Why Your Kids Misbehave
By Dr. Kevin Leman
10 ways to change your kids:
1. Put the ball in their court. Don’t cover for them, make them face the
consequences. If you always stand up for them, cover for them, or clean up for
them, they will never learn. This prepares them for life when they leave your
house.
2. Look for teachable moments. Every day there are opportunities to teach your
children a lesson.
3. Use reality discipline instead of punishment. Real life consequences are much
better than a lecture, and will prepare your children for life.
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t say things that you have to
back down from (e.g.: you are grounded for life). If your kids know that you mean
what you say, there will be that will fix many behavioral issues. Be consistent.
Follow through with what you say.
5. Say something once and then walk away. Most kids know that they do not have to
obey the first time, they wait until their parent says their full name, gets louder, or
begins screaming. They know what they can get away with, and we have train
them to miss behave. Give your vocal cords a rest, you only need to say it once.
6. Remember that fighting is an act of cooperation. You can’t do the emotional
tango with only one. You are the adult, so don’t join in the argument. If you don’t
engage, there is no battle.
7. Decide what is worth the battle.
8. Don’t snow plow the roads for your children. If you lie and cover for your kids,
you are harming your child both now and in the future.
9. Don’t sail into your child’s wind. Don’t let your child control you and make you
angry. Kids should not set the atmosphere in the house, don’t be swept up in
their drama.
10. Don’t ask questions, instead ask for their opinion or make open ended
comments.