Category: Book Reviews

Attitude 101

By John Maxwell

 

– Attitude can make or break you

– Talent is not enough

– Rotten attitudes ruin teams

– Attitude has the power to lift up or tear down the team.

– Attitudes are contagious

– How a person is will be detectable in how a person acts.

– Our attitude can turn problems into blessings.

– The right attitude, a positive perspective in life, will give you an edge on life.

– A poor attitude will take you places you don’t want to go

– We have all been dealt a hand of cards called life and it’s up to us on how we play those cards. A good attitude will make a great difference.

– It is never too late to change your attitude towards life.

– We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes.

– Who we are today is a result of the choices that we made yesterday. Who we will be tomorrow is a result of the choices that we make today.

– Anyone can change their attitude at any moment. Attitudes are not permanent, you can change them if you decide to.

– To change your attitude, evaluate your present attitude. You can only change things when you honestly identify what your current attitude is.

– Remember that the choice to change is the one decision that must take place and only you can make it.

– Eliminate certain words from your vocabulary: I can’t, if, doubt, i’m afraid, I don’t have time, it’s impossible, etc.

– Make the following words a part of your vocabulary: I can, I will, expect, I am confident, I do believe, etc.

– Attitude is nothing more than a habit of thought.

– Find the good in every bad experience – there’s always something to learn.

– Adversity does not have to give you a bad attitude. Adversity can help you grow, see other viewpoints, mature, and teach you many things.

– To have the right attitude, you have to learn to deal positively with failure.

– Attitude will determine how far you can go on the success journey.

– Your potential has room to grow. No matter what your age is or situation, you can always improve.

Approval Addiction

by Joyce Meyer

– Our flaws will certainly distract us if we allow them. We must get our eyes back on Christ.

– Realize who you are in Christ. Face the fears and find freedom. – You have to face the fact that you are accepted in Christ and that He is pleased by you — do not fear that.

– We are accepted because of our belief in Him, not our performance. If we were accepted because of what we do, we would be called achievers instead of believers.

– We like to focus on what we can do, but we should focus on what He did.

– Do you believe the God of the Bible or the god of your feelings?

– 2 Corinthian’s 5:17 teaches us that we are new in Christ. – We don’t have to be addicted to other people’s approval, because we already have God‘s approval.

– We suffer a lot of pain because we look for men to accept us when we should be satisfied that God accepted us. Don’t look to man for what we should be looking for from God.

– God is for us, He is on our side (Romans 8:31). If God is for us, why in the world would we be worried and concerned about what everyone else thinks?

– Knowing who you are in Christ will allow you to be confident. Knowing that you are accepted in Christ will allow you not to stress over what others think.

– True freedom comes when we realize we don’t need to get from man what God has already given us – love, approval, worth, value and acceptance.

– If you live for approval, you will be miserable; you will always be wondering if what you are doing is accepted by other people. Don’t live that way.

– Fear wants us to run away from things, but God does not want us to fear

– He has not given us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

– The devil wants us to feel guilty and contempt, but as a child of God there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1).

– We can approve of ourselves because God approves of us; we do not have to let other people’s approval control us.

– When we get or stay angry, we are letting the devil have a foothold in our lives.

– When our emotions are out of control, so are our lives.

– Focus on being a God-pleaser, not a self-pleaser or people-pleaser.

– People pleasers are people who fear rejection, failure and disapproval. They often compromise what they believe to gain the approval of others.

– Don’t be motivated by fear, be motivated by love – love for God and others.

– People pleasers do things out of duty instead of out of desire.

– Be careful of feeling a false sense of responsibility. It is not your responsibility to make everyone happy or to accept you.

– If you let people take advantage of you, it is your fault not theirs.

– Stand up to your critics or they will control you. Both Paul and Jesus had plenty of critics, but they were not controlled by the critics.

– It is offensive to God and definitely not His will if you allow anyone outside of the Holy Spirit to control your lives. He is the One who died for us and purchased us and we should not let anybody but Him control us.

– If you have been hurt by others in the past, receive healing from God and then go help other people.

– Give away what you want – if you want approval, approve others; if you want love, love others; if you want compliments from others, compliment others; if you want to receive, then start giving away to others.

100 Ways To Motivate Others

by Steve Chandler

 

– The first step in motivating others is to realize that if there is a problem, and you are the problem.

– To lead people, you must go ahead of them.

– To learn more, you must be quiet.

– You can’t motivate others, you have to teach other people how to motivate themselves. Motivation comes within a person.

– Tune in before you turn on — don’t just tell people how to do things, show them.

– If someone will not hear you, you cannot help them. You must be liked by and listen to others so that they will listen to you.

– Keep giving feedback, people need feedback. The managers that have the hardest time leading people are those that give the least amount of feedback.

– Continue asking, evaluating and becoming better. Good leaders are continually trying to improve.

– The job of a leader is to keep their people cheered up and ready to play the game.

– Lead from the front. Inspire them by letting them see you do it, not just telling them to do it.

– Be what you want them to be. If you want them to dress sharper, then dress sharper yourself. If you want them to be on time, then be on time yourself. If you want them to be less moody, then be less moody yourself.

– Leaders create but managers react.

– Make things a game and challenge instead of tedious and hard.

– Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the confidence of their employers.

– Ask yourself what others have done to motivate you, then turn around and do that to others.

 

– Learn the ART of conflict:

• Appreciate the person for what they do and give specific qualities of why you appreciate about them.

• Restate your own commitment to the person.

• Track the existing agreement. Create or rebuild a new agreement for the person that you’re talking with. People break other people’s rules, but they will keep their own agreement.

 

– Leaders don’t create followers, they create other leaders.

– Anyone can lead a perfect person, but there are no perfect people.

– Good leaders make other people feel important. – Know your people’s strengths.

– A good leader doesn’t try to just be right, they try to understand the people and help the people understand.

– Ask yourself, “If you were being managed by someone, what would you need to know from your boss?” then do that.

– Do your employees know what you expect? Do they know what a goal for the team looks like?

– Motivate by doing. Doers figure out what needs to be done, finds the way to do it and then does it.

– Most leaders have the habit of mentioning what is wrong, but you should look and find what is right and mention that.

– Remember that you as the leader are setting the tone.

– Communication solves most problems.

– Leadership takes ownership of the problem or situation.

– Your attitude and energy will be contagious. A frightened captain will have a frightened crew.

– The less you quit, the more you motivate.

– Act enthusiastic and your people will be enthusiastic.

– Life is not about you, or what you want, it’s more about doing what you’re expected to do.

– To motivate, talk less and demonstrate more.

– When you are in a meeting, don’t try to multitask. Looking at your phone, computer or doing something else is not multitasking, it is rude.

– The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.

– Quit disagreeing with people and listen to them. When you disagree with someone, they just defensive instead of getting on your side.

– You will have more fun when you stop trying to get what you want and start helping other people get what they want.

– Discipline yourself and no one else will have to discipline you.

– You can seek to be liked or you can gain other people’s trust.

-Before you send an email, look at it again. Is it upbeat? Does it sound mean?

– A good motivator/leader uses the problem, failure or past as a teaching point to better the future, not a beating posts to put someone down.

– A leader leads and a boss drives.

– Whatever you praise will be repeated, completed and focused in on.

– You get what you reward. Dedicate five or ten minutes every day to find a way to reward others — call, talk, note, email, etc.

52 Things Daughters Need From Their Dad’s

by Jay Payleitner

 

– Your daughter needs a perfect father that will love her, be with her and support her 24 hours a day for the rest of her life – that Father is our Heavenly Father. She needs to know God.

– A daughter needs alone time with her dad. The time alone with your daughter, will teach her many things. That time does not have to be extravagant, but it must be intentional.

– A daughter needs her dad to give her limits with her tight, short and immodest clothing.

– Have a daddy daughter date night and make it super special. Dress up and have fun.

– Don’t be afraid to act silly and make memories with your daughter(s).

– Think before you speak. Be cautious with the words and threats you make or use. Whoever screams first loses. – Ask her opinion on things and let her be a part of your life and you be a part of her life.

– A daughter needs her dad to let her know he’s proud of her.

– Be cautious and thoughtful with your jokes and smart comments – we live in a world where girls become anorexic and bulimic, think they are ugly, think about suicide and so much more. Affirm and reaffirm your love and acceptance of and for her.

– Make a big deal of her birthdays and special events.

– Going into your daughter’s room, knock first, and pray with her and for her.

– When your daughter asks you to do something, drop everything possible and be there for her.

– Your daughter needs to know that you would choose her over all the other children in the world.

– A daughter needs her dad to tell her that he is glad she is a girl – never let your daughter think that you wished she was born a boy.

– When life gives your daughter lemons, you as her dad need to help her make lemonade.

– You as dad are the best person to let your daughter know about the transformation that God did in your life.

– Be there for as many special moments in your daughters life, support her and her activities in life.

– Have a daddy daughter secret, whether snack, place to go to talk, favorite fishing spot or something unique and special between the two of you.

– Your daughter needs warnings from dad (about sex, bad guys, clothes, etc,)

– Ask your daughter specific questions and wait for her and listen to her.

– A daughter needs her dad to know how to let her go when that time comes.

11 Keys to Excellence

by John Maxwell

 

– Excellence is not an event, it’s a process, it’s a discipline.

– The Message that you will be asked to give in 20 years is being prepared right now… most people do not understand this truth.

– Most people wait until the last minute to prepare a message or give a speech — prepare now.

– Excel things to go beyond average.

1. Value Excellence • Do not compare to how others are doing, know what you are capable of doing.

• Are you cheating other people?

• People recognize good strong effort wherever you are and whatever you do.

• When we try to take shortcuts on people, we end up short cutting and cheating ourselves.

• Do your very best by putting all of your effort into it. 2. Never settle for Average.

• A race horse that can run one-second faster than other horses is worth a lot more than every other horse.

• Mediocre literally means halfway up a stony mountain.

• People that strive for excellence instead of melancholy are above average.

3. Pay attention to Details

• A small leak will sink a great ship.

4. Developed a Deep Commitment to Excellence

• Your goal is not to be better than anyone else, just be the best you can be and you will become better than others.

• We many times are tempted to have a just-get-by attitude.

5. Possess Ethics and integrity

• You can never replace honesty and integrity.

6. Show Genuine Respect for Others

• Excellence becomes a lifestyle when we learn to show respect to and for others.

• You cannot respect another you secretly think is a nobody.

7. Go the 2nd Mile

• If you do little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.

• Rebecca, in the Bible, stood out because she did not just offer water to Abrahams servant, she offered water to both him as well as to his camels.

• We often ask what we are going to get out of something instead of stating what we are going to give towards something.

8. Demonstrate Consistency

9. Never Stop Improving

10. Always Give 100%

11. Make Excellence a Lifestyle

10 Secrets for the Man in the Mirror

by Patrick Morley

 

– To succeed at work but fail at home is to failure all together.

– Enjoy the present progress instead of worrying about the future unknown.

– We can grow because of suffering, but we must be careful not to suffer from the wrong things. Most men suffer from the following three things: marriage, money and media.

– Encouragement is food for the heart and most men are dying of starvation.

– Many men know about God but do not really know God.

– Do what you don’t necessarily want to do so that you can become what you want to be.

– The more you give away, the happier you will be.

– Steward your time and responsibilities according to what you have, not according to what you want.

– You will find your happiness by helping others find their happiness. True happiness is only in God, so helping someone else find God is helping them find their true happiness.

– If your actions do not line up with your belief system, you might not believe the right thing.

– Humor is an antidote to stress and lightens everything up.

– If you want to be loved, start loving others.

4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication

by Bento C. Leal III

 

– If you are like the average person, you want to have good relationships. Good relationship don’t come by accident, they come with work and overtime, and your communication will make your relationships much better.

– Empathy is an essential relationship ingredient.

• Empathy is to see from another persons point of view and put yourself in their shoes.

• Sympathy is to feel for someone or something, but empathy is to see from their point of view.

4 Empathic awareness skills:

Key One: Each person is unique, special and valuable.

– Fill your mind with positive self-talk instead of negative, it will come out.

– Your thoughts produce your actions.

– Recognize the dignity of others, they are worthy of respect.

– Each person is placed in our life for a specific reason. There’s something that we can learn from them and something that we can teach them.

– Each person has their strengths and weaknesses, their good things and quirks, but each person is unique, special and valuable.

– Each person has something that they can teach us and help us grow, so see them that way.

– Act loving and you will feel loving. You are more apt to act and then feel instead of trying to feel and then act.

– See everyone you come in contact with as a person that can help you grow in your love, patience, forgiveness and gratitude.

– To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may just be the world.

– Think of the positives in your relationship with that person.

 Key Two: Most people do not listen to understand, they listen to reply.

– Much of communication is not verbal, it is eye contact, body language, etc.

– Because many people do not listen fully to the other person, they respond according to their assumption and not according to what the other person said.

– Listen to the feelings of the person and not only to the words. If you listen only to the words, you might miss something.

– Listening is really an active action.

– Interrupting when someone is speaking to finish their thoughts or give your advice will cause frustration.

– Let the person finish even if you think you know what they’re going to say. This will help and shows respect.

– Repeat back what the person said. This will avoid pitfalls and misunderstandings. It also shows that you think what the other person said was important enough to both listen and repeat back what was said.

– Connect with emotions and feelings by listening.

– Listen and don’t worry about offering advice.

– A sincere apology as an opener may be the exact thing needed to start a good conversation and have a good relationship.

– An apology works wonders to fix a relationship.

– If you are a fixer, you may cause your spouse or the other person to get hurt or frustrated.

– Don’t try to be a mind reader.

– Don’t filter what you hear.

– Don’t space out while they’re talking.

– Don’t advise when someone is talking.

– Don’t try to one-up the person with a story you have.

– Don’t rehearse your answer.

Key Three: How can I say something that will help and they will listen to.

– Clarify your thoughts before you speak — if you blurt, you hurt. Don’t blurt out before thinking through the best way to say it. Think before you speak.

– Don’t use “you” statements, use “I” statements.

– It’s not what you say but what people hear.

– Pause for the listeners response.

– Thank them for listening to you

– Expressing yourself when you’re upset will likely result in you say hurtful things.

Key Four: Empathic Dialogue

– Dialogue goes back and forth and involves both talking and listening.

– Empathic listening takes time but not near as long as fixing a relationship for not listening.

– Applaud, Admire and Appreciate others.

– Your relationships will only grow and improve as you grow and improve.

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

by Patrick Lencioni

 

Most companies faults prey to five pitfalls of a team, five dysfunctions of a team.

1. Absence of Trust Functional teams trust each other.

If you don’t trust others, you cannot produce results. Teams must open up to each other. Trust lies at the core of a functional and cohesive team.

Trust says that there’s confidence between team members and that other team members have the common good in mind for the team. When team members are truly comfortable with each other, they do not walk around protecting themselves.

The team should find everyone’s weaknesses and strengths on the team. In a team meeting, have each individual take a moment to talk about his/her own strengths and weaknesses

– the exercise can be very helpful for the team. It is important to know that each individual has his/her own distinct personality and preferences – it is good to know about each person.

2. Fear of Conflict

All great relationships require conflict to grow — marriage, friendship, parenting and business. It is important to decipher interpersonal conflict & fighting from constructive conflict.

Healthy conflict is actually a timesaver. You must first acknowledge that the right kind of conflict is healthy and does not need to be avoided. A leader will make dysfunction amongst the team thrive by avoiding constructive conflict.

3. Lack of Commitment

Failure to Buy-in Decisions Commitment is a dysfunction of two things: clarity and buy-in. When people feel like they don’t get it (purpose, reason for doing something, etc.), they will not get buy-in or get on board.

People need to weigh-in before they can buy-in People know that not everyone has to agree with them, but they should be heard.

Everyone’s ideas should be heard and considered so that they will genuinely buy-in. Until each member of the team has placed their thoughts and opinions on the table can they make a wise decision that others will buy into. When a leader fails to consider buy-in from his people, frustration and dysfunction will follow.

4. Avoidance of Accountability

People will not hold each other accountable for something if they have not bought into it. Accountability is a buzzword that has lost its power.

Team members must be able to call out others on performance and commitment. Keep each other accountable on what has been agreed upon. The discomfort of telling someone something will cause many to avoid it for personal comfort.

A team must respect each other enough to keep each other accountable.

5. Inattention to Results

The tendency is usually to care about everything else except for the good of the team as a whole. We should put our own ego or priorities to the side for that of the team.

Every person must know the most important things (priorities, goals, tasks, etc.) that need to be done in order to work on them. Is it customer service, personal revenue, etc.? What is the overarching goal?

Are you making the team better or making it dysfunctional? Successful teams overcome the dysfunctions.