Why not to take your parents when move to mission field? Mark Tolson
You can’t treat them right, it is selfish to want to give them all the hard work (dealing with kids in the plane and with jet lag once arrived) when you are suppose to be the “hero” missionaries making the sacrifice to reach your country.
It is “out of focus”—meaning that you land on the field and start running and working, this is what you have been dreaming of for years and you won’t be able to do that because you have to take care of your parents (no matter how tuff you are on your parents, they are always needy because they are foreigners in the country). How will they eat, sleep, get around when you can’t even do the basics yet?
It shows mistrust towards the missionary because they have people who are able to watch your kids when you land on the field, but instead of trusting their judgement you are brining your parents.
It shows a lack of authority and leadership, that you can’t tell your parents/in laws “No, now is not the best time to come, I have a job to do, you can come in a year.”
It continues jet-lag and doesn’t help overcome it. If parents are stuck in a room all day watching your children while you are out and about buying the necessitates, then it is most likely the parents and the children will be sleeping on and off through the day. To adjust to jet lag you need to be awake all day and being “out and about” helps you and your children to be moving. If a maid is needed to watch the kids, at least she is fully awake to help the kids stay awake.
It can give your parents a bad view of the country or they help breed a bad attitude. Most parents haven’t had culture shock training and how they respond to it might be discouraging to you. Or they see your bad attitude about adjusting to the culture and or food and they go along with your bad attitude?
What are they going to eat? Will they eat the local food or do you have to give them McDonalds everyday? Didn’t you come to adjust to the culture, starting on day one, or are you just going to be the ugly American while your parents are with you?
Worry, your parents become another worry and dependent on you. So you have to take your energy to worry about them. (So does the hosting missionary.)
You will take vacation days and not work. You landed on the field to start your ministry, you have been planning and working on this for years and then you land on the field and take a couple vacations days with your parents…because you cant’t just have them watch the kids the “whole” time. This stunts your momentum, drive, ambition. Your dream of being in the field finally arrives and you take a vacation and go see the tourist sites…somethings not right here.