Category: Book Reviews

The Tech-Wise Parenting

by Andy Crouch

 

– Technology is in its right place when it helps us bond with people with whom we are close. Technology is not in its right place when it disconnects us from those we love while trying to connecting us with people at a distance we don’t even know.

– Technology is in its place when it helps start conversations, but it is not in its place when it kills conversation and makes us ignore one another.

– When technology replaces skills for passive action, something has gone wrong.

– Technology will not stay in its place on its own, you have to put it in its place.

– Our homes are not supposed to be refuel stations — a place where we, along with our devices, to refuel and continue on. Our homes are supposed to be places where there is joy and great memories made.

 

– The 10 Tech-Wise Commitments:

1. We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.

• Technology helps us get many things done and is very advantageous, but technology cannot provide you with the core issues of relationships.

• Technology can be a very big distraction to spending quality time with the ones we truly love.

• Children are driven to create if we will just nudge them instead of letting them zone into technology that someone else created and requires little thinking.

2. We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.

3. We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together.

• We are required to work required to rest. God made both of them.

• We would do good to turn our devices off, leaving the world of technology for a time so that we can both work, rest and enjoy what God has given us.

• Instead of taking our devices to the playground when our children play, we should leave them behind to participate in our child’s life.

• When it’s a nasty day outside, instead of rushing to our device, maybe we should think about grabbing a book, cooking, playing a game or just talking.

• We should have a day and a time when we turn all devices off and focus on being with each other as a family.

• Set aside devices at the table.

4. We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.

• We need sleep unlike our devices. We need to unplug, rest and sleep for at least 1/3 of the day to continue going strong – unlike our devices.

• Sleep is absolutely needed. Depriving someone of sleep is one of the most cruel punishment. 5. Learning and working

• Our children must learn how to use their hands and feet to play and run around. We are only hurting them when we immobilize them by handing them a screen that requires very little movement or thinking.

• Our children will spend much of their lives with technology and screens, so while young we should teach skills and creativity instead of look at a device that requires very little.

• Make your children learn to be creative and find activities as opposed to throwing a screen in front of them.

• Not placing your children in front of a TV, game or other kind of screen as a pastime requires creativity, energy and patience from the parent just as much as from the child.

• Kids learn how to use technology super fast, so requiring them to do other activities instead of using technology as response to boredom will help them with their motor skills. We are robbing children of their childhood when we don’t allow them to have dirt under their fingers instead of throwing technology as the answer to their boredom.

6. We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.

• Boredom did not exist in the dictionary until the 18th century. Today we have unlimited amount of technology and we are full of boredom. We are so technology-based that we get bored easier. It would do us and our children good to unplug from technology and look at nature and all the amazing things that can be seen with the guys outside of technology.

7. Car time is conversation time

• One of the places where you’re forced to be together in one space with the captive audience is in your vehicle. You may hate the idea of driving, but this can turn out to be a sweet surprise for conversing.

• Car time can be some of the greatest conversation time if we will allow it to be.

• It is said that a real conversation takes at least seven minutes before getting into a subject of importance. On around the seventh minute, someone will take a risk and begin speaking about something personal. The sad side of our technology is that it prevents us to arrive to a deep conversation before we go back to looking at the screen. What might be on the other end of the seven minute mark will never be discovered because we are interrupted with  technology and therefore the risks are never taken to become deeper conversations.

• By accident, we have taught our children that the car is one more boring spot that we have to be in to get somewhere, so just fill it with more technology to get through it.

• So make the rule that car time is going to be conversation time – for a minimum of seven minutes or more.

8. Spouses should have one another’s passwords and parents should have unrestricted access to their children’s devices.

• Sex was created to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage, but technology has made it to be seen by anyone at anytime and broken all confidentiality.

• Children can find out what sex is and means because technology is available to tell them and show them absolutely anything that they want or think of.

• An astonishing 62% of young people said that they have received a nude picture on their phone and 40% have actually sent one.

• Pornography lures in and deceives people with what cannot be satisfied, and sadly before a young person realizes what they are involved in, it is almost too late and they are addicted.

• Nearly half of pornography that is sought out, according to a study, is searched as a result of boredom. We must give our children a fulfilled life so that they do not have to run to pornography.

• We cannot place our children in a bubble because our world is a porn-saturated society, but we can offer something different and better than what porn offers.

• Be wise and put a filter on their devices. And make your children to have a data-free device until they are older.

• Spouses should have one another’s passwords and complete freedom to ask each other about anything. Parents should have open access to see their children’s devices while they were living at home or until they are grown and.

• We cannot avoid 100% of all bad influence coming in from technology, but we can do our best to filter out the scum so that it does not rule in our children’s lives.

9. We learn to sing together instead of letting amplified music do all the work entertaining us.

• We have become so professional that everyone else sings for us and majority of Christians have very little participation in singing to God. Singing does us good.

• Worshipping through song is one of the greatest things that we can do. The ancient Hebrews knew this and rehearsed singing to God, making it a large portion of their lifestyle.

• Singing may be one of the very few things that we can do that combines heart, soul, strength and mind as we worship God.

• If singing is so powerful, why do we allow so many technological ways to take our place in singing instead of allowing it to help us participate in singing.

10. In sickness and in health

• Technology can bring distance so much closer and be very useful, but technology cannot replace being present in the most important times of someone’s life.

• One of the best commitments that you could make for someone you love is to show up, to be there for them in person.

• The greatest way you can show love is by being there in person, setting aside all technology for what is more important.

• When we are at our body’s limit, nothing but personal and physical presence will do.

The Space Between:

A parents guide to teenage development

by Dr. Walt Mueller

 

– Your children are not adults yet, and understanding this will help you avoid wrong expectations. They have not matured and went through stages of life like you as an adult have.

– Don’t fall into the world’s trap of what is said about teenagers. Your teenager is a gift from God.

– The teenage years bring many new temptations, struggles and trials. They are also years of great opportunities for a parent’s guide, example and help.

– What is the greatest problem in a teenagers life? It is one word, sin. It is the same problem that we have in our life, sin.

– Independence is the goal of adolescence/teenage years. Soon our children will be released to the world. This time of adolescence is a time that God is working in our children and in our lives.

– Dependence is one of the best states in which we can find ourselves while raising children. We must depend on God, for it is He alone who can ultimately work in their lives.

– Our helplessness can be the best thing if we will learn to depend on God’s help.

– God is in the midst of parenting us while we parent our children.

– There is a social separation in adolescence. Young people close off their family as they open to other friends. In today’s society, through social media, young people communicate with their friends while blocking out the family.

– We are to love them, train them and let them go as we commit them over to the Lord.

– Studies have shown that the better a teenager’s relationship is with their parents, the higher self-esteem they will have.

– Adolescents should know that no matter what goes on at school or outside, the home is a safe place to be.

– When they are children, you think for them. When they are adolescence, you should think with them. And when they are adults, let them think for themselves. Challenge them to think critically through things.

– Teenagers will be moody, but do your best not to belittle their emotions, just be patient with them. Teenagers need parents that will love them and be there for them even in their emotional ups and downs.

– Never forget and never be afraid of keeping the authority on the Word.

– One of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal with your kids is to become vulnerable. Let them know of the good, bad and ugly from experiences in your life.

– Teenagers are trying to find themselves. The world tries to show them their identity. They will eventually find themselves, but we want to help them find their identity in Christ and not in what the world offers.

– Be all you want your children to be. When we love God, it will naturally flow from our lives and our children will see it. Children naturally imitate and become like their parents.

– Ask yourself if your children see that God is important in your life. Do they see you read His word, love others, fear God, pray and seek God in good times and bad times? Do they say that God is first in your time, your finances and all you do? Do they say that you love God on days when you are not in church?

– Be redemptive. What will you do if your children go against what you believe or told them? How will you treat your children if and when they mess up?

– Remember that your children’s greatest problem is your greatest problem, sin. Have the same attitude that God has towards you, forgive them and love them when they are good and bad, when they mess up and embarrass you.

– We have been the recipients of God’s abundant grace, so how could we not show the same grace towards our children when they need it.

The Power of Money

by Hybels, Keller, Chan, Beach

 

– There is always a winner at the God-versus-money-battle that goes on in your heart.

– By percentage, people who make less money usually give more to God than people who make more money. It could be because writing a tithe check for a richer man would be substantially more and he doesn’t want to do it.

– Proverbs 3:9–10 – give God the first fruits. This is symbolic that God is the most important in your life. It would be good that the first check you write for the month (or payment you pay) is to God – it show your priorities.

– Giving to God is a heart-check, to see where your heart really is.

– Giving to God is a faith-check, testing your faith, knowing God will take care of you.

– Test God and see if He won’t open the windows of heaven.

– Materialism has a way to blind and distort the way we see things. It darkens your eyes spiritually.

– Money for some people gives them security, significance, control or status of thinking they are better than others.

– We should treasure heavenly treasure instead of earthly treasure.

– We can know that money does not hold power over us by how we treat the poor. When we become generous, it stops us from acting better than others.

– Contentment has nothing to do with your circumstances.

– You will probably meet more poor people that are happy then rich people that are happy.

– The sin of envy will cause us to see very little of how God takes care of us.

– It is easier for us to mourn with those that are mourning then to rejoice with those that are rejoicing.

The One Thing

by Gary Keller

 

– It is better to do one thing good instead of a lot of things bad.

– We are bombarded with more choices today than our ancestors had in a lifetime.

– Successful companies have one thing that they are really good at and that is what makes them who they are.

– Achievers do earlier what others wait to do later.

–Multitasking is a lie, it doesn’t really work. When you try to do two things at the same time, you usually get neither of them done. Multitasking is not efficient, it is inefficient.

– Success is about doing the one thing right, but still doing a bunch of things.

– Success is not a balanced life, it is about having purpose in your life.

– Live with purpose.

– If you’re always searching for the next biggest or best thing, it will never let you be happy.

– Live with priority every day.

– Live for productivity. Finish what you were supposed to finish and then move onto the next thing.

– Time block. Block out time to get done what needs to be done.

– Get an accountability partner.

– Take care of your health or you won’t live long.

– Keep a positive attitude.

The Man in the Mirror

by Patrick Morley

 

– Most men are caught up in the rat race. Media runs our lives telling us what we need and must have.

– Colossians 4:2 — the secular world has done a better job influencing us than we have influencing them.

– Are you willing for God to show you how you really are? It’s time for some self-examination.

– We live in a culture that is dominated by secular values, and they have done their best to influence us.

– Cultural Christianity is to pursue the god we want and still pursue the true God.

– We must answer the question who am I, our identity. It is crucial we know who we are in Christ.

– We must also answer the question of why we exist. Why did God put us here?

– Goals come and go but purpose remains the same. We must know God‘s purpose for our lives.

– Goals are what we do, purpose is why we do what we do.

– Many men are succeeding at work but failing in life. It appears everything is going well while our home is falling apart.

– Many men, in pursuit of happiness or success, leave a strand of broken relationships.

– We often find our significance and happiness in the job we have or the money we make, when we should be looking at the marriage we have and the family God has given us.

– We think our grouchiness and temper towards our family should be understood by them, saying they don’t know how bad we have it. But who we really are is not determined by those from the outside as much as the ones closest to us.

– No amount of success in the office can compensate for failure at home.

– If we do not have time for family, we can be 100% sure we are not doing God‘s will for our lives.

– If we are willing to die for children, why can’t we make time for them while they are alive?

– Most people do not regularly pray for their children.

– Nobody says, on their deathbed, that they wish they would had spent more time at their job.

– Most marriages break down because the spouses are critical towards each other. We are quick to remember the good that we do and the bad that our spouse does.

– Few men have friends that really know them. We must become vulnerable if we are going to get help.

– If you want to be a real friend, you are the one who is going to have to take the risk. The price of friendship is personal vulnerability.

– Money is not the path to contentment. Ask yourself why you want more money.

– God wants us to live by Biblical principles and priorities.

– Doing the right job is not enough, we must do the right job in the right way.

– Too many people want to do big things, when we don’t realize that it’s consistency in many little things that amount up to big things.

– Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is simply not thinking of yourself.

– Anger is like piercing arrows from the bow of an archer. Once they are released, they do their damage, hurt many and cannot be taken back. Anger has been the downfall of many men.

– Other people cannot cause us to be angry, they just reveal what was already inside.

– The man who holds a grudge will end up just like the person to whom he holds the grudge.

– Doctors estimate that over 60% of our health problems are caused by emotional stress.

– Men usually become outraged over selfishness and impatience rather than injustice.

– A man’s face tells much about the man. Abraham Lincoln said that a man over 40 years old is responsible for what his space looks like.

– Most men want to be independent but the Godly man must learn to be dependent on God.

– Avoiding suffering is impossible. We don’t go seeking to suffer, but we understand that it is not a strange thing to suffer.

– Until we come to the end of ourselves and have nothing else to which we look or depend, we cannot learn fully how to depend on God.

– If we will always tell the truth, we will not have to work at remembering.

– The number one reason many men get into trouble is because they do not have to answer to anyone in life. The missing link of Christianity is accountability. We work all our life to be our own boss and are not accountable to anyone.

– Accountability is like nuclear fusion, we’ve all heard about it and know it’s important but have an idea what it is… no one can really put their finger on it. Accountability is answering to key people on a regular basis about key areas of our lives.

– What are areas you struggle in, areas that you need help in? Those are the areas that you must learn to be accountable to others in.

– Accountability is not fellowship. Accountability is not only seeking biblical council. Accountability is opening your life so that others can ask you questions and know what honestly is going on in your life.

– Fellowship without accountability helps very little.

– There are many reasons that we as men do not ask for accountability: fear of confidentiality, success, vulnerability, pride, no structure and/or consistency.

– Batteries go dead, even rechargeable batteries have to be recharged; and a man cannot continue on forever without being spiritually recharged.

– Christians must return to the basics in their lives, every day doing the basic disciplines a man of God should do.

– One of the disciplines a Christian man should have is prayer. An easy and known acronym to know what to pray for is ACTS:

Adoration

Confession

Thanksgiving

Supplication.

The Invisible War

By Chip Ingram

 

– Be aware of the battle. Don’t ignore the existence but don’t play with it either.

– There’s a visible world just as there is an invisible world. 2 Kings 6:16 – Ephesians 6:10-20 — first tells us to be strong in the Lord. Next we are to put on the full armor of God.

– We are involved in the invisible war.

– You have a personal enemy. He wants to destroy you and make you miserable.

– I Peter 5:8 — the devil tempts us and then makes us dwell on the guilt, he’s trying to destroy us.

– Before we can turn to and depend on the sufficiency of Christ, we must understand our own insufficiency.

– We are to understand that our enemy is strong, but we are not to be preoccupied thinking about him.

– God puts limitations on the devil. He is on a leash held by our Father so we have no reason to live in fear.

– We do not fight for victory, we fight from victory. In Christ we are victorious and invincible in Him.

– We fight on every front but the good thing is that Jesus is our strength.

– Sometimes God’s greatest blessings are preceded by the worse attacks.

– You have to choose between fear and faith.

– The devil makes us doubt God and our identity in God. It starts with that and from there he leads us down a dark path.

– We are to renew our minds. The reason that God is so concerned about our minds is because that is a central area the devil loves to attack.

– Power falls where prayer prevails.

 

– Pray ACTS:

Adoration

Confession

Thanksgiving

Supplication

The Fight of Your Life

by Tim Clinton

 

– 50% of churchgoing men struggle with pornography

– Exposure to when a man is introduced to porn is said to be from 8 to 11 years old.

– Porn ruins sex.

– 34% of Internet users have seen porn unintentionally.

– The World Wide Web is exactly that, a web! Many have been caught in the web of distraction, losing their family, marriage and a good reputation.

– Sex is a beautiful thing given by God, but God has planned sex for marriage.

– 30,000 people every second are viewing porn on the Internet.

– Pornography is dehumanizing. It turns women into commodities and sex objects.

– Pornography is destroying sex. People that look at pornography actually have less sex.

– In one poll, it showed that pornography is the number one problem in homes.

– Pornography destroys much more than just the individual; friendships, families and many others are caught up in the destruction.

– Internet filters are not the answer — the real problem can’t be filtered by technology, the real problem is your heart.

– Pornography is destroying your passion and love for your spouse and God.

– Your greatest sex organ is your brain. What makes sex exciting is what you think.

– Believing that the problem of sexual lust will end at the marriage altar is one of the biggest lies.

– Consider the following things about your fantasies:

• Who is it with? An old fling, someone you saw in pornography?

• Where is it? The first place you kissed a girl, the first time and place you saw pornography?

• How does it end? Now take Christ to your fantasies and letHim take those thoughts captive.

– 1 Cor. 6:18 – God can help us take down strongholds. But how does a stronghold get rooted in the life of a man? It is through repetition of seeing, acting on and thinking.

– Sexual sins strip a man of integrity, makes him want to hide and shrink away in silence.

– As a child of God, our deepest and most spiritual intimacy should be with God. Because of a lack of that, we are seeking to fulfill that in many other ways.

– Are you willing to deny yourself? When people came to ask Jesus if they can follow Him, He replied by telling them to deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Him.

– There can be no resurrection until there is first a death. And you will never fix your marriage or put your life back on track until you are willing to die to your own selfish pleasures.

– Before we can be cured, we must want to be cured.

– Give up, get up and start walking in faith!

– The enemy lies, and tells us that a little lust and indulgence will not hurt. Proverbs 5:3-5; 6.26; 7:22-23. – Illicit sex will slaughter you. It will reduce you to nothing more than a piece of bread and destroy your life, family, desires, goals, relationships and everything about you.

– When any part of your life is lived apart from God, it becomes utterly miserable.

– The lies of porn will promise but never fulfill.

– Physical lust can never be satisfied, the more you fill it the more it cannot be fulfilled.

– Sex is an idol in our culture and idols cannot satisfy.

– The beauty of sex is only found within its God-ordained boundaries.

– Jonathan encouraged David’s hand in the Lord. We all need accountability, people who will encourage our hand in the Lord.

– Failure is not fatal, but failure not to change could be.

– The lust of your heart is not your wife’s responsibility or fault.

– Love trumps sex. We must preserve intimacy above all else.

– John 10:10; 1 Peter 5:8 — the devil has a plan for you… he wants to destroy you. Even bigger than your plan of staying away from pornography, the devil wants to ruin your life anyway possible.

– John 8:44 — Satan is a liar and the father of it. He only has one tool that he uses over and over and it all revolves around being a liar. He will lie to you and deceive you.

– You can turn the tables on the liar by inserting truth. When the devil throws up thoughts of the past or lustful thoughts of fantasy, you can stop him and insert the truth. Remind the devil you have been forgiven and how God has other plans for you now. You can stop, replace and think different thoughts – Philippians 4:7–8.

– Love for God will conquer a thousand sins.

– Sexual sins destroy trust at a very intimate and deep level. Trust is key in a relationship.

– Trust must be earned. If trust has been violated, it will take both time and work to rebuild.

– The best sex has always been between two people who are committed to oneness for life.

– 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

– Nehemiah 4:14 – They tried to get him to come down from the wall, but he would not. Fight for your family, your marriages and the generations to come.

– One man must break free of the shackles of sexual sins so that he can live in freedom and then go help all the other men captivated by the devil.

The Dude’s Guide to Marriage

by Darren Patrick

 

– Sin makes us all selfish, but God gives us a way to live both with him and others.

– If we paid as much attention to our wives as we do our phones, we would have a phenomenal marriage.

– One of the greatest problems with marriage is not adultery or “big” sins, but neglect.

– Repeat what the other person said before you respond.

– Unity is better than one victory.

– Learn the “Halt method.” Do not discuss subjects or argue when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

– Almost everything becomes more interesting when we get involved, that definitely applies to marriage.

– Wives need husbands who have the right God sitting on the throne.