. Your home should be a place where your kids can fail but still learn.
  • Teach more with actions than with words. Your kids can probably say what you’re thinking better than you can say it – “don’t make me say this again”, “don’t be late”, etc. – but quit repeating and start doing.
  • Stick to your guns, but don’t shoot yourself in the foot. When you say you’re going to do something, follow through.
  • Relationship comes before rules. Rules find their true value when there’s a relationship that backs it up. Rules without relationships will lead to rebellion. You cannot just have a list of rules and expect for everything to happen, you must be there for them and have a relationship with them.
  • Live by your values. Society is teaching our kids… and they are very bad example. Kids are watching, so live in the right way, live what you believe. When the attractive person of the opposite sex walks by you, what will your kids see you do? When someone cuts you off in traffic, what will your kids see you do?
  • When parents don’t step up: kids running around, cussing like sailors, misbehaving, stealing, throwing temper tantrum’s, etc. Where are their parents? The kids might be thinking the same thing.
  • Take the job of being a parent serious. Don’t leave it to the schools, neighbors, society or others.
  • Every rebellious act is a plea. Kids want to be treated like you are their parents, so do not ignore or neglect that.
  • Don’t let the experts raise your kids for you – you don’t want that and they really don’t know how to do it. It is not as difficult as they make it seem, just decide to take the job and become a parent.
  • The stronger that you are as a husband and wife, the better parent you will be.
  • Children that are given love without discipline are often disrespectful or too dependent.
  • If you want disaster and chaos in your life, do everything for your child. Give them a chance to stand on their own 2 feet, to learn responsibility and to learn accountability.
  • Home should be a place where children can try out and even fail in areas.
  • Authoritarian parents hinder their children because they do not let them make mistakes or think for themselves.
  • Permissive parents do their child a disservice by not teaching them or just caving into them. Love is not giving children everything they want.
  • Parents should give of themselves to their children instead of giving things. Your children do not need money, toys or things, they need you as a parent. Kids need of your time. Don’t worry so much about the quality of the time, give them all of the time that you can.
  • Be honest with your children as soon as possible. Some parents don’t think that children need to hear the truth, but they do, they’re not too young to hear the truth.
  • When you give children the truth, they will respect it because you’re giving insight to your life and they see that you are not perfect.
  • Be careful with reward giving. If children only do things because you pay them or because you are going to give them something, then you are hurting them in the long run.
  • Love based on performance is conditional love. We do not love our children because of what they can do or should do.
  • Our children need to know that they are loved regardless of how they perform. We must love without any if’s, and’s or but’s.
  • There’s a difference between punishment and discipline – discipline is based on love and punishment is based on bad performance.
  • The perfect example of discipline is our Lord Jesus. He never hit his disciples over the head or screamed or yelled at them.
  • We misuse the Proverb that teaches about the rod. The rod is what the shepherd used to guide his sheep, not beat them over the head. Psalm 23 teaches us that his rod and staff lead and guide us, not beat us.
  • Training up a child takes time. We train up our children more by our actions than our words.
  • Teach responsibility. Chores, allowance, etc. It should be understood that allowance is not only for a chore, that’s still their responsibility. An allowance should provide a lesson on how to spend and save money (giving to God, saving and spending).
  • The training ground should be the home. Teach responsibility and accountability. Children should learn at home so they are prepared for later in life.
  • Pull out the rug. Sometimes it is important for the parents to make a decision and show where authority lies. Pulling out the rug on plans doesn’t sound very nice, but it might be just what children need to know, that mom and dad are still in charge.
  • There are right and wrong ways to spank a child; the key is to be in charge of your own emotions. Spanking must be done in love. There should be a follow up time, things said and done after the child receives a spanking. Both the parent and the child can learn from the situation. Let the child know that you love him or her. The key to spanking is doing it with love.
  • See your children as a gift from God, not as a tax break, slaves or burden.
  • When talking or with your children, make sure to look them in the eyes.
  • Physical contact to show love is important for a child – Putting your hand on the shoulder, sitting close together, a hug, etc. all speak love to a child.
  • Respond to your children – get down on their level, take time and respond to them. Do not ignore them.
  • Spend time with your children. Pray, walk, play, shop and make memories with them. Games, picnic, zoo, park, etc. Use your time wisely and spend it with your children.
  • Spend time with your children now and they will listen to you later in life.
  • While spanking is one of the forms of discipline, it should not be the first.
  • Let a child learn to make choices by their self – maybe with clothes to wear or get rid of, etc. This will show that you respect them and intern they will respect you for it.
  • Don’t demand respect, earn it. You can demand respect, but that is temporary and not real. You cannot cook up respect in a microwave, it takes time. But start earning respect now and later your children will respect your opinions.
  • It is never easy to discipline your children and it takes courage, but it pays off.
  • Erroneous ideas that a “super Parent” thinks he has:
    • I am in charge – no, our children belong to Lord and He has loaned them to us.
    • I am the judge and jury – the only judge is God himself and He is the one who would judge one day. Parents are not infallible.
    • My children can’t fail – Yes our children can fail and they should fail in order to learn. If we have an attitude that they can never fail, they will perceive our love as performance-based love.
    • I am boss, and I say what goes – In reality God is the boss and we are only managers. The super parent idea thinks that we have everything under control. Some parents try to decide what job their child will have, where they will go to school, career they will have, and even who they will marry. This control will cause much heart ache.
  • Every family has problems and denying that will only make it worse. It is not so much if we have problems as much as it is how we handle those problems.
  • How do I teach my children about God and to use their lives for Him? Children must see our actions and not our mere words. Yes we are human and mess up, but that is no reason to be hypocritical.
  • Pray with our children – Children should not hear us thanking God for our perfection rather asking God to help us in our weakness. Be open before God and before children. Prayer time can be one of the most precious times of the day. Hold your children during prayer time, take time, open your heart and stay away from memorized prayers that have very little meaning.
  • Always keep short accounts. The child should be forgiven and the parent should talk to the children about the situation.
  • A parent should use their natural ally, which is natural consequences. They reap what they sow so let them learn lessons by natural consequences. The parents can use these times as teaching points. Teach that life doesn’t always give a 2nd chance.
  • Remorse is good but it is not enough. Children still need to suffer the consequences for what they’ve done. Remorse sometimes can be used as a manipulative tool by children. Remorse is good, but it is not enough.
  • Never force your children into submission. Remember that the shepherds rod was to guide him not beat him.
  • Consequence should be fit for the offense.
  • Let your kids know that they are good and loved, even though they do not always act like it or obey.
  • When you get married, there are actually six people getting married – you and your spouse along with her parents and your parents. Your spouse has been raised a certain way, has a set of thoughts about discipline, fun and family.
  • Talk to your children about their fears. Never make fun of them or belittle them. Share how you have been afraid at different times in life and help them through their fears.
  • Be careful with TV. There’s so many bad things on TV, but many times it is not what is portrayed on rather what is not portrayed on TV that makes it bad. Faithfulness, masculinity and other important characteristics are not portrayed on TV.
  • Limit the time your children watch TV. Make sure they finish homework, chores and whatever else before watching TV.
  • Know what they are watching on TV, Select the programs they can watch.
  • When on the road instead of letting children watch TV the entire time you can do other things: bring some games, take a recorder so they can record themselves, Color forms (plastic stickers that you can put on your window that are easily taken off), etc.
  • Should I get angry? The answer is yes. But get angry at the right things and respond correctly with your anger.
  • Comfort. If your children get bad grades or do something that you disapprove of, let them know what or how to do better, but that you still love him/her. Your love for them will never change. Physical touch can be very comforting for a child.

 

  • 8 Rules of Communication with your children:
    • Think before you speak
    • Stress the positive – make the positive things a second nature to your conversation.
    • When you have to deal with the negative, do it in a positive matter of fact way
    • Take time with your child – each week, each individual child. Is a lot but worth it.
    • You don’t always have to like what your child does, but always communicate that you love them.
    • When you feel you blow it with your children, ask their forgiveness – 1st you will get forgiveness from your children and 2nd you will model forgiveness for your children.
    • Keep in mind that results are not always the best in the long run.
    • Ask for God’s guidance daily, in your own life and your child’s
  • Love. Loving your children and expressing it is super important. To show them love: discipline them when needed, verbally express it daily and physical touch (hug, etc.)
  • Nagging. Teach your children that what you say the first time is important, you do not need to continue saying it until you get mad. Say it once and if not heeded to than the needed discipline will happen.
  • Children not only want to be a part of your family but they need to be a part of your family. Love them, enjoy them and discipline them – but remember that discipline is not something that you do rather the way that you live.