Category: Book Reviews

Like the Shepherd

by Robert Wolgemuth 

 

– You win with your wife not by conquering her, but by humbly leading her.

– Both you and your wife need a shepherd, so let God be your shepherd and your example so you can lead your wife better.

– “And gave himself for her” is a biblical truths that all of us should learn and live by.

– Only as you allow the Lord to be your shepherd can you be the right shepherd to your wife.

– As humans, we are destined to be sheep. We cannot change that fact. What we can choose is who we let be our shepherd. Make the right decision and let God be your shepherd, your leader.

– If you love your bride as Jesus does His (the church), she will follow you.

– Jesus was God and had authority, yet he was humble and loving. He came to serve instead of be served. If you love and lead your wife like the example of Jesus, your wife will follow you.

– Proverbs 27:23 — know the state of your flock — how well do you know your wife?

– The Bible says the Adam knew Eve and she conceived. What does the verb “to know” have to do with sex? A man can climax in seconds, but it takes a woman longer. Real sex is so intimate it is knowing the other person.

– You can decide to be a good shepherd, but your wife is the only one who can make the decision to be a good follower. You cannot force her.

– Treat your wife as your friend. Maybe you need to turn again to your first love.

– You should never have to remind your wife about your role as a shepherd.

– Be the shepherd of your kitchen and don’t let any cell phones at the table when you’re eating a meal with the family.

– Sin ruins God‘s flock and hurts His sheep. God hates sin, and as the shepherd of your family, you should too.

– A shepherd encourages his sheep.

– Be a Barnabas, an encourager, to your wife.

– Jesus looked at Peter and asked him if he, Peter, loved Jesus more than anything. Peter answered yes, and Jesus told him to feed His sheep. And as a husband, love Jesus more than anything or you will not be able to feed the sheep He has given you.

– Jesus is a humble and gentle shepherd, and that’s what your wife needs for you to be.

– When you married your wife, your marital fuel tank was on full, but after arguments, disagreements, and situations throughout life, your tank begins to run on empty

Laboring in the Harvest

by Leroy and Randy Eims

 

– Laborers are few. There seems to always be enough churchgoers and religious people but not enough laborers.

– A laborer gets calluses, works hard and works for another person.

– There is a short of laborers because we are shortsightedness. We see the now instead of the future.

– There’s a short of laborers because of the lack of prayer. We are told to pray for them.

– There’s a lack of laborers because of its position. There’s no prestigious title, just people who go out in the fields and work. Outside of the apostles, there were 70 witnesses. We do not know their names, they were just laborers.

– Laborers have creative perseverance. If one way doesn’t work they find another way.

– Labors build bridges. Build bridges to reach others for the Lord.

– The laborer must be diligent to do the work of an evangelist.

– Ultimately, laborers come from God.

– We want to produce reproducers.

– Be makers of disciple makers. Be Equippers.

– Jesus majored on men not ministry methods.

– Avoid the myth that disciple making can be made in a vacuum.

– Evangelism is the fizz in the Christian life. It’s what first comes out when you open the can and without it things go flat.

– The equipper must be an example himself. He’s not to just teach, but to be an example of what he teaches.

– The ministry of an equipper is that of patience and love. Their eyes must be fixed up on the Lord and patient with those they’re helping.

– The equipper cannot do the laborers job, but they can motivate the laborer to do his job.

– Show them how to do things, help them away, involve them and don’t forget to serve them.

– We are in a battle, and just as in any other battle, there are casualties. There will be people we are discipling that will quit, but we must not quit ourselves, just look for others and continue.

– Discouragement will be a big tool the devil uses in the life of an equipper. The devil would do anything to get your mind off of what your chief objective is.

– It seems that everything imaginable will happen, but an equipper must be tenacious, must be persistent.

– There’s no room for laziness in God’s work. Laboring for God is hard work. – I Thessalonians 2:19-20

– Become a spiritually qualified laborer. Become an equipper of laborers.

– Just as any farmer that plants, there are some years of big harvest, some of drought, storms and problems.

– We will never reach a time as a laborer in which our faith is not tested and trials end.

– There will be both stories of failures and successes as you fish for men.

– We must continue letting God sanctify our lives for His sanctified work.

– A holy life is a very powerful tool.

King Me

by Steve Farrar 

– God has called on men to mentor their son’s, not on moms to mentor their sons.

– It might be hard for a father not to have a son, but it is much harder on a son to not have a father. Boys need their dads in their lives!

– A dad has no higher calling in life than to shape his son into a man.

– Boys need a dad that is faithful to his wife, doesn’t look at porn, and won’t cut out when things get tough.

– Your son is listening when you don’t think he is and he is always watching you. He needs a good example!

– No matter what stage of life or age your son is, you can always decide to do what is right and use your influence like you should.

– You will mess up, no doubt about it, but when you mess up, be big enough to get it right. Ask God to forgive you and help you, and be willing to confess and ask forgiveness from your son as well.

– Give your son the structure and discipline that he needs to become a man.

– You have to purposefully take time with your son so that you can hear the inside beats and thoughts of his heart.

– What the blacksmith is to the sword, the father is to the son. He must sharpen and mold him.

– If your son never has a healthy fear of you, he will never have a healthy fear of God. Whether you like it or not, you are your sons instinctive image of God.

– How can a boy learn to be a man if he’s always around women and never around a man.

 

– A son needs:

1. Purpose — God has created him for a purpose. In his uniqueness, God has a purpose for him. Help him discover his God-given gifts (what he likes, what he is good at and what others can see he’s good at).

2. Plan —

3. Patience — maybe to find his gifts, to do right, etc.

4. Path — it is your job as a dad to teach and give God’s Word to your son. God‘s Word will teach him all he needs to know to get through life. It is your job to make sure he hears the truth to know how to navigate in this world.

5. Prepared for Potential — 1 Kings 2:2-3. – You have to talk to your son about sex:

 

• Sexual openness and struggle is very real and you have to help your son before the devil gets him.

1. Talk to him early and wisely — talk to him before others do.

2. Talk to him honestly — about his thought life, self control, and real temptations.

3. Talk to him often — talk about what’s happening in life. – Every father mentors his son, just not always for the right things.

 

Jumpstart Your Leadership

by John Maxwell

 

– Every leader has potential to improve.

– Every leader must prove himself with little before he’s given much. When you do that, you gain leadership, not just position.

– Leadership is much more about who you are then it is about what you do.

– Good leaders know who they are, their strengths and their weaknesses.

– Integrity is the core of leadership. Knowing your values and living by them will make you a better leader.

– It’s not what you do every once in a while but what you do day by day that makes the difference.

– Become the kind of leader that people will follow voluntarily, a leader with or without a position.

– Leadership is action, not position. It is taking people somewhere.

– Leadership is about working with people, so always work on improving your people skills.

– Nearly everyone can handle adversity, but if you want to test someone, give them power.

– Abraham Lincoln – Just because you have the right to do something as a leader does not mean you should do it.

– People quit people; not companies or organizations.

– Leadership is the capability of turning vision into reality.

– Leaders are initiators.

– If you want to change the world, first start with yourself.

– A title or position is not the goal for a leader, it is just the beginning on their leadership journey.

– A leader realizes that he must develop people because people are the ones who get things done, not rules, play books or machines.

– A good leader understands that he does not know everything, but he can put people around him that you understand every situation.

– Good leaders are accessible to others.

– You could lead people without caring for them but you cannot care for people without effectively leading them.

– You have to decide if you want to help people or make people happy. But realize that you can never please everyone, so if you’re going to help them, it will not be by always making them happy.

– Remember that if you step on people’s fingers on the way climbing up, they may trip you on your way back down — treat people with respect.

– People have to be able to trust you if they’re going to work with you.

– Liking and caring about people are essential to leading people, it is your choice to like and care for them. Find something good and positive about every person.

– Leaders who build people understand that problems are a part of progress.

– The first person that you must always examine in leadership is yourself.

– Listen, learn and then lead. Don’t go the opposite way around.

– To be a good leader knowing what to do is not enough.

– Do you know what the people you are leading want to accomplish? It is hard to relate to others if you do not know what their goals and ambitions are.

– A leader can avoid crossing over the line from motivation to manipulation by simply practicing the golden rule — do unto others as you want them to do to you.

– Kind words can be short and sweet, but their echoes will go on for many years.

– As a leader, you have great opportunities to lift up and encourage others, so use those opportunities.

– If you become the chief encourager of your organization, people will work hard to live up to your expectations.

– As a leader it is your responsibility to help those that are doing poorly to do better and those that are doing good to do their best.

– Care plus candor is what is needed to help others. Never try to correct or instruct someone without having their best interest in mind.

– A leader has to have an open door policy if he is going to help people.

– If you’re going to be open and blunt with other people, you have to be willing for them to be open and blunt with you at times.

– You can dream up anything in the world, but it takes people to make it a reality.

– Instead of worrying if people will buy into your vision, you should worry about people buying into you.

– A leader takes people where they want to go, but a great leader will take people where they need to go although don’t necessarily want to go.

– Good leaders take people where they want to go instead of just showing them the way — they are more like tour guides instead of travel agents.

– Having talented players on your team is good, but it does not mean that you will win. People have to learn to get along and play as a team.

– Success is an uphill journey.

– If you’re going to be a leader, one of the key elements is that you have to learn to make difficult decisions.

– Learn to give away credit to as many people as you can.

– Good leaders don’t ever take anything for granted, they explain instead of assume.

– To be a great leader, you must not only get things done, but the right things done.

– As a leader you must not only find your own strengths, but help others find their strengths as well.

– Progress requires change, and very few people like change.

– People resist that which is forced upon them, but they accept that which they helped create.

– Good leaders keep pushing, they don’t just gain momentum and then sit back and coast.

– Leaders know that it is their responsibility to create more leaders, not more followers.

– Great leaders develop the people under and around them.

– Commit to making others better. Companies and organizations get better when the people that work in them get better.

– Model with integrity.

Integrity

by Henry Cloud

 

– Who a person is will determine what they are able to do.

– Lack of character will stop you from reaching your potential, or it will let you rise to the top and then fall.

– A business may be good, but without the right leader, it’s not going far.

– You have to have people’s trust in order to work with them.

– Successful people don’t worry about fault; they accept it instead of shifting blame.

– Have a character of being instead of doing.

– You can’t let what others think about you control you.

– Non-confronters leave a mess in the wake and do not get problems solved.

– Not confronting a problem is a bad choice, but confronting a problem poorly is a bad choice as well.

– Anything of value is going to cost you something.

– Most people have anorexic growth, you have to intentionally decide to grow.

– Growth requires risk. Risk is moving from structure. It is an expression that successful people are not afraid to take.

– Being too tight (or cheap) to grow is like a farmer not willing to buy seed or fertilizer.

– Are you God or not? That seems like a simple question that almost everyone can answer correctly. But while most people would say they are not, they walk around acting as if they are — everyone has to serve them and do as they wish.

– Are you willing to deny yourself for the greater cause?

– Men who are prepared in the area of leadership are not always prepared in the area of their personal life.

– We all have talents but we also all have weaknesses and dysfunctions.

– We all have to swallow our pride at times.

How to Slay the Dragon of Lust

by Chip Ingram

 

– Here are five bedrock facts about sexual purity:

1. You are not alone in your struggles.

2. There is hope for you today.

3. The problem is in our mind.

4. Ignorance will kill you. Just trying harder, or will-power, is not enough.

5. You will never make it on your own. Thinking you can do it yourself… you can’t. You need help, specifically God’s help.

 

– Temptation is not wrong, because they find us no matter where we are, but it becomes wrong when you move from the obvious temptation to fantasizing lustful thoughts.

– The goal of temptation is to destroy you.

– You cannot play with temptation and sexual thoughts because they will destroy you.

– The goal of temptation always casts doubt on God

– Does God really know best? Did God really said that?

– The best sex is sex within marriage bounds, that’s how God intended it to be.

– You are most susceptible when you think that it could not happen to you.

– Temptations are universal

– 1 Corinthians 10:13. We think we are the only one like that: if you understood my background. I have more testosterone than most people. I have a stronger sex drive. It’s the way women dress. Or other various excuses.

– Temptations are not bigger than God‘s faithfulness – 1 Corinthians 10:13. When I am faithless and cave-in, God is still faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).

His Needs, Her Needs

by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

 

– How affair-proof is your marriage?

– One spouse’s needs are not necessarily the other spouse’s needs.

– Getting coaching from your wife is what a smart man does — if she feels like holding hands in public, a small kiss, hug when you see her, or whatever makes her feel cherished, then do that. Ask your wife in order to become a better husband.

– Too many wives are starving for affection because their husband does not understand what she considers affectionate. Find out.

– When a man will learn to be affectionate with his wife, he will find out that both his and her sex lives will be more fulfilling.

– Luke 6:31 — use the golden rule in your marriage; treat your spouse like you want to be treated.

– Couples that have a good and happy marriage purposefully schedule time together for each other.

– The first step in any affair is usually affectionate conversation (intimate conversation). Husbands must take their job as a communicator seriously.

– There are enemies to intimate conversation:

1. Making demands instead of requests

2. Being disrespectful

3. Expressing anger

4. Dwelling on mistakes, past or present

 

– There are friends of intimate conversation:

1. Conversing to inform, investigate and understand.

2. Develop an interest in your spouse’s favorite topic of conversation. You may feel that your spouse is not a talker, but if you begin talking about your spouse’s interest, they will come out of their shell.

3. Balance the conversation. Unless you’re both a good listener and a good talker, it’s not intimate conversation.

4. Give each other undivided attention. Watching TV, looking at a device or simply not paying attention, will greatly frustrate your spouse.

– Spouses that enjoy the same recreational activities have a deeper bond.

– Transparency should be one of the key elements in every marriage. Many people say that each individual needs their own privacy, but if you expect to have a good and healthy marriage, you must be open and transparent in every area.

– Openness and honesty is always the best policy in marriage. Some people are afraid that their honesty of the past or future may hurt their spouse, but this honesty is what hurts a spouse, honesty.

– Child training does not come natural to a dad, but one of the best ways to learn this is to ask your wife.

– A man thrives on admiration.

– Criticism is the opposite of admiration.

– Praise and admiration should never be fake.

– Many men that had an affair have expressed to the author that their new lover admired them and their spouse did not.

– Spouses that are partners with life no secrets and are open about everything (emails, texts, passwords, schedules, friends, etc.).

– A couple can go from being irresistible towards each other to being incompatible to each other by leaving off each other’s basic needs.

– Secrets are the step stones to an affair. Decide that there will be no secrets in your marriage. Radical honesty, openness and transparency are best. Genesis 2:28 says they were both naked and unashamed — they had nothing to hide.

Hero

by Meg Meeker, M.D.

 

– Dad is the hero of his children and when he is not there, the children will suffer.

– The key question is not how much the father makes or how many flaws he has, the difference maker is how much dad is involved in the children’s lives.

 

– How you, dad, can be the hero at home:

1. Be tough enough to bear the weight of family burdens. Be the man that steps up at home.

2. Reduce the friction. Men are problem solvers, so work at reducing the tension or friction at home.

3. Act on your highest beliefs. You have a vision in your mind of what a good dad looks like — it may be your dad, another man or something that you have made up, but you have an ideal picture of what he is to do and look like. Be that man.

 

– A dad is a child’s hero and within a dad is to be that hero. Not their teacher, their coach or someone else, but their dad is their hero.

– Kids want their dad’s approval more than anything else in life. They want us to meet the standard that you set for them because you will always be their dad.

– Children mimic.

– As a father, everything you do casts a giant shadow.

– You cannot change the past, but your decisions for now and the future urge you to be the greatest dad your children need and want.

– Every minute you spend with your children is like time multiplied. As a father, you have the magic to make time stand still. Your 15 minutes a week of playing with your children may seem like one hour every day in their mind.

– Live like a hero. To a young child, you don’t have to measure up to be their hero, you already are. So live out what you are in their eyes.

– What is going on inside of a teen is usually seen in their behavior. When they lash out at, don’t yell back, be patient with them.

– Man equivalent their lives with their jobs; but their greatest responsibility is not their job but their role as a father.

– Moral integrity and courage are of upmost importance in the life of a father.

– Teaching character to your children is much more important than all of the accomplishments they make as a good sports player, student with good grades, etc.

– Character and discipline is much better than winning a game or being recognized.

– Good leaders stand for what’s right no matter what others think. As a dad, don’t fear telling your kids they have had enough screen time, not wear a specific outfit, not to hang around those friends, etc.

– Do not be afraid to teach your children rules: it is wrong to be lazy, it is wrong to steal, it is right to respect others, it is right to tell the truth, it is wrong to harm your body, it is right to help others, etc.

 

– Lead your family sacrificially:

• Instead of going out with your buddies, take your family out.

• Instead of buying that new gadget, invest in savings for your children.

• Instead of relaxing yourself, take your family to the park.

• Instead of being stingy or using it on yourself, let your children see you give money at church and to others.

– If you did not have a good dad growing up, you know what to avoid. If you had a good dad growing up, you know what to emulate. Either way, within every man there is the possibility, placed by God, of being a good father.

 

– Children need their fathers to answer three main questions:

1. Dad, how do you feel about me?

• Don’t ever assume that they know you love them, express your love constantly.

• Teach your children that they are loved, they will have self-confidence and go places in life.

• Put your phone or computer to the side and look at your children in the eyes and talk to them.

2. Say something.

• Many men are hesitant to say, “I love you” because their fathers did not say it, but you need to get those words out — they are very impactful.

• No matter what the age is, the need for dad’s affirmation is always there.

• Praise your children, but make sure it is honest and real. Kids see through fakeness.

• Praise their character, not just what they do. Kids want to know that you really love them, not just for what they can do.

• Take advantage of failures — when your kids feel like they are filled in a certain area, that’s when you can jump in and tell them how you still believe in them, love them and no they can do it.

3. Dad, what do you hope for me?

• Be careful how you behave, because your sons will want to be like you and daughters want to marry a guy like you.

• Talk about their future in specific ways — where they will be living, will they marry, what they will be doing, etc.

• Dream with them. Don’t live out your dream through them, let them have their own dream.

• Being a good dad has hardly nothing to do with the inheritance you can leave, the college you will pay for, etc. It has to do with you believing in them and giving them hope.

– Play with your kids.

• When a dad is present, so many bad things are avoided and so many good things happen in the heart and life of a child.

– Pray with your kids.

• When you pray with children, it gives them a sense of security.

• Children are born with a faith that there is a God.

• Praying shows your children that even their strong dad needs to get on his knees to talk to God.

• Nothing will bring your family closer together than daily praying together.

– Be steady.

• Strive to be the voice of reason, dependable and faith.

– Be honest.

• If you want your children’s trust, you must be honest with them.

• Trust, integrity and truth are all part of being a hero.

• Don’t lie to your children, they should and need to know the truth.

• If you live a double life, when your kids find out, and they will find out, they will think that everything you have ever told them or did was all fake.

– Be firm.

• It might not be popular today to discipline, but you must be firm in your discipline.

• Too many people want to be friends with their children instead of the adult, but they need you as their dad.

• Being a disciplinarian has nothing to do with being harsh, cruel, critical or hurtful, it has to do with enforcing the rules that have been laid out in the family.

• In a study of men that were incarcerated, one of the common traits they had was that no one ever told them no. They did not have a disciplinarian, someone to put their foot down when needed.

• Give a bedtime, make them eat what is put before them, make them have chores and put this on in their lives.

• No matter what kids say, they need and want to feel protected.

– Stay committed

• Dads can be great teachers of what it means to be stay committed.

• You will not always feel like going to work, being nice, loving your wife or any number of things, but you must stay committed.

– As a father, our words have enormous impact. We might not realize it but our children and wife does. Your words are never just words to your children and wife, they have the power to hurt or heal, tear down or build up.

– We are all tempted to lash out and say things, but keeping your cool will help you not regret later the hurtful things that you said.

– Learn to be a master communicator with your children – use the “car” acronym:

C – correction. There are going to be times when you have to correct your children for things they did. If you are angry, you need to wait. Be firm and correct your children. Do not let anger control you and lash out your children.

A – Affirmation. Dads are pretty good at affirming their daughters but not their sons because they feel it is less need it — but this is not true. Children need to know that they are valuable to you and to God, so let them know. Tell them how you admire them, trust them, respect them and believe in them. Make eye contact. Speak less, listen more. Be available and be engaged.

R – Respect. If you want respect, you have to learn to show respect. No, there’s no excuse for a kid to lack respect to his parents, but there’s no excuse that a dad should lack respect to his wife or children either. Giving respect will gain and get respect.

– Say no takes courage, but it is right. You have to learn to say no to certain things even when children slam doors or get upset about it.

– What you say matters. If your child ever hears you, whether on the phone or to your spouse or to a friend, say anything negative about them (their figure, lack of ability, etc.), it will take them years to get over it.

– God does not force us to love him. He died for us, cares for us and watches over us, but He does not force us to love him. We as dad’s should do everything to love our children but let our children love us back instead of trying to force them to love us.

– Have courage. Courage to stay committed. Courage to live right. Courage to say I’m sorry when you have lost your temper or need to ask forgiveness for something. Learn the art of forgiveness. Ask it for yourself and give it to others.

– Identify whatever obstacles between you and becoming a better father. Whether they are a hobby, bad habit, fear, anger towards them or towards your spouse or whatever it may be, identify it and then work at overcoming it. Your kids need you.

– Being a hero dad does not mean that you get everything perfect right, it means that you get the big things right — that you are committed and courageous to love them and do what’s right.