Category: Helpful Resources

Planet Middle School

by Kevin Leman

 

– Kids from the ages 11 to 13 are in this middle school and it is a very difficult time of life because of puberty and their hormones are up-and-down.

During the time of middle school, remember the acronym EGRS.

E – extra.

Expect there could be a mood swings and difficulties, you will need to be patient.

G – grace.

Give them room to grow and change. They may act like they hate their sibling one moment and love them the next.

R – required.

Remember what your own middle school years were like. How you did your hair and dressed and how are your moods were.

S – sometimes.

Sift through what has been said and how they have acted and realize there was a root problem, it is not that they hate you. A wise parent will listen and help find the root of the problem. A wise parent will not engage in fighting.

 

– There are times when you need to butt-in and other times when you need to butt-out and the discernment of when to do this is not easy. You are the best teacher that your children have during these years, even if you do not realize that. Be there for them.

– If you want to be part of your child’s life but they are acting awkward and do not let you in, try to be creative so that they let you in. Make a good meal and invite their friends over. Do something fun that your child will want to invite others to.

– Teach your child about how to respectfully handle a bully.

– They can want to act like a little child at one moment and act grown-up the next moment — that is middle school.

– When your child does not tell you anything, remember they’re trying to get their independence. Teach them and help them, but be patient with them.

– Middle schoolers are super-sensitive about everything, especially criticism… and especially from you. They trust you and need you so be cautious not to criticize or laugh at them. They have all kinds of things running through their mind, like: do my mom and dad love me, accept me, like me, find me worthy, think I am weird, etc.?

– The middle school world is a dog-eat-dog world so that is all the reason more why they need you as a parent not to judge them or criticize them rather to be there for them.

– Find an activity or hobby that your middle schooler can get involved in. This will occupy their mind and keep them busy.

– Focus on your child. The middle school years will pass and so will those silly styles and moods. Keep loving your child and being there for them.

– Your child wants more than anything to be long, so let them feel accepted by you always. If you do not accept them, they will find a group that does.

– Be careful about just adamantly saying no to what they ask because you might get a defiant spirit that way. Tell them a reason or show them so they are convinced themselves.

– The atmosphere at home depends on you as a parent.

– What kids really want from their parents: show me, don’t tell me; help me; encourage me; spend time with me.

– Your child needs you to be their parent, not just their friend.

– If you want your child to be kind, then exemplify kindness. If you want your child to be organized, then be organized yourself. If you want your child to be accountable, then show accountability. Whatever you want your child to be, simplify it and expect it.

– The top three needs that your child needs are to be wanted, to be needed and to be respected.

– Kids who eat together as a family usually have better grades, stronger family ties, self confidence and better communication skills.

People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You

Don’t Give Them The Keys

by Mike Bechtle

 

– Our problems usually have to do with people (they did not meet our expectations, got in our way or whatever).

– Two people can go through the same circumstance yet it affects them differently — it is not the problem but how we handle the problem.

 

– You’re at one of three steps to take back control and not be driven crazy:

1. Change the circumstances — do whatever you can to try to get things back on track and under control. Can you give an alternative so the situation changes?

2. Change your attitude — if you can’t change the circumstances, you have to change your attitude towards the person or problem. When you can’t change a personal problem, realize you can’t change gratitude.

3. Leave the situation — leaving a job, relationship or place should be the last resort when many times it is the first resort for people.

– Realize that your relationship with God can help you with your relationship with others.

– It’s our perspective on things that make it look good or bad. Some of the happiest people are some of the poorest people and some of the richest people are the most miserable — it is their perspective on life.

– Stop and see from the other persons point of view. Until you see from the other person’s viewpoint you cannot totally understand why they’re doing what they’re doing.

– The possibility of changing someone else’s attitude and actions is very slim, but we can take control of our attitude and actions.

– We cannot eliminate all the drama around us, but we can learn to live responsibly instead of reactionary.

– Relationships are messy and none of them are exactly the same. Every individual is uniquely different.

– Trying to change another person, their thoughts and ways, is like trying to fight a grease fire with water… it’s a disaster. When we think we will be happy when the other person changes, we are giving them control of the situation.

– Relationships take work and time.

– Having healthy relationships does not mean they will be drama or stress-free and that everything will be perfect.

– God doesn’t allow the magic wand to be waived so that problems in relationships just go away, but God does give us wisdom on how to deal with people, problems and situations.

– We cannot change others, but we influence them when we take control of ourselves.

– If we want to get the best use out of our car, we read the manual for the car. And if we want to get the best use out of relationships with others, we should read what God, the designer of relationships, wrote about them.

– It is not our job to fix other people, but we seem to spend a lot of time, thoughts and efforts trying to do so.

– Learn to talk to a person not about a person. Talking behind someone’s back is called gossip and will only hurt others.

– Gossip does not promote healing, the Gospel does.

– Our attitude cannot depend on what others do.

– If we expect for other people to change, we will be disappointed.

– God never intended for everyone to be the same. Just as there is variety in nature, so is there variety in people and personalities.

– We like a symphony because there is a variety of instruments playing together. It would be pretty boring if everything was a violin or the same instrument. The same goes with people. A tuba will never be a violin, it will always be a tuba. Wishing that a tuba would be otherwise, does not change it, it will only frustrate you.

– The key to manage our emotions is to manage your thoughts. When you think someone did something to hurt you or meant something bad, you react wrong.

– Changing ourselves, as opposed to trying to change others, does two great things for us: it puts us in charge of the situation and it allows us to influence others because we are not controlled by them, emotions and the situation.

– When we genuinely change on the inside, we will react to people differently on the outside.

– Emotional stability is determined by where we put our focus. We can focus on crazy people and/or problems, focus on ourselves or focus on truth.

– If you focus on what the other person does/did, on anger or revenge, you’re allowing the other person to control you.

– If we want different feelings come out we have to have different thoughts.

– We can choose not to think about or worry about what’s wrong instead of what’s right. Don’t allow stressful things to enter you (many news radio, negative reading material, etc.). Allow the positive things to influence you.

– Changing ourselves changes everything.

– Don’t place too high of expectations because it only leads to discouragement.

– The past is permanent and we can do nothing about it no matter how hard we try, so don’t dwell on it.

– Don’t be the victim, change yourself.

– There’s always hope for relationships because God is the One working on individual lights. Go to Him and let Him do the work.

– We don’t have to become victims. People cannot drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.

Parenting Scripts

by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake

 

– You must ask God for the wisdom to help your children.

– It might just be that God wants to start the change in your life, are you willing to let him?

– God may want to work in you before he works through you as a parent.

– You should speak to your children more about what they should be doing instead of what they should not be doing. If all you do is gripe and give negative feedback, you are giving the wrong message. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 should be the example here.

– There’s not a one-size-fits-all way in raising kids (naps, chores, discipline, etc.), but whatever you do, you must be consistent!

– You should allow natural consequences to teach your children lessons in life. Allowing them to suffer some natural consequences does not hurt them, it teaches and prepares them for life.

– Your tone, looks and body language are much more important than the words we speak to our children.

– It is humbling to go to your children and apologize, but it is that humility that will build and strengthen a relationship.

– In the moments that your children argue with you and/or say hurtful things, decide not to return cursing for cursing rather blessings for cursing. You can respond right and set the example.

– Contentment does not come natural, it must be learned, and it’s your job as a parent to teach it to your children.

– Teach your children that the only person that they can control is themselves. Getting mad or trying to change or fix others will be in vain, they have to learn to react correctly.

– When your children fight, wait and then ask them what they think they need to do to correct and maintain a right relationship with their sibling. Let them give advice instead of telling them what to do.

– The road for independence is one of the hardest for parents to manage — allowing them to go to bed later, more freedom on technology, etc.

– Learning to give your kids independence is boiled down to trusting — trusting the Lord and trusting your children. – Parenting on the same page with your spouse is paramount in child-raising.

Move Your Bus

by Ron Clark

The book is parable-style. It gives four groups of people that ride on a bus (going through life) and then gives advice on how to be a better rider.

 

– Runners

• Those that move things along and are willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

• Those who work hard should be recognized for it.

• You must be careful not to break the spirit of your runners or they will not run anymore.

 

– Joggers

• Those that push some but want the credit for it. They remind everyone of their sacrifice.

 

– Walkers

• Those just taking their time and not in a hurry. Love to criticize and tell everyone the problems.

 

– Riders

• Those that are dead weight just sitting there. Do just enough to not get fired, definitely do nothing to help.

– It doesn’t matter how smart you are, if you don’t have a strong work ethic, you are just slowing down the bus.

– Dress sharp no matter what and you’ll make better decisions, be received better, feel better and look better.

– Keep your space clean. You might be fine with a messy workstation, but others might not be fine with it.

– Be happy and polite. Great people when you see them don’t walk around texting and ignoring people.

– Be around and sit with the right kind of people. Everyone needs someone to learn from and someone who can make them smile. Don’t hang around the depressive and bad-attitude people.

– Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You might accomplish more and arrive to the goal quicker if you will simply humble yourself and asked someone to help or explain something.

– Accept criticism well. When your boss corrects you or when you receive criticism, learn from it instead of trying to justify yourself or come up with a good excuse. Learn to be humble, open and willing to accept criticism.

– Keep your mouth shut unless you are going to ask a question or answer affirmatively to help out in a certain area.

– Stay in your lane. Do not try to run everyone else’s area or remind them what they are supposed to be doing. Don’t drift into other people’s lane, keep your eyes in front of you and accomplish your tasks and allow others to accomplish their own.

– Change the conversation. If negativity starts ruling a conversation, change it. When someone tells you how they have it and how horrible things are, tell them you’re sorry to hear it instead of trying to one-up them sharing how bad you have it. A positive conversation brings positive results and can empower others around you.

– No excuses, just solutions. Anyone can find a problem, but not just anyone will find a solution to get it fixed.

– Realize that you are not entitled to your job. We give everyone participation trophies they do not deserve, so we have created an entitled-attitude culture. We do not deserve anything, we must work for it. There’s nothing wrong with confidence, but it better match your performance.

– Be credible. Do not say something and not follow through with it. Honor your commitments, do not make commitments that you cannot keep.

– Pay attention to the details. It is the small things that make a difference to people.

– Don’t let your personal issues affect your work. Put them to the side so that you can work hard and do what you’re supposed to do.

– Don’t assume that you are awesome. You think people should praise you and that you’re doing a great job, but others might not think you are doing as good as you think you are.

– Don’t just be good at your job, be professional at it.

– Go right to the source when there’s a problem.

– Show appreciation. If you will not show appreciation for the small things that people do, you will never do it when bigger things happen to you. When someone does something special for you, show appreciation quickly and genuinely. How you handle appreciation will determine on future events being repeated.

Keys To The Deeper Life

by A. W. Tozer

 

– God demands all or nothing.

– What is your life producing?

– Does your soul cry out for God?

– Before there is a fullness, there must be an emptiness. We must be emptied of self.

– We cannot buy anything from God.

 

– How can you be filled:

1. Surrender

2. Ask

3. Obey

4. Believe

 

– No one is filled with the Spirit without knowing that he is filled with Holy Spirit.

– Being filled with the Spirit resolve all your other problems.

– To pray effectively, we must pray what God wants.

– Self is the serpent in the garden. Self is quenched when you are on your knees.

– No man is able to succeed unless he’s willing to fail. And no man is able to succeed if he is not willing to pass along the credit to someone else.

– You cannot be a genuine Bible Christian and love this world.

– The Holy Spirit is not simply enthusiasm, He is a person.

– Many do not truly want to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God because they still want to live as they please in this world.

– Be done playing with Christianity and throw yourself recklessly to God.

– Decide you’ll never take credit to yourself.

– Death to self is a painful thing.

– Worldliness has become acceptable and even popular in evangelical circles.

– We must become dissatisfied with the cheap form of Christianity.

– Follow the methods of the New Testament instead of big businesses.

How to Remember Names and Faces

by Dale Carnegie

 

“A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” — Dale Carnegie

 

– Make sure you hear the name clearly. If you don’t hear it, ask them to repeat it so you get it. If you still don’t hear it well, ask them to spell it.

– Get an eye impression as well as a mind impression of the person with their name.

– Get a distinct impression of facial features, height, voice and weight, it will help you remember their name.

– Repeat the name as quickly as possible and as often as possible.

– Use their name several times in a conversation.

– Don’t just say how are you, say how are you and use their name.

– Repeat the name of the person silently to yourself.

– Refresh your memory of someone’s name before meeting with them.

– When you leave the person, use their name again.

– Associate a name with a face.

How to Lead in a World of Distraction

by Clay Scroggins

 

– This world is full of distractions and all these distractions are costing you way more than you realize.

1. The opportunity cost of the unknown. Benefits you miss out on. Opportunity lost for every one of your distractions.

2. The lack of traction caused by the distraction. Our distractions are pulling you away from and keeping you from gaining traction in your life.

3. The failure to live your best life. Distractions stop you from living your best life right now.

– It starts by leading yourself. You can limit your distractions.

– Distractions make us promises and take our mind off of what we are currently doing.

– Distractions aren’t necessarily bad but get us off focused.

– Being a better you requires that you turn down your distractions.

 

– Here are three ways to turn down distractions:

1. Name your noise — TV, Facebook, email, etc. You can’t turn down what you don’t realize is distracting you.

2. Experiment with your noise — observe and know yourself well enough to know what to remove or go without. What would you say and what would others say is a distraction to you? Could you go a week by not doing it? Try.

3. Listen to what is there — self evaluate. Do you have the power to say no to something?

– If you can turn down the distractions, you can begin to envision what your future self will look like.

– If you’re not careful, you will let the external distractions of success affect the internal work that will lead you to growth.

– Don’t spend your life peacocking for others or the years will go by and you will have nothing to show for it.

– Some of the most successful people schedule times for nothing more than thinking.

 

– A good leader knows three things that help him simplify his life:

1. Where he came from

2. Where he is going

3. How he is going to get there

– What is urgent is usually important and what is important is usually urgent.

– Simplicity boils down to knowing why you are doing what you are doing.

– Simplicity brings clarity.

– Not only do we have to know why we do what we do but also the way to get there… and the way is through self-talk.

– You have to clear the voices to hear the right self talk, clear away all the noise. Create openings for positive talk.

– Write your list of things to do the night before and you’ll take care of many problems.

– Decide to not check email or social media before finishing something.

– Solitude scares most people but it’s a practice that can really help.

– Truly being silent means shutting off the negative talk.

– Using a screen for silent time can be counterproductive.

 

– Learn to hit pause in life. A few ways to hit pause are:

1. Sabbath (rest, silent time… put it into your daily or weekly schedule)

2. Fasting (from food, social media, etc.)

3. Sabbatical (set aside time from work and daily routines. Taking a step back from all would do us good).

– You can willfully choose who and what controls you, but you have to decide to turn distractions down or off.

– If you never learn to turn down the distractions in your life, you will never learn the key lessons in life.

– You’ll never be able to hear from God without turning down the noise.

 

Grit

by Martin J. Dweck

 

– Why did some quit when others continue on? Why do some stop trying when others keep pushing forward?

– Grit trumps talent and intelligence.

– Perseverance is one of the closest traits linked to grit.

– Albert Einstein’s parents thought that he was mentally challenged, but he continued persevering.

– Perseverance is good, but it lacks passion.

– Resilience is another trait associated with grit. Resilience teaches you to get back up when you’re not down.

– Ambition is a another trait closely related to grit. It is energy and passion to keep you going.

– You have to just regard the opinion of many people or else you will stop or become discouraged.

– Don’t dwell on the past or future, live in the now.

– Avoid procrastination. Delaying your to do list will only result in discouragement.

– Be hopeful. Hope goes beyond a feel good emotion, it is leaning towards a better place and as a result working to obtain it.

– Change the way you think. If you think on being well, you will begin to subconsciously working differently.