His Needs, Her Needs

His Needs, Her Needs--Revised and Expanded: Willard F. Harley Jr ...

His Needs, Her Needs

by Willard F. Harley, Jr.


– How affair-proof is your marriage?

– One spouse’s needs are not necessarily the other spouse’s needs.

– Getting coaching from your wife is what a smart man does — if she feels like holding hands in public, a small kiss, hug when you see her, or whatever makes her feel cherished, then do that. Ask your wife in order to become a better husband.

– Too many wives are starving for affection because their husband does not understand what she considers affectionate. Find out.

– When a man will learn to be affectionate with his wife, he will find out that both his and her sex lives will be more fulfilling.

– Luke 6:31 — use the golden rule in your marriage; treat your spouse like you want to be treated.

– Couples that have a good and happy marriage purposefully schedule time together for each other.

– The first step in any affair is usually affectionate conversation (intimate conversation). Husbands must take their job as a communicator seriously.

– There are enemies to intimate conversation:

1. Making demands instead of requests

2. Being disrespectful

3. Expressing anger

4. Dwelling on mistakes, past or present


– There are friends of intimate conversation:

1. Conversing to inform, investigate and understand.

2. Develop an interest in your spouse’s favorite topic of conversation. You may feel that your spouse is not a talker, but if you begin talking about your spouse’s interest, they will come out of their shell.

3. Balance the conversation. Unless you’re both a good listener and a good talker, it’s not intimate conversation.

4. Give each other undivided attention. Watching TV, looking at a device or simply not paying attention, will greatly frustrate your spouse.

– Spouses that enjoy the same recreational activities have a deeper bond.

– Transparency should be one of the key elements in every marriage. Many people say that each individual needs their own privacy, but if you expect to have a good and healthy marriage, you must be open and transparent in every area.

– Openness and honesty is always the best policy in marriage. Some people are afraid that their honesty of the past or future may hurt their spouse, but this honesty is what hurts a spouse, honesty.

– Child training does not come natural to a dad, but one of the best ways to learn this is to ask your wife.

– A man thrives on admiration.

– Criticism is the opposite of admiration.

– Praise and admiration should never be fake.

– Many men that had an affair have expressed to the author that their new lover admired them and their spouse did not.

– Spouses that are partners with life no secrets and are open about everything (emails, texts, passwords, schedules, friends, etc.).

– A couple can go from being irresistible towards each other to being incompatible to each other by leaving off each other’s basic needs.

– Secrets are the step stones to an affair. Decide that there will be no secrets in your marriage. Radical honesty, openness and transparency are best. Genesis 2:28 says they were both naked and unashamed — they had nothing to hide.

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