Have a New Kid by Friday

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Have a New Kid by Friday

Dr. Kevin Leman 

Below are topics he talks about:

  • Allowance
  • Anger
  • Attending Worship
  • Attention
  • Babysitting
  • Bad Language
  • Bathing and Hygine
  • Bedtime
  • Bedwetting
  • Bullying
  • Carelessness W Money
  • Cellphone
  • Cheating
  • Chores
  • Christmas
  • Courtesy
  • Communicating
  • Complaining
  • Curfew
  • Defiance
  • Disruption In Class
  • Driving
  • Drugs
  • Earrings
  • Eating Hassles
  • Fear
  • Fighting In Car
  • Forgetfulness
  • Going On Overnights
  • Grocery Store Antics
  • Helpless
  • Hitting
  • Homeschool Teaching
  • Homework
  • Hyperactivity
  • Ignoring Parents
  • Internet
  • Interuptions
  • Irresponsibility W/ Car
  • Isolating
  • Know It All
  • Lack Of Cooperation
  • Lateness
  • Laziness
  • Lying
  • Manners
  • Me Me Me
  • Messy Rooms
  • Misuse Of TV
  • Music
  • Music Lessons
  • My Space
  • Name Calling
  • Not Getting Up
  • Nursing
  • Obsessive Compulsive
  • Overeating
  • Over caution
  • Parties
  • Peer Influence
  • Pets
  • Picky Eaters
  • Pornography
  • Potty Training
  • Power Games
  • Procrastination
  • Punching Holes
  • Put Downs
  • Respect
  • Retention
  • Rolling Eyes
  • Rudeness
  • Saying Thanks
  • Screaming
  • Selfishness
  • Sharing
  • Showing Off
  • Shyness
  • Sibling Rivalry
  • Slamming Doors
  • Smoking
  • Spaciness
  • Spanking
  • Spitting
  • Sports
  • Stealing
  • Stomping
  • Stubbornness
  • Talking Back
  • Tattling
  • Tattoos
  • Telephone courtesy
  • Temper Tantrums
  • Thumb sucking
  • Undereating
  • Unkindness
  • Wardrobe
  • When Life Isn’t Fair
  • Whiners
  • Youth Activities

 

Top 10 Countdowns to Having New Kid by Friday:

10. Consistent in your behavior as a parent

9.  Always follow through

8.  Respond, don’t react

7.  What would old self do – do what new self would do

6.  Never threaten

5.  Never get angry and apologize when do

4.  Don’t give warnings – if do, you are saying, “you are so stupid I have to tell you more than once”

3.  Ask self, who’s problem is this – don’t own what is not yours

2.  Don’t think problem will go away

1.  Keep a happy face on – even when want to do something else

“A” (attitude), “B” (behavior) and “C” (character) – all in their order.

Remember that “B” (behavior) doesn’t happen until “A” (attitude) is taken care of.

Guided by Grace

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Guided by Grace

By Paul Chappell

  • One reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail, not his tongue.
  • Greatness for God requires greatness with God.
  • The key for any pastor is that he learns to control his schedule, disallowing his schedule to control him.
  • We cannot become an emotional hermit and still serve God’s people.
  • Example of David – pg 96-97 (look at it)
  • We know that Biblical separation does not avoid contact with the world, only conformity to it.
  • We must be out in the world without conforming to the world.
  • Biblical separation is turning away from sin and toward Christ.
  • People would rather see a sermon than hear a sermon any day.
  • Biblical vision is clear, compassionate and courageous
  • Every day Christopher Colombus wrote in a personal journal. Some of those entries are only four words – “Today we sailed on.” We too will experience many days during the course of our spiritual journey when all we can record is “Today I sailed on”. Be encouraged – siling on is better than turning around. The implementation of spiritual vision is an act of obedience to God’s Word, and sometimes that means we must stay the course without seeing visible results. This is the nature of vision. William Carey, recognized as the father of modern missions, called it plodding.
  • The man of God prays to God, gets Biblical vision from God and stands up to proclaim the Word of God.
  • It is only as we develop others around us that we permanently succeed in the ministry.
  • A local pastor who believes that his only responsibility is to teach the Bible has not captured the full understanding of his calling.
  • Most Christians realize the mission of the church is to evangelize the world with the Gospel of Christ, but a definite strategy of accomplishing this goal is often not clearly implemented.
  • The word influence is derived from the Latin word for influenza or what we commonly refer to today as the flu. How is the flu contracted? It is passed from person to person through one-on-one contact. Influence passes from person to person in a similar way—unseen.
  • Although recognizing leaders is an important first step in developing them, I is incomplete without mentoring. It is vital that those who are currently in leadership of the local church spend time with and mentor the future ministry leaders.
  • Fellowship with purpose – the activities we have should not just be for any reason, but have a purpose.
  • However, mentoring is not an end in itself. The process must proceed to the next step which is equipping.
  • It seems we don’t mind mentoring and equipping, but we struggle to share the ministry with others. Unfortunately, if people are not allowed the opportunity to share in the real ministry, they are hindered in exercising a leadership role, and the entire organization is stifled. Maturity doesn’t come with age. It comes with acceptance of responsibility.
  • The two basic reasons we do not delegate are: insecurity (lack of spiritual growth) and Disorganization
  • The process of delegation can be outlined in the following way:
  • Remember to mentor and teach before delegation.
  • Give clearly identifiable duties for the given task.
  • Verbalize confidence in the person to whom you delegate.
  • Give him authority to get the job done.
  • Establish budget limits if applicable.
  • Allow him room to fail and learn from his mistakes.
  • Set predetermined checkpoints fro evaluation.
  • Praise him and give him credit for a job well done.
  • The process of leadership development
  • Saturated in prayer
  • Mentoring
  • Equipping
  • Delegating
  • Evaluating
  • Multiplying
  • In the Epistles of Paul, John, James and Peter, they are full of names of believers mentioned who made a difference by laboring together – None of these men stood alone in the ministry.
  • Learning is change
  • A critical spirit equals ministry suicide.
  • Building a team requires time and commitment. It involves building relationships with the members of the team. Many church leaders get so caught up in administration and paperwork that they forget to invest in the lives of their people.
  • Learn to enjoy teamwork. After all, anything worth doing is worth doing together.
  • Fellowship is a tool in the continuing process of an equipping ministry. We are not going to develop a team without fellowship. We may not think we have time to take out staff to a ball game or invite them to our homes, but we don’t have time not to. We need to redeem the time, and that includes building relationships.
  • The common, ordinary, one-gift Christians are the very backbone of the church. We have our great evangelists, our large congregations led by dynamic leaders and our wealthy brethren who are able to finance great works. But if the work of the Lord is to be done and if the Gospel is to be taken to the lost, then it will be accomplished by ordinary Christians.
  • Christian pollster George Barna has reported in a number of surveys that three-fourths of the church growth in our day is growth from transfer of memberships from one church to another. North American pastors need to be reminded that the ministry is not about paper work—it is about people work.

Five Love Languages

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Five Love Languages

By Gary Chapman

  • Words of Affirmation

Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

  • Quality Time

Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.

  • Receiving Gifts

Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a “gold digger,” someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.

  • Acts of Service

Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.

  • Physical Touch

Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.

Faith Promise for World Witness

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Faith Promise for World Witness

By Norm Lewis

 

Could a Mariner sit idle

if he heard the drowning cry?

Could a doctor sit in comfort

and just let his patients die?

Could a fireman sit idle,

let men in burn and give no hand?

Can you sit at ease in Zion,

With the world around you damned? – Leonard Ravenhill

Do Christians really care? Do you? If so, the faith promise plan may be part of your answer.

II Cor. 10:16

Ask yourself, how important is world evangelization? To God? To you? To me?

The grain that is not reaped will rot!

Men and money – both must be produced in huge supply.

Few things stir the hearts of people as much as seeing those from their own congregation dedicate themselves to the active doing of God’s will. As the plan aids in realizing such results, it is profitable to any church.

Love for Christ and for the lost should guide our giving.

Motivating people to trust God is a duty and a privilege.

Faith promise is wholly voluntary.

When Christians put their shoulders to the wheel to share Christ with all men everywhere, giving to local needs also increases. Thus the faith promise plan greatly benefits the whole church program.

A pledge generally emphasizes the horizontal relationship between the giver and his church. A faith promise emphasizes the vertical relationship between the giver and his God. A pledge is usually considered to be a legal and obligatory contract, but faith promise is not. Statements or dunning letters are never sent.

The Faith promise plan is of benefit to all believers of all ages. Its emphasis encourages young people to yield their lives for His service.

A common shortcoming of Christians in the United States is that they consume the full loaf of gospel bread at home while sending only bits and crumbs abroad.

Let us give priority to completing Gods discipling plan around the world using the faith promise plan.

The pastor is the first key to the faith promise plans success.

Pour time, effort and prayer into people who are moving with God.

Faith promise seems to have been initiated by AB Simpson in his missionary conferences in the 1880s.

God’s plan is for churches to produce, send and support missionaries during this age of grace. The work must not cease until the trumpet signals Christ second coming.

Faith promise emphasizes: the importance of people. The purpose of giving. Giving for love of Christ. Willing giving. Weekly giving. Face centrality. Spiritual substance. God. Dependence upon Christ. Christ coming kingdom, …

Occupying till Christ comes. John 10:16; I Corinthians 12:27; Colossians 1:18; Revelation 5:9; Matthew 25:6; Mark 13:10

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

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Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

By John Maxwell

 

You can learn to communicate to any person at any situation

  • Think about others
  • Capture their interests, inspire

Learning to communicate with others is one of the most important skills to learn

  • Connecting is all about others
  • If you only think of yourself and not connect with others, you will isolate yourself, offending and hurting others
  • Value others, connect with others
  • Its not about you, its about them
  • Change the focus on inward not outward

Many think that the conversation is about themselves because of the following reasons:

  • Maturity – maturity is the ability to see and act on others.  Focus on others. You’re not the center of the universe.
  • Ego – Being caught in self love doesn’t allow you to connect.  If you are more worried about the speech then connecting with people, you will lose them. All speakers all wonderfully received when they warmly connect with the audience.
  • Failure to value everyone – to add value to others, you must value others. Don’t ignore people. All people are significant.
  • Insecurity – the more you are seeking approval from audience, the more it becomes about yourself. Have an attitude of selflessness.

3 Questions to connect with people:

  • Do you care for me? There should be a mutual concern. Care for others, you will connect with them.  If you care you can Connect with people and will make your life better and theirs.
  • Can you help me? Focus on what benefits you can offer to someone. Focus on benefits.
  • Can I trust you? Trust is vital to any business and life itself. Keep reminding yourself to connect with others.

What we say only accounts for 7%; the way we say it accounts for 38%; the way others perceive it accounts for 55%.

  • What people say verbally (Connect verbally) – In the first 7 seconds people will decide all about who you are.  Movement conveys a clearer message. Environment plays a huge role in communication

– If you want to connect with others, be prepared to make adjustments.

  • What people understand (Connect intellectually) – communication must go beyond words. Connecting must go beyond words.

The teacher is not good because of what he knows rather because of what his students know – John Maxwell, communicating and connecting.

How not to connect:

  • Be Monotone
  • Look down, not at the people
  • Think it is all about you, no need to help them
  • Assumption – think they know something or behave a certain way
  • Arrogance – live on higher ground, overlook them
  • Indifference – not care about the way they do or think.

Repetition is key to learning.

Tell people what you are going to say, say it and then remind them of what you just said

  • Say it clearly – you must be able to see it clearly in your mind to say clearly with your mouth. Have one main idea.
  • Say less – better they think you speak too little than too much. Some of the greatest speeches are many times the shortest ones.

There are no bad audiences, only bad speakers. If people are sleeping, someone should go upfront and wake up the speaker.

Communicate in the world of the audience – say things in the perspective of the listeners.

Tips on communicating with your audience:

  • Ask questions – interact with them by asking questions (to respond or just making them think)
  • Get people moving – stand, move or do something.
  • Have the audience Interact with each (talking, shaking hands, looking, etc.)
  • Say it so it’ll stick – package it in a fresh and clever way so that it will be remembered.
  • Humor
  • Don’t be predictable – people go to sleep because they know where you are going so throw them off by saying something or going a way they did not expect.
  • Tell stories – everyone loves stories; it wakes them up and puts interest back into the people.

Some people inspire us more than others do.

What they know + what they see + how they feel = inspiration.

The inspiration factor:

  • What people need to know – people need to know that you are on their side. People need to know that you understand them and are focused on them.  Inspiring communicators always expect something from their listeners. Everyone wants someone to challenge him or her. Great speakers inspire others.
  • What they see – their perception of the speaker. People need to see your conviction. They need to see your credibility. People need to see evidence of your character. The real message does not stop when your speech stops.
  • What they need to feel – people will not always remember what you say or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel.  People must see your vision – vision without passion is like a picture without purpose. Passion is powerful. People need to see your confidence in yourself and in them. People need to feel your gratitude towards them. You as a speaker should be grateful that they would stay and give you their ear.

Inspiration connects with people.

Don’t just inspire people call them to action. Most people already know more than they do; the good communicator will help people with their follow through.

A motivational teacher makes you feel good but the next day you do not know what to do; an inspirational teacher makes you feel good and the next day you’ll know what to do. One makes you feel good and the other makes you do good. We should help people move from the know-how to the do-now. The true test of inspiration is action.

With credibility leaders connect with people, without credibility leaders disconnect from people.

Wisdom is knowing the right thing to do; integrity is doing the right thing.

Eat that Frog

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Eat that Frog

By Brian Tracy

 

Change the way you think and do things

Apply things until they become a habit

Why do some people get more done than others? They do things right, use time differently – and what they do, I can do too, just ask them and do same thing.

Key to success is action

Always much to do and more ideas, but key is to focus on most impor things

Do hardest thing first and then the easiest

If have to eat a live frog, it’s not going to help sitting there and looking at it – just do it

Activity and accomplishment are often confused, but not the same

Learn to start and finish a job

Practice is key to master something

To become a successful person – Decision, Discipline and Determination

  • Decide what you want or are expected
  • Write it down – goals not in writing lead to not getting things done
  • Set deadline on goal
  • Make a list of steps to complete job
  • Organize the list into a plan – what to do now and what to do later
  • Take action on the plan – execution
  • Do something every day towards the goal – discipline of reading or doing things give you fuel to continue

Long term thinking improves short term decision making. Making decisions of the present is easier when you know what your long term goal is. What are the future consecuences or benefits of what I am going to do in the present.

First law of success is concentration – bend all strenghts to one point and focus on that point.

There is never enough time to do everything, but always time to do important things.

We may never be able to catch up, so get that out of your mind – better to just do what is most important and forget the rest.

3 questions on getting things done:

  • What are my highest value activities
  • What can I and only I do that is done well and that can make a difference
  • What is the most valuable use of my time right now – this is the core question of time management. Every hour of every day I need to ask this question. Do first things first and second things… not at all.

When fully prepared, you can get much more done.  Most creative people make the place they work at a nice, comfortable and clean place where they are going to work – this will help you work well.  The cleaner and neater, the more effective and efficient you feel to work.

Learn what you need to learn so you can do what you are supposed to do. Much of procrastination is because we don’t know exactly how to do what we are going to do. Continuous learning is a key to success. What others know, I can learn as well.

There are certain things you can do or learn to do that can make you valuable to others.

You can not do everything, but you can do those things that make you accel

How do you eat an elephant? – one bite at a time – and the same method is used to finish a big job.

Only about 2% of people can do work entirely without supervision – they are called leaders. Learn to put the pressure on yourself. The world is full of people waiting for someone to come and motivate them to be the type of people they should be – but no one is coming to help them.

Keep yourself motivated and be your own cheerleader.

Don’t share your problems with others because 80% don’t care anyway and the other 20% are glad you have those problems.

Don’t blame others, accept responsibility, don’t dwell on the negative.

Go the extra mile, do more than you are paid for. Wake up earlier, stay up later, work a little harder.

Successful people put the pressure on themselves. Work as though you have 1 day left to get all the things done – become a high performanced person.

Write out the steps to do projects and then work exclusively on these task.

If you do things when you are energized, you will get more done as oppossed to being tired. Turn off the TV and go to sleep. Take off one day a week and relax, do things that will not tax your brain and allow your brain to recharge yourself – a change is as good as a rest. A vacation, a weekend off, etc will rejuvenate you. Be careful of what you eat – feed yourself as you would feed a world-class athlete before a competition because that is what you are before you are before beginning that task. And finishing the task gives you more energy and helps you feel like you have accomplished much.

One of most powerful words in time management is “NO” – say it often and say it quickly. Do not accept things that you can not do.

Always do the most difficult job first

Many have become best sellers because they have written 1 page a day until finishing the job – working in time segments will help you tremendously (read so much of a book, exercise for 30 minutes, call during this part of the day, etc). Someone who creates blocks of time completes more than the normal person. Remember that the pryamides were built one stone at a time. Make every minute count by planning and preparing your work in advance.

The key to happiness and effectiveness is to eat the frog, the difficult task, every day before starting other things.

21 ideas for getting things done

  • Set the Table – decide what you want, write out goals before begin, clarity is essential.

Ability to concentrate on most important things = happiness and getting more done

10/90 rule – first 10% of time you plan will save you 90% of time when you begin to work

We always have enough time if we manage it right

  • Plan day in advance – think on paper. Every day you spend time planning will save you time in execution.

Write out what you want will help you

Planning is bringing future in present so I can do something about it right now.

Every minute in planning saves you at least 2 hours in wasted time

Proper prior planning permits proper performance

Think on paper, you will be able to do more

Make list at end of day or night before and be ready for next day – you will be more effective the next day.

A. Have a master list

B. Have a monthly list

C. Have a weekly list – to plan out week in advance

D. Transfer from monthly/weekly list to daily list

  • Apply the 80/20 rule – 20% of what you do will amount to the 80% of importance. Concentrate on most important

There is always 20 percent (2 out of the 10 to-do things on my list) that are more important and will be more profitable if I do it.

Resist the temptation to clear up the small things first – if you choose to do the small things at the first of the day, you will make a habbit of doing small things, so start with the big things first. Most people do the small things and procrastinate on the big things.

Time management is life management – control over what you do next.

Your ability to choose between the important and most important is important and will allow you to accomplish more than the average person.

  • Concentrate on the consecuences – what are the good or bad consecuences of doing what I am going to do.
  • Practice the ABCDE method continually – organize by value and priority

ABCDE rule: put an “A, B, C, D, E” beside every task to see what is the importance.

  • Something very important – the frogs of your life
  • Should do – not as important as the “A” task. Never be distracted by a tadpole when you have a frog in front of you.
  • Nice to do but no consecuences at all if do – call a friend, etc
  • Something you can delegate to someone else – you should delegate things that can be done by others.
  • Something you can eleminate all together because not important to do. Maybe was important at one time, but not important now.
  • Focus on key result areas – what are the things I have to do well at and focus on those things.
  • Obey the law of forced efficiency – there is never enough time to do everything, but always enough time to do the most important things.
  • Prepare thoroughly before you begin – proper prior preparation prevents poor performance.
  • Do your homework – more knowledge you have about the task you are going to do, the better and more quickly you can get it done.
  • Leverage your special talents – determine what you are good at or what could be good at and do those things very well.
  • Identify your key restraints – focus on alleviating the constraints to be more affective.
  • Take it one step at a time – you can accomplish if you just take it one step at a time.
  • Put pressure on yourself – imagine you have to leave town and you have to complete things before you leave – that will help you accomplish it.
  • Maximize your personal powers – identify your best times of day mentally and phisically and focus on working during those times. Get lots of rest so you can perform at your best.
  • Motivate yourself into action – be your own cheerleader. Look for the good in everything, focus on the solution rather than the problem. Always be optomistic and constructive.
  • Practice creative procrastination – since you can’t do everything, pick the most important things and do the other things later.
  • Do the most difficult task first – the one task that can make the greatest contribution to your job.
  • Slice and dice the task – break large task into small task and do them parts at a time.
  • Create large chunks of time – organize your days into sections of time so that you can do what you need to do.
  • Develop a sense of urgency – become known as a person who does things quiclky and well.

Highly effective people plan and set priorities

Stopping and picking back up task can take up to 500% more time than just doing it. You get more done when continuing something, but when stop a task, you break the flow of doing it.

Self discipline, self mastery and self control are the base of character and high performance.

  • Single handle every task – set priorities and work until the job is 100% complete, this is the real key to high performance and maximum productivity.

Persistence is self discipline in action

Dangerous Calling

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Dangerous Calling

By Jack Tripp

 

We get too comfortable where we are, we become apathetic, we minister to people but yet do not seek to be ministered to… therefore we are in a dangerous area in life and ministry.

Most pastors are angry, have marriage problems, have personal struggles and a much more.

Although we can see other people’s problems, we become blind to our own. Our ministries are fueled by our personal devotion to the Lord.

It is my worship that can lead to other people worshiping. It is my sense of need to my Savior that can lead other people to fill their sense of need for the Savior. It is my joy and identity in Christ that can help others find theirs.

If I am not looking for joy in the Gospel, I will try to fill it in another gospel.

If my relationship is not right vertically, I will start seeking out things that can fill me horizontally.

We must look to God. We must listen to others. We must ignore the urge to isolate ourselves.

Having fantasies of doing something else or working in another ministry will lead to discontentment and bring on very big problems.

Just as a man who takes care of roses but never takes the time to enjoy them, so is a person that is so busy in the ministry but never stops and enjoys what is around him – how God is blessing, the good things going on.

We are fooled when we think that spiritual maturity is simply knowing more… It is actually applying more, not just knowing more.

Because of our vast knowledge of the Word, we go to her desk to get new sermons, but few times do we open it to really learn.

Knowing so much Scripture brings us to a knowledge/understanding, but very few times brings us to our knees.
Dangerous Calling Personal notes by Jeffrey Bush

Self-righteous people tend to be critical.

Our knowledge makes us think so much that we preach all these rules for people… but if it’s about rules, then Jesus came, died and rose again in vain.

We must not judge ourselves or any pastor in the ministry by the exterior, we must dig deep and find out if he pastors his own home, how his walk with the Lord is, if he is critical and judgmental, if he is loving, etc.

Be careful how we define successful ministry – if we think that a graduate with multiple diplomas will be successful, we could be totally wrong.

Maturity is about a relationship with God. Sin blinds 10 out of 10 people.

Spiritual blindness is different than physical blindness – spiritual blindness tricks the person by thinking he/she can really see.

Spiritual blindness is so deceptive that we literally need daily intervention. We must establish relationships that can confront us. Be open and except criticism.

A pastor’s wife needs help, mentoring and accountability as well.

Do not let the busyness of ministry cause your marriage to fail.

You should come to the point where you know that you need other people in your life.

You cannot think that your life is fine just because ministry appears good. You cannot be deceived that marriage is well just because your ministry looks good.

It is very hard for a pastor to stay accountable and admit when he is wrong or in sin.

Many that have opened up and admitted struggles or sin failure have been hurt and decide to never open up or tell people their problems again. Most pastors live in isolation and silence, thinking this is the most secure and best way – but this is false!

Why are there so many pastors who struggle in their families? Why are there so many pastors that have problems with other staff members? Why is there so much depression amongst pastors? Why are there so many difficulties in the lives of ministers? The problems are personal; it is a war in the heart.

Dangerous Calling Personal notes by Jeffrey Bush

Problems are so great because there is a war in the heart – pride, wanting to be something, wanting to see results and desiring to measure up.

We preach to so many other people and many times forget to preach to our own selves.

We must fight to keep the gospel first.

So, in the war, are we good soldiers?

We are made to worship, but we must remember that worship is not an activity rather an identity.

What do our words and actions reveal that our priorities are?

God is our refuge and strength – but many pastors run to substance, sex, activities, friends, and other things instead of running to God when they have problems.

There’s a great danger of losing the awe and forgetting what God has done. If you can’t get your excitement back, maybe you are doing what you should not be doing.

Are we so busy feeding others that we don’t have time to feed ourselves? We cannot lead others to do what we ourselves are not doing.

We must be careful that our Christianity does not become a system of what we do instead of a relationship.

I will never measure up; Christ never saved me because of who I am or what I can do. I must remember to look and depend on Christ.

We have to learn to not look for other people’s approval, we minister to serve our Savior.

We must put ourselves under Biblical council. Sadly most pastors do not have a pastor, meaning that no one tells them when they are wrong, calls them out when prideful, helps them grow, etc.

Dangerous Calling Personal notes by Jeffrey Bush

Communicating for Change

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Communicating for Change

Andy Stanley

 

Sadly, many preachers have the attitude of let’s just get through this and we will be back next week both need to speak to listen.

If you can’t answer the question what they should have learned from the sermon, that they will not be able to answer if either.

Most of us care more about the hour after we preach than during the message. If we only worry about what happens in the moment, we are wrong. We have to change and think about those in the pews. Our preaching is more about the people than about ourselves.

You do not have to stay the same in your preaching, you can change and get better.

We have all fallen in ruts or bad habit so we should constantly check up on how we are doing.

If you saw your child about to grab a scorpion, you would do anything possible to get them to stop (yell, jump, or whatever you think is necessary to get their attention). And every Sunday you stand before a group of people that are one step away from danger (moral failure, debt, homosexuality, leaving church, etc.). What are you going to do? What are you going to say? To what extreme are you willing to go to in order to awake and speak to the people? Are you willing to break away from your normal or traditional methods? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone? Will you communicate for life change?

  • Determine your goal. 

Before talking about what to communicate, you should know why you’re communicating – what is your goal as a preacher, teacher or speaker?

Are you just talking or is there a specific reason you’re talking something you want them to learn?

What are you trying to say?

Why should they listen to you?

Here are a few of the goals preachers have:

1) Teach the Bible to people. 2) Teach people the Bible.

Spiritual maturity is not based on information transfer. Just covering material is not enough.

3) Teach people how to live a life that reflects the values and principles of the Bible. This emphasizes of change. People need to know what to do and be motivated why to do it. Preach for change. They should be doers, not just hearers.

You have not preached for life change until you have answered two things:

1) So what? and 2) Now what?

Is it more important what people think on Sunday or how they live on Monday? Decide and commit to preach for life change, to help people become doers and not hearers. More application and less information.

So preach by pleading your case and seeing people change not just give out more information. You have to define your goal. Is it smarter people or changed people? This is important because your message will depend on what you want people to know and do with what you preach.

  • Pick a point. 

A sermon is a journey, you start somewhere you go somewhere and end somewhere. But the question is did you arrive where you wanted to go.

Before you get behind the wheel (or pulpit), you should know where you are going.

If you get behind the wheel I do not have a destination that you are just driving for the fun of it and the same goes behind a pulpit.

You need to know where you are going in order to get there.

I have good information and intentions but if you do not know your destination, all you are doing is talking.

Justus if you get in the car and drive to an exact address, you should do the same with your message. You should be able to start off headed to a destination when you get there, the people should know that they have been to that destination.

Just like an address, your sermon should be one point that can be summed up in a single sentence.

Is just like a list of numbers, no one can repeat a long list of numbers back to you. But if you give the same number over and over, they can tell you what the number is. If you have a sermon, they should be able to finish and repeat back to you with the point of the sermon was. You could have a lot of information and good points, but if the people cannot remember after you finish, it does no good. When you are thirsty you do not go to a water hydrant or you’ll drown yourself… and you have to narrow your focus of the message to one point or you will drown the people.

It is easier to remember one thing I remember several things even if they are all good.

You could be creative, funny and everything else, just make sure it takes you to the destination that you want to go.

What are you trying to say? What do you want to accomplish… then plan your journey according to that. Have the end in mind.

Our points flow from our notes to the lips to the people… and mean nothing because you have to run to the notes since it does not flow from your life.

Generally people remember more a “sticky statement” more than a paragraph that you read them. Have a one-liner that can sum up your message.

A question from the text, a statement that sums up what you said, catchy line, etc., a way that sticks in the mind and heart of your listeners.

What is the one thing, that burden that the preacher must communicate to his listeners. But if you don’t know what it is, the audience sure will not know either. Sermons that have put you to sleep have information but no burden. Your goal should be that one point that you have to share with the people, a burden that they must hear and you must say.

  • Create a map.

Will help you know best way to arrive to destination

Sit down and map out your course before you go on your trip – map to stick to.

Outlines be like in the psych, what’s a good information in it but people usually don’t curl up in bed with it. It’s more like a story that will take you to your destination.

A map to follow is: Me, We, God, You, We

Me – Has to do with Orientation

This is the place where I introduce myself to the audience. The audience that feels comfortable with the speaker will really listen. Once they are on my side, I can take them somewhere.

A audience has to buy into the messenger before they can buy into the message. If the communicator is arrogant, not genuine, etc. If you assume a relationship with the people, one that you do not have, you will not have the people with you. If you rush through the material, it could show you want to just get through the material and are more interested in you than them. If your tone is not what it should be, you may turn them off.

If you are talking to a audience where you always preach, the “me” part is not as important. But other places there are people who do not know you and may not want to like you, so you need to get past that obstacle.

We – Has to do with Identification

This is where I show the need and that we have common ground. Raise a felt need the people in your audience.

Saying things like, “this is probably only something I wrestle with”, etc. humanizing yourself and getting them to see you are a person, not some untouchable guy on the platform.

Spend time to spark an emotion about a need, problem, etc. Surface issues that needs to be addressed before you move on. If you can get your audience on your side or to think they are with you or want to know the answer, you can now move on.

God – Has to do with Illumination

This is where you take that common, emotional ground that you have with them with the Scriptures. If you start out directly with the truth, they might not see their need for it, so you work shows that there need to take them to God. take time to connect people to the truth of God’s word.

The goal is to point people to God. You can say, “God addressed this issue in…”, “We are not the only ones who’ve had this question or problem, open your Bible to…”.

Make it so engaging and interesting that people want to keep studying, go home and find out more and follow with their ears and hearts the entire message.

You – Has to do with Application

This is where we tell the people what to do with what they have heard.

This is where we answer the questions “so what” and “now what”.

Once have presented the truth from the scripture, you can ask the question what are you going to do about it.

This does not mean that the speaker is exempt from the truth presented, it means that the speaker has a responsibility to connect the audience with the truth. Life change will come up with people apply the truth to their lives.

But they will not do that until they feel that they need to.

The outline will rebind you where you are going on this journey so that you can stay on your course.

We – Has to do with Inspiration

This is the place to cast a common vision. A vision of what our lives, our family, our church and our world would look like if we would only apply the truths from God’s word. It is the inspirational part of the message. Sometimes the truth will make the people feel like they have such a long time to go with the truth, if I could give them a small picture of what it looks like that they can have hope.

Wrapping the time up with rejoining your audience and casting out the vision of what could happen if we all put in practice what was just preached.

  • Internalize the message.

Having the map super important. But knowing where you’re going something totally different. If you look down at the map all the time, you’ll end up in a wreck, which Way you are going on no your cargo. So you load up before you leave.

You do not leave home until you are ready. And a preacher should not stand in front of the crowd until he knows he is ready. You know this, how many touched people stand up to speak sound like they’re reading from a phone book.

You should not stand up and speak sounding like it is the first time that you’ve ever said this. You should have it turn allies, made this message part of you, before you ever stand up in front of people. You own it. It is your burden. It is something inside of you that with you standup, it comes out.

You could have notes, you should not stand up until you are ready to say it without notes – it must be something personal from your heart.

Sherry story for a lesson learned in life, is just something that comes out even if it is something to have a go. Good message exact same way.

A story just pours out of your heart people love stories because it is something that you have experienced.

A good actor speaks from his heart, not from a script… and the same goes for a communicator, a preacher.

If you don’t believe and are convinced about what we are saying, no one else will. We should believe it so much that we can tell our sermon instead of read it or keep looking at our notes to remember it. Constantly referring to notes says it is not that important (even if you say it is important).

Make it your story. You don’t hear someone read a story of it is their story… if they read it it’s because it is someone else’s story.

Using a one-point message will make it easier to remember.

Many think they can’t preach without notes because their message is just information and notes, nothing internalized.

How is it that people that were nothing like Jesus (Paul, Peter and others) stayed and listened to Him? They spoke not from a script but from their internal being.

Notes can and should be reminders or pointers but not a script we read.

Rehearse out loud your message. If you cannot remember your opener or conclusion, you may lose the people and they will not remember what was taught. Your opening and closing should probably be committed to memory.

Adding material to just fill up the time could be just as bad as not having enough. You may rush it and not close out how wanted. A sermon can be like a good movie… something you love and enjoyable. But that means you leave plenty of “good ideas” cut out and hit the most important part. Internalize your message and it will be good.

  • Engage the audience. 

You have to know your destination, but you have to know your audience that you’re taking with you. If you know your destination and leave the crowd in the dust, it does you know good getting there by yourself, you have to take others with you.

If I can make them want to know that what I am presenting something that they need, that I have them for the entire journey.

Get people to see things or look at things in a way that they have never seen or looked at that before.

Connect with the people.

Learn to think like a skeptic. Once you do that, you can answer I have asked the questions that the audience is thinking and needs to know.

Part of keeping your audience gaged is taking it slow on the turns. As a communicator, you’re the only one going – people look to you for the signals of where they are going. The transitions between your points can’t even either give someone a bump on the head of make up sick so give the turn on the signals so people know. Some people in their sermons turn so hard on the transition that they throw people right out the door. You could give verbal cues of the people for the transition you’re about to make. If you just stared out at your boats, you will not be able to give signals for your turns/transitions.

Carefully craft how to transition from one point of your message to the next.

What is your plan to capture and keep their attention?

If you’ve ever counted the tiles or work on your to-do list during the message, it is probably because the speaker has driven off and left you standing at the station. He drove off and didn’t even notice that no one was with him on his journey. The speaks prepared for hours for nothing.

When we are engaged time flies but when we are not, time stands still. We must capture and keep people’s attention. We say people do not have same attention span but there are plenty of movies, plays, games, books and other things that last hours upon hours and we all get involved. It’s all in the presentation.

Presentation and preparation keep people coming back.

Presentation matters. Shouldn’t we do all possible to make the living Word of God come alive to those listening is. Present in a way that people love, listen and want to apply what is being taught.

Jesus was not content with being right, He wanted to be heard.

There are times when we are interested in something and willing to listen, but most of the time we have to have a reason to be engaged. So we must learn to raise the need. Create a tension of s mystery or question or concern to start your message and people will go with you, but say nothing of the sort and you will probably leave everyone in your congregation standing at the station.

If you give answers that no one is asking or release tensions that are not there, people may sit through your sermon but that does not mean they are engaged. Your introduction could be your greatest key to getting people on board with you.

The introduction should create interest, wet their appetite, get them wanting to hear what you are going to talk about, make them listen to what is to follow. Many preachers are so anxious on getting to the body of their message that they jump past the introduction and leave the people behind, departing from the station with everyone standing and no one on board.

If you don’t capture attention in the first five minutes, the rest of your message is probably in vain. Here are some questions you want to answer in your introduction:

1. What is the question I am answering? And what can I do to make my audience want to know the answer to that question?

2. What is the tension this message will resolve? What can I do to make my audience feel that tension?

3. What mystery does this message solve? And what can I do to make my audience want a solution?

Jesus used these questions almost all of the time. What does the people say…, etc. People wanted to hear what was to follow.

If we fail to arouse attention, we are wrong to assume we can keep their attention.

You must capture attention, get the audience to want to hear what you have to say or you will never have them with you for the remainder of the journey.

Grabbing their attention in the beginning is super important, but you have to keep it the whole time through as well. Here are five ways to keep attention all the way through… here are the rules of engagement:

1. Check your speed – brain can capture much more than mouth can speak. Don’t speak too slow or people will race ahead of you. It’s not that its unimportant what they are saying but the pace will say it isn’t as important. But talking too fast can exhaust people as well.

2. Slow down in the curves – give people indications that you are transitioning from one point to the next. Saying something more than once in a different way. Warn people by letting them know what is coming up, this provides them to catch back up with you if they are distracted or behind for whatever reason. By creating this transition, people can get back with you (rejoin you).

3. Navigate through the text – the text sometimes bogs people down but this should be a engaging time. Keep them in a central text while you read others, comment on long portions of reading, explain hard words, express your thoughts on this passage, help them anticipate what’s coming, deliberately read the text wrong to get them thinking, have them to finish a verse, use visuals as much as you can, and resist to share everything you know about the text. So engage the people with the text, don’t bore them with it.

4. Add something unexpected to the trip – when something unusual happens, everyone is engaged. If lights go out, do interviews, someone paint or draw while you speak, etc., people will be engaged. We miss many good opportunities just because we are not creative when we have the chance to speak. Plan something unexpected. Let others help give you ideas.

5. Take the most direct route – your audience needs to know where you’re going on the journey. They want to know where you are going so don’t make them sit through half of the message wondering where you are going with this message. Yes sometimes making them wonder can be good but you have to know how to lead them and can’t keep them in the dark for long. Direct route is usually better.

  • Find your voice. 

Many sermons are talking at people, not to people

You cannot and should not part your preaching and sermons from your “normal” way of talking. Be the same person in pulpit and out of pulpit.

If you talk in 3rd person and talk about others, it is never personal. Converse with the audience by acknowledging that they are there. Talk to them, not at them.

Listen to your own messages and criticize how and what you say. Listen to it on audio as well as video.

Find your voice means you must find out who you are and be that person, not changing when you get on stage.

Authenticity covers a lot of problems. No one wants to hear a clone of someone else or your pulpit person, be who you are. This means to be who God made you, but this is not a excuse to not be boring either.

  • Find some traction. 

When you get stuck, have tools you can use.

1st, pray – getting on your fave before God and find out if there’s something that is blocking your way.

2nd, have a list of questions –

  • What do they need to know? This is the Biblical principle that they must know. Information
  • Why do they need to know it? This is the motivation to get them to apply it. Answering why will convince them to follow you in the remainder of the message.
  • What do they need to do? This is the application. Have you given them a way to apply it to their daily lives? Every message has at least one application. Be very specific. But do not be realistic. Be creative on how to apply this.
  • Why do they need o do it? This is the inspiration, what their lives will look like once they have applied the truth. Why should they do what you are asking? Make a list of reasons why and read them to the people. Imagine what it would look like if this was applied.
  • What can I do to help them remember? Hand out a 3×5 with a memory verse on it, hand out some reminder to help them remember the lesson. Reiteration.

If there’s something that gets you on a tangent, you need to get back on track.

Tools do not have to be and should not be difficult. The best tools are basic.