Category: Helpful Resources

TED Talks Storytelling

by Akash Karia

 

– The magic ingredient to making a TED talk is storytelling. Stories allow you to get your idea across to people without appearing you are lecturing them.

– The opening of the speech is super important. If you do not grab your listeners attention in the first 30 seconds of your speech, they will tune out. Open your speech with a story. Introductory remarks such as “hello, my name is, I’m glad to be here”, etc., are boring. Dive straight into a story – that is one of the greatest techniques of getting people hooked into your message.

– Stories take people on the mental journey. Stories are hardwired in our brain. Any audience cannot resist a well told story even if they try.

– A story without a conflict is not a good story. The conflict will make you think or wonder what is about to happen, put you on the edge of your chair and get you guessing at where the story is going. If there is no suspense, if everyone knows where you are going with the story, it is not a good story. When you arouse your audience’s emotions, they will have no choice but to be totally hooked in your story.

– Use personal stories. Do not just tell a story that you have heard, share a story of a personal experience that happened to you. If it is something that really happened to you, you will not have to practice or fake certain gestures, because they will be natural to you since it is your story.

– Engaging an audience is more than just giving information, it is creating a mental image in their mind. People remember how you looked and how you said it and they will likely be changed by it. Sharing a story is much more than simply telling, it is showing. Sharing information with your audience creates a mental picture of how the characters in your story look.

– There are five senses that we use to connect with the world. By using more senses in your story, it is more memorable. Use the five senses and your speech:

V – visual. They visualize what you are saying. Are you giving details so they can see it?

A – auditory. What you can hear.

K – kinesthetic. Positions and movements. Physically or emotionally.

O – olfactory. Sense of smell… make them feel they can smell it by how descriptive you are.

G – gustatory. What can they taste from your speech. As a result of using the senses, your speech will be remembered and embedded in the minds of your listeners.

 

– In order to turn your speech into a movie for your listeners, provide as many details as possible. Give specific details. Non-specific details will not paint a picture in peoples minds.

– The spark. The spark is the point in the message that gives hope, where the story changes and inspires. The spark is what caused the person to change and be inspired to do whatever he/she did.

– There should be characters in your story.

– There should be a conflict in your story.

– There should be a change in the story.

– There should be a Takeaway for the listeners. What is the point of your story? What do you want the people to remember? Make the key of your story into a short memorable or catchy phrase.

– No conflict = no curiosity = no interest.

– Leave your audience with and on an emotional high, on a high point of the story.

Stopping Stress Before it Stops You

by Kevin Leman

 

Disclaimer: this book is written for mothers but I have enjoyed several of the author’s books so I thought I would check it out and see what is applicable for everyone. Since it seems many people get stressed, I thought there could be some principles applicable for everyone. So here it is…

 

– You can minimize stress and use it as a positive tool in your life.

– Stressing out is a preventable disease.

– Stress comes from pressure. Life is a pressure cooker of stress.

– When an accident (or close-to-accident) or situation occurs, our adrenaline is pumped up and then goes back down. When we are stressed, the same occurs. If we stay stressed, the adrenaline continues and that continual adrenaline can cause ulcers, cancer and more.

– Why is it that a society like ours that has almost everything is so stressed? Much is because we do not want to wait and we want everything now.

– It is your perception of something that turns it into stress. Your job as well as anything else is not your point of stress, it is your perception of the situation that is your stress.

– Why is it that some people get stressed over a job, their boss or other situations while other people do not get stressed – it is their perception that makes them stressed.

– If you like to control, you will very likely be stressed more.

1. Children can be one of the biggest points of stress.

– Babies cry, fuss and don’t sleep. Then they turned into two-year-olds and climb around and get into everything… and the cycle only continues.

– If you let your children be in front of your marriage, they will run your life. You need to make sure that they are not first place in your life.

– All children are natural getters

– You need to let your children stay with someone else and not think you always have to be with them or right beside them.

– If your child throws a temper tantrum, don’t run to him/her, just walk out or away from them to let them realize you’re not going to run to the rescue.

– Unattainable goals of trying to be the perfect parent will only make you more frustrated and stressed.

2. Lack of Time is another point of stress.

– Take smaller bites out of life.

– Sometimes you have to say no.

3. Marriage is another point of stress.

– Make your wife part of your decisions, that shows you value her.

4. Another big source of stress is money.

– We never have enough and we always want more than we have.

– It seems that the easy answer to stress is to just take some pills but that they will likely never solve the root problem.

– A simple secret to cutting out stress is work on your priorities. You have the potential to arrange things in a way that can cut out the stress. Seems simple, and everyone knows this, but if you want to get out of stress work on your priorities.

– It is hard to get people off of their proverbial stress treadmills, they just continue forward to exhaustion and burnt out. You must change something and do something different to cut the stress out.

– Quit worrying about stuff and just face it.

– Most of what we worry about does not even happen.

– Do the unpleasant things first and get them over with and then reward yourself by dealing with the smaller things.

– Adopt the motto that if money will fix it, then it’s really not a problem. If you can fix the situation by buying another compressor, fixing a part, etc., than it is a manageable problem.

– Stress may get you down momentarily, but you do not have to let it keep you there.

– Our body can only take so much. When we put our body under too much stress, something has to give and something will give.

– You need your own game plan, a way to unplug and de-stress.

– One of the best answers to dealing with stress is being in tune with your Maker.

– Get enough rest – that is not just sleep, it is relaxing or doing something that will allow you to get away from routine (walking, sitting down, jogging, etc.).

– Develop a hobby.

– Have a group of friends.

– Recognize the things that cause stress in your life and when your body says it is too much, than back off.

– Avoid packing your day so full that you don’t have time to think.

– Share your feelings – whether to a person, on paper (journal) or in prayer, share your feelings with someone.

– Watch only a certain amount of news or certain talkshows and programs. You can only taken so much negative news, so be careful.

– Build stress relievers in your workday. Take a walk at lunch hour, drink a cup of coffee, try not to take your work home, and learn to wind down before you go home or when you are with family. Control your job or your job will control you.

Start

by Jon Acuff

 

– Instead of waiting until you are asked to do something or that a certain time comes, just go ahead and start now.

– People that we think are geniuses were not able to make any shortcuts, they just started learning at a earlier age.

– Stand on the shoulders of giants.

– Work harder and smarter.

– Luck is a word that lazy people use to describe someone who has worked hard to make it to where they are at.

– Your practice will determine how you play in the game.

– Don’t climb the entitlement letter – if you have to tell people do you know who I am, you yourself have already forgotten.

– Both doubt and fear are like muscles, if you keep using them they will only get stronger.

– You must kill doubt and fear or they will kill you.

– Be lead, be taught, be a learner.

– Learning from others is something that will catapult you to the next level.

– Volunteer and take every opportunity you get to do what you enjoy.

– You’ll never become good if you do not practice and persist.

– Do not spend more time promoting what you do than practicing what you do. Promoting will make others think that you are a master, practicing will make you a master.

Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts

by Les and Leslie Parrott

 

– We sometimes say until death do us part, but with so many divorces and struggles in marriage, we should really say until divorce do us part.

– If we spend as much time planning our marriage as we do planning our wedding, things may be different. The lack of planning in a marriage has stunted many marriages.

– There are myths in marriage.

1. We expect the same expectations after marriage that we had before marriage. Before someone gets married they want to do everything together and spend every waking moment together, believing that’s how their marriage always will be but that is not the case.

2. Everything in life and marriage will only get better. Things do not just magically get better, you have to work through them. The person you are married to is not perfect it might not be how you imagined, so you have to work through things.

3. Everything bad will just disappear – Cinderella story mindset. Many people marry to avoid or escape from unpleasant situations. Most everyone gets married to improve their well-being but both individuals of the same thought episode (want to escape or avoid home situation) leads to frustration. Marriage in one way is just a way of living, we do not expect to have a rosy life outside of marriage so why should we when we get married.

4. My spouse will make me whole These are the people that believe they will be nourished and made whole by being married. They want to be nourished instead of nourishing. – Love without intimacy is just an illusion.

– Each individual has their own idea of what love is and the wise spouse will figure out the definition of their spouse’s love to be able to fulfill it.

– The most powerful sex organ that you have is your brain.

– Lifelong love does not happen by chance, it’s something that must be worked out by two individuals working together.

– Three practices that meaningful marriages practice to have lifelong love:

1. Practice meaningful touch. This is the language of passion. Successful marriages are diligent to practice meaningful touch.

2. Complement your spouse daily. Complements feel good, both to give and to receive.

3. Continue dating Love does not sustain itself, it takes time and effort. Schedule lunches together or special time together.

– Not listening to your spouse or your marriage. We have a habit of not letting them finish their idea or jumping to conclusions. Love is cultivated. Listen not just to the story they’re sharing but to the feelings that come along with what they’re saying.

– Unconditionally accept. Your spouse should not have to walk on egg shells thinking that if they do not do something exactly how you like it there will be a blowup or they’ll not be loved.

– Focus on what you have in common instead of the differences. Instead of thinking or stating that you like sweets and they like salty, talk about how you are both involved in a specific area, both enjoy a specific hobby, etc.

– After three doctors studied over 6,000 marriages and 3,000 divorce, they concluded that when a couple has determination to get through something, they almost always do. Commitment is the mortar that holds them together.

– Happiness in marriage has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with will.

– Life always has un-forseen circumstances that will come your way, and as a couple you have to determine that no matter what, you will get through them.

– Blaming your spouse for things just takes the responsibility off of yourself and will not solve any problems.

– Marriage was never meant to make you happy, you are supposed to make your marriage happy.

– Couples report that the number one problem in their marriage is the breakdown of communication. Whether you sync or swim in your marriage will depend on your communication skills.

– It is so important to learn how to communicate so that your spouse will listen and how to listen so that your spouse can communicate.

– Nonverbal communication consists of 58% of the communication. The tone in which you say it consists of 35% and only 7% consists of the words that you say.

– The best way to know how your spouse feels is to put yourself in their shoes. That is empathy and will help you understand them.

– The communication skills can be narrowed down to six tools:

1. Make “I” statements, not “you” statements.

2. Practice reflective listening.

3. Understand and accept the differences between men and women.

4. Apologize when necessary.

5. Power down and get off line.

6. Communicate through touch.

– Communication is not what you say but what your partner understands what you said.

 

– Conflict is inevitable in a relationship, but we have to learn to fight in a fair way. 

1. Do not run from strife. Avoiding it or not talking about it will not solve the problem. We have to talk about it.

2. Choose your battles carefully. Although love may be blind, marriage is like a magnifying glass. Couples cannot decide on what movie to watch, what to eat, where to go, etc. Learn what can and should be changed as well as learning what should be overlooked. So before you gripe about something, ask yourself if it is worth starting a fight over. Some things are gender issues, some things should be overlooked and something should really be changed.

3. Define the issue clearly. Before you fight, make sure you are clear about what you’re fighting about – is the argument really about something that happened yesterday or is this a real issue?

4. State your feelings directly. Do not be general, tell your spouse your exact feelings and why.

– It is not so important how you started the argument as it is important how you exit the argument. Learn to defuse the argument instead of keeping it going.

– A couple that prays together will almost always get through problems and have a better marriage.

– While praying with each other is important in marriage, praying for each other is just as important. 

Relationships 101

by John Maxwell

 

– Relationships are the glue that hold teams together

– You will be involved with others in almost every stage & area of life, the question is how successful will you be in the involvement.

– Relationships begin with respect.

– Find common ground to have relationships.

– You must have trust to continue in a relationship.

– Becoming relational will bring you success both individually and corporally (as a team).

– Understanding one another is very important in relationships.

– The least important word in relationship is “I” and the most important word is “you”.

– Learn to say “thank you” and “I am sorry”. Learn to ask what their opinion is. Don’t forget to tell them they did a good job. Try to understand them.

– Different people need encouragement in different ways and the failure to understand this will be the failure to relate and help people.

– People know everyone wants to be somebody with their life. If you treat people as if they are important, they will understand that you believe in them and see them as somebody important.

– Everybody can be somebody when you will simply believe in them and do small gestures to show that.

– Have faith in people even before they have ever accomplished anything.

– Believe in others: Believe in them before they succeed. Emphasize their strengths. Focus on their strengths. Tell them how you appreciate their strengths both privately and publicly. List their past successes. Help them remember their past successes, that will help them have confidence in their own-selves.Instill confidence when they fail. What people fail, they can either give in or go on. Many are not strong enough to keep going, so you can help them. Tell them about your own failures and mess-ups, and how you overcame them. Experience some wins together. Much of winning is motivation. Vision casting. Cast of vision for others give them hope. Expect a new level of living.

– Learn to listen:

• Listen shows respect.

• The ears of a leader should ring with the voices of his people.

• Be impressive by listening, don’t try to be impressive by talking.

• Listening well gains you both friends and respect.

• You can learn about people when you will just listen.

• All great learners are great listeners.

• A problem with many leaders is that they will listen less and less as they get more authority. They forget how to listen.

• A deaf ear is a sign of a closed mind.

• When you quit listening, people will find someone else who will listen to them.

– Commit yourself to confidentiality and respectability. Be trustworthy with the information when people talk to you. – You have to love your people and lead them at the same time.

– Put others ahead of your own needs.

– Just about anyone will serve others when they have to, but very few will initiate serving others.

– Make it your goal to move through the crowd and find people’s wants and needs. Then go home and make a list of how you can help those people.

Radicals and Visionaries

by Thaddeus Wawro

 

This book was interesting to me because it gave short biographies of men and women that were successful. With many, the odds against them and their ideas were not accepted. They did not necessarily have the money or contacts, but they had a dream and made it happen. I believe this book can be useful applying to starting a church and team on the mission field. Don’t be afraid to try new things or to launch out believing something may be a good idea or may work… you’ll never know if you don’t try.

 

– Pretend that every person you meet in life has a sign around them that says make me feel important – this will not only help in business, but also in life.

– Sell your products at a reasonable price and your customers will always come back.

– Satisfied customers will always give you more customers.

– One of the true qualities of a good entrepreneur is the ability to see opportunities that others do not see and take a risk.

– If you go around asking a lot of full of questions and writing them down, you will likely succeed.

– Spend less time talking about what you do well it more time on improving what you don’t do as well.

– Give extra courtesy to people and treat your own people well.

– Treat the community right.

– Treat your shareholders right and they will treat you right.

– Aim to do something better than everyone else.

– You fail if you do not try.

– Success is often achieved by those who do not know failure.

– You don’t have to be a visionary, genius or even college graduate to be successful, you just need to have a dream.

– If you can dream it, you can do it – Walt Disney

– Good taste is good business.

– Most successful people do not accept the status quo.

– Give them quality, that is the best advertisement in all the world

– Learn to bounce back after failure.

– Commit to not giving up.

– Get your start by getting started.

– There is only one boss and that is the customer; you can fire everyone from the chairman on down – Sam Walton.

– Use technology and keep up-to-date with things.

– A firm, unshakable belief in what they were doing is needed.

– A stubbornness to move forward even when people do not agree or do not understand.

– You have to struggle in order to get what you are aiming for and many people quit at time of struggles.

– Don’t measure your success in how much money you make but by how good your product is.

– Treat your employees right:

• Share your profit with your employees.

• Show sensitivity to your employees needs.

• Let both managers and employees make decisions. Give your employees benefits they can’t get anywhere else.

• Win the respect and trust from your employees.

– When you see a barrier, you can cry, but get a ladder and climb over it.

– Do not let money, problems, popularity, status quo, or anything else stop you from your dream.

– You have to believe in success and you have to go after it. It is work, it is a positive outlook, it is courage and it is a dream. The secret of success lies within.

– Give samples of your product and let people have a taste of it.

– The art of salesmanship is letting the customer have it their way.

– Everyone has talent, it’s just a matter of moving around until you find out what it is.

– Always keep your eye on the operation.

– It is choice, not chance that will determine your testimony.

– If you snooze, you lose. If you have an opportunity, take a chance and put your best foot forward.

– A product should be needed by many people and should solve a problem.

– No one can be a success unless they love their work.

– Aspire to do something that will make a difference.

– Provide an atmosphere that is good and comfortable for both your employees and clients.

Public Speaking to Win

by Dale Carnegie

 

– Nearly everything powerful in life comes down to how you say it, your persuasion.

– Have an air-tight knowledge of the subject you’re speaking about.

– Use plain language, illustrations and stories.

– Appeal to your listeners by talking

– Preparation requires thinking, studying, and getting to know your subject well.

– What topics should you speak on? Anything that interests you.

– When preparing a speech, collect 100 thoughts about the topic and discard 90 of them. Be over prepared.

– Notes will distract or destroy any intimacy between the speaker and listener’s. Be very cautious of using notes. Notes should be the emergency tool, something you have to make you feel safe but you do not necessarily use them. If you do have to use notes, make it very discreet, glancing only every once in a while where nobody can detect it.

– Get comfortable with your talk. Walk around practicing it. Rehearse it in your head and be ready.

– Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is one of the most important ingredients in selling something or getting something done.

– Every time we speak, we determine the spirit of our listeners. If we are lackadaisical, they will be as well. If we are not concerned, they will not be concerned either. If we are reserved, they will be as well. But if we are excited and convinced about what we are speaking about, our spirit will be contagious.

– Do not lean against the table, do not rock back-and-forth, stand up straight and tall. Control yourself physically to show that you are at ease and in control, if not they will know that you are nervous and unprepared.

– Look at your audience as with a sense of what you are saying is urgent and important.

– Use gestures, they will reveal importance, enthusiasm and excitement.

– The finest thing that you can do in your speech is not physical or mental, it is spiritual, loving people. If you can love others and think of others while you’re speaking, it will make the greatest difference.

– Use certain words while you’re speaking, keywords. Vary your tone of speech going up and down. Slow down at times and speed up at other times, but do not stay monotone. Pause before and after important parts of your speech.

– Before your speech, get rested up. It is not good to go before others when you’re tired.

– Eat sparingly before you speak. Do not eat too much, just enough to nurture you.

– Stand near your listeners, get them all together, breakdown the formalities and be close to them in order to speak intimately to them.

– The gestures of the speaker should be depend on the character of the speaker. Do not act like someone you’re not.

– It is seldom that a story is funny, it is often how the story is told that makes it funny.

– Never start a speech by apologizing. Why insult a group of people by telling them that you are not ready or did not prepare enough, etc.

– Arouse your audience with the first sentence of your speech. Catch their attention right away.

– Study how magazine and newspaper articles hook readers with their titles. You can learn more from them then you can from listening to multiple speeches.

– Be very clear, talking in terms that the people understand.

– Talk to the people about subjects that interest them. Remember that everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.

– Always remember that your audience will be only interested in the subject to the degree that you are interested in the subject.

– Be distinctive. Do not just use coined phrases that everyone knows, say it in a fresh way.

The Power of Discipline

7 Ways It Can Change Your Life

By Brian Tracy

 

– Success is tons of discipline.

– Do what you should do when you should do it whether you feel like it or not.

– You can know all about any subject, but unless you discipline yourself to do what you’re supposed to do you will never succeed.

– With self-discipline you can rise above the average, but without self-discipline it doesn’t matter how many good qualities, background or finances that you have, you will never go above average.

 

1. Self-discipline and Goals

• If you do not know where you are going, you will not know how to get there.

• You will hit every target that you do not aim for.

• A goal that is not written down is like smoke, it just vanishes away.

• Set a deadline for your goal, a time when you want to achieve it. And then set steps needed to acquire that goal.

• Organize a list by both sequence and priority.

 

2. Self-discipline and Character

• Hold a higher expectation for yourself more than anyone else and be more lenient with everyone else.

• When you are under serious pressure is when your true character is revealed.

• Guard your integrity more than anything.

• Circumstances do not make a man, but they do reveal one.

 

3. Self-discipline and Time Management.

• If you do not conquer yourself, you will be conquered by self.

• Cannot manage time, you can only manage yourself.

• Time lost cannot be regained.

• You cannot save time, but you can spend it differently.

• Procrastination is the thief of life.

• You could tell the value that something has to you by how much time you spend doing it.

• It is only by looking how you spend your time will you and the others know what is important to you.

• The more you discipline yourself to use your time wisely, the happier you will feel the better quality of life you will live.

 

4. Self-discipline and Personal Health

• The five “P’s” of health health:

1. Proper weight

2. Proper diet – eat to live, don’t live to eat.

3. Proper exercise – this is important to your health and life. Exercise a minimum of three times a week.

4. Proper rest – most people do not rest enough, going to bed too late and not getting enough rest. You need brakes and vacations to recharge.

5. Proper attitude – The more optimistic that you are, the better your health is. An optimistic person has a better immune system, shielding against disease and sicknesses. And optimistic person bounces back quicker to sicknesses problems. Look for the good in every situation.

• Eat less and exercise more

 

. 5. Self-discipline and Money.

• The majority of financial problems is because of a lack of self-discipline and self control.

• You must rewire your brain to save

• Spend wisely instead of just spending money because you have it.

 

6. Self-discipline and Courage.

• Courage is not the lack of fear but controlling that fear.

• Everyone is afraid, but the courageous person will still do what needs to be done in spite of that fear.

• We can learn to do the opposite of fear.

• If you will imagine doing something, you could say “I can do it” instead of “I can’t do it” – every time you say “I can’t do it”, it will override fear and build your courage and boldness.

• There are two types of courage you don’t need it: courage to start (step out and launch) and courage of patients (to continue on until you have accomplished it).

The only way to defeat fear is to face it head-on.

• The companion of fear is worry.

 

7. Self-discipline and Responsibility.

• Accepting responsibility is one of the hardest things we can do.

• 85% of people never take responsibility for themselves; they blame, complain and criticize. People get burned by hot coffee and sue the restaurant, fall down because of negligence and sue someone else, etc. We cannot go through life blaming everyone else.

• It takes tremendous self-discipline to take responsibility for what happens instead of blaming others.

• The difference between success and failure is a choice. We must learn selfdiscipline to do what we should whether we feel like it or not.