By Ken Sande
The book is based off of the four G’s of being a peacemaker
- Glorify God
- Get the log out of your own eye.
- Gently restore.
- Go and be reconciled
– God is a God of peace, He gives His children peace, and He commands us to pursue peace (Romans 12:18).
– God told His people to use peace (shalom) as a form of greeting.
– The three forms of peace: peace with God, peace with others, and peace with ourselves.
– The Lord commands us to fix things with a brother before prayer and worship. – Peacemaking is not optional for a child of God, it is mandatory.
– God may not tell us everything we want to know, but He has told us everything we need to know.
– Trusting God does not mean we don’t have questions or fears, but it does mean we know God is in control, knows best, and works all for our good.
– Before you approach others about their shortcomings, you are to be truthful about your own problems – Matthew 7.
– You should determine if something is worth overlooking or pursuing. Many minor issues should simply be overlooked.
– Since God does not deal harshly with us when we sin, we should remember that when dealing with others.
– Check your attitude in light of the Scriptures and change what needs to be changed.
– If exercising your rights is against a Biblical principle, you probably should not exercise your rights.
– Before you confront or react to a brother, you should decide if it is worth it.
– When we judge others for not meeting our expectations and desires, we are imitating the devil – James 3:15; 4:1
– God uses three specific tools to help us in this area: His Word (the Bible), His Spirit (the Holy Spirit), and His Church (our local church).
– If we do not find all our fulfillment in the Lord, we look for happiness and satisfaction elsewhere, making impossible expectations for others.
– God’s love and forgiveness drives us to forgive and reconcile with others.
– Perhaps one of the greatest reasons we did not resolve conflict is because we have forgotten the golden rule; do you want to others as we would want done onto us.
– When confessing or asking forgiveness, avoid using words such as “if, “maybe,” or “but.”
– Although you cannot make someone like you, you can do everything within your power to live peaceably with all men.
– When a problem occurs, you must decide if you are going to overlook it, postpone the conversation for another time, see what you must work on in your own life, or or decide to pray and confront that person lovingly.
– Ephesians 4:15 says we must learn to speak the truth in love.
– Whether you are confronting or being confronted, you must learn to listen and be willing to accept any truth about changes you should make in your own life.
– Face-to-face conversations are almost always better than texts, phone, or email.
– Many problems are caused by misunderstandings. Be sure you communicate clearly your thoughts.
– Carefully planning the words you are going to use when confronting another could be the difference between problem solving and increased hostility.
– Be careful how you use the Bible. Don’t use the Bible to threaten or browbeat someone. Make sure you are not pulling a verse out of context to prove your point.
– You should try to keep the circle of people involved as small as possible, only including others for reasons to help and restoration.
– What would happen if God forgave you exactly the way you forgive others? Matthew 6:12
– The world needs more reconcilers.
– If you think on how much God has forgiven you, it will help as you try to forgive others.
– First Samuel 25 is a great example of confronting someone by keeping the other person’s interest in mind.
– Before speaking to someone about a solution, you should create a list of your interests as well as the other party’s interest.
– If it seems impossible to deal with someone or reconcile with someone, you may have to turn it over to the Lord, and leave it in God’s hands to work in His way.
– Romans 12:20-21 teaches us the ultimate weapon to deal with others.