Category: Book Reviews

Courageous Leadership

by Bill Hybels

 

– The local church is the hope in this world and it primarily lies upon the leadership of its leaders.

 

– One of the most powerful weapons a leader has is his vision

• Pray God gives you a vision – it may come from reading Scripture, it may come from seeing something or hear something, etc.

• Have you fasted, prayed and asked to hear from God? Have you traveled and seen the need? Have you visited other ministries to be open and able to think? Have you closed out the noise of every day sounds and busyness so that you can better receive what God wants to give you? You must internally prepare your heart for God to speak to you and you must externally prepare yourself by visiting and seeing the need and what is going on.

• We must embody the vision and live it out passionately so others know we believe it.

• We must learn how to communicate the vision. Talk about it collectively and individually.

• Vision creates ownership. • Vision provides focus

 

– Build a dream team

• A team of people that has Character (someone who lives right), Confidence (someone who knows how to do it) and Chemistry (someone that can get along with me and others).

• Don’t overlook the people that are currently with you. Some of the greatest leaders that can for part of your team are already working amongst you as volunteers and church members.

• Make sure the right people are in the right position.

• Raise the level of communication within your team.

• Award team members for a job well done. Paul mentioned names at the end of his books of the people that had worked and helped in ministry.

• As spiritual leaders, you have the greatest blessing to get to work in ministry, but we can do it with a team of people and enjoy every step of the way.

 

– Teach on giving in the church.

• God can supply much more than anyone else and he places people in our churches to help and give… but we have to teach them and make them aware.

• Most spiritual leaders believe that everyone understands what giving is and the needs of a church are, but most people do not understand how to give, why to give and what the giving is for.

• A spiritual leader should give a yearly series on financial administration of a Christian’s money.

• Where does the money go? People want to know, need to know and have a right to know. Who makes the decisions? What are the needs? Finances should be explained and there should be an open book policy about the finances.

 

– Leadership at its core is influence, so keep your eyes open for people who can influence others.

• Pray for those leaders you’re going to have on your team and then intrust them with responsibilities.

• If you find someone who is an influencer, then check to see if they have strong character.

• Next see if that person has people skills, can they listen and get along with people. Does that person have a concern and compassion for others? Can they relate to other people?

• Next, see if they have drive. You want people who have drive on your team. People who have enough energy to energize others.

• Finally, look for people who have intelligence. We’re not talking about someone with a good SAT score, we are talking about street-smart, someone who understands things.

 

– While we can differ on how to teach someone, we can definitely agree that it takes a leader to train another leader.

– What will energize you to keep going as a leader is to see other leaders that you have help along the way now succeeding.

– Morale is super important. When a leader sees that morale is sagging, it is his job to raise it up. There are too many people that can attest that they have never received a note of encouragement or boost of morale from their leader. Your staff, paid or unpaid, should receive encouragement from you as the leader.

– Effective leaders have to lead in each direction – north, south, east and west. Those above them, below them and around them.

– One of the hardest people to lead is yourself.

– We as leaders must grow ourselves.

• May God give us a heart of optimism like David.

• May God give us a heart of love like Jonathan. Love is better than vision.

• May God give us a heart of integrity like Joseph. Power tends to corrupt, but Joseph did not let power corrupt him. Joseph saw his leadership as an administration for and from God.

• May God give us a heart of decisiveness like Joshua. Joshua stood up and said, “choose you this day whom you will serve but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord” (24:15). Joshua made a decision and stood by it. We must be leaders who can make decisions and help other people make decisions, we cannot cowered away from this. • May God give us courage like that of Esther. She was willing to do what’s right no matter if it cost her position, status or even her own life. We must lead our ministries with courage.

• May God give us wisdom like that of Solomon. We need wisdom to discern what to do how to do things. • May God give us confidence in him like that of Jeremiah. Yet moments of discouragement, crying and disappointments, but he still trusted and confided in the Lord.

• May God give us victory to celebrate like that up Nehemiah. At times of building, stopped to celebrate and share the victory with others.

• May God make us like Peter, willing to step out and take action. Peter messed up multiple times, but he was still not afraid to step out and take action. Although he sank in the water, he was the only want to get out of the boat. Although he said sometimes more than he could do, he was the only one who would make commitments many times.

– Leaders need different activities to help not let stress build up.

– Leaders need safe people in whom they can share and be accountable to in many areas.

– Leaders need the right perspective to get through problems and every day life. We need an internal perspective, remembering that these things are temporal and remember why we are doing what we are doing.

Career, Find your True Gift

by Anthony Robbins

 

– When you enjoy your work, it’s like a miracle.

– Fulfillment in life is growing and giving. When you work, and do what you like, you’re giving meaning to your life. People that do not have fulfillment in life, lose excitement in life.

– The secret of really being fulfilled is to know what your gift is and do that.

– Many people are successful but they are not happy because they are not doing what fulfills their life’s gift.

– All of us have an in-born talent but finding it and using it is the beauty.

– No one ever on their deathbed wished that they would’ve spent more time in the office.

– Learn to understand people so that you can enter into the world. By doing this, you can eliminate so much stress people carry.

– There is power in concentration, when you concentrate your focus.

– Figure out what you want and what skills you need to get it and then find someone or something to help you get the skills and achieve your goal.

– If you do not feed your mind with good stuff, other things will end up growing there. Just like a garden, when you don’t plant or take care of it, weeds just show up.

livC. H. Spurgeon, The People’s Preacher

by Peter Morden

 

– He wrote four books a year.

– Started many chapels (churches, bible studies and preaching points all over)

– He supported many of the ministries he started by his book royalties.

– Had 2 secretaries that helped specifically with all of the letters he received.

– He had a 12,000 volume library.

– Many pastor said he was vulgar in the pulpit and did not like his way of preaching.

– Wrote a magazine called the sword and the trowel and had it sent out everywhere.

– Started of the pastors college because young men wanted to learn about ministry.

– He held classes every Friday and would teach.

– Worked on messages and although he wrote many messages, he threw away several while looking for what to preach. He would thumb through the Bible until a passage gripped him so much that he knew that’s what he was supposed to preach.

– He wanted to make the church larger but the deacons would not let him so one day while he was preaching he turned around and said, “like the walls of Jericho fell, by faith may this wall will come down.”

Boundaries in Marriage

by Henry Cloud & John Townsend

 

– Boundaries help us determine where something begins or something ends. Boundaries also help us determine ownership as well as responsibilities. Boundaries also Provide protection (to keep the bad out and the good in).

 

– 10 laws of boundaries:

1. The law of Sowing and Reaping.

– Our actions have consequences.

– The old saying that you hurt most the ones you love most is very true.

2. The law of Responsibility.

– The spouse has to feel responsible for the feelings of the other spouse.

– We are responsible to each other but not for each other. – Gal 6:2,5

3. Law of Power.

– You have the power to change yourself.

– Many times we do that which we do not want to, but we do have the power to change it.

– We have to take the beam out of our own eye first – Matthew 7:1–5

– We cannot change others, but we can influence them for the good.

4. Law of Respect.

– If we wish for others to respect our boundaries, we have to respect their’s.

– Dying to your wishes and seeing things their way.

5. Law of Motivation.

6. Law of Evaluation.

– Sometimes we need to go through pain or rough times to learn a lesson.

– You must decipher if the pain leads to injury or it leads to growth… if to injury, than change, but if it leads to growth than bear the pain and learn.

7. Law of Proactivity.

– Proactive boundaries keep freedom.

– Proactive people deal with or face problems all the time, but they hold onto the love they have.

8. Law of Envy.

– Envy is focusing on what others have instead of what we have. Always comparing and looking at others.

– Adam and Eve felt envy in the garden of Eden when they had everything that they could want except for one thing… and they wanted that.

– Envy is miserable.

9. Law of Activity.

– This law states that we should take action and fix our problems instead of staying passive.

– It is taking initiative.

– Active people make many steaks and wise people learn from those mistakes.

– All that evil needs to abound is for people to do nothing.

10. Law of Exposure.

– Law of exposure states that we must be clear and talk about what our boundaries are. Your spouse should know where lines are drawn, but cannot know unless you talk about them.

– Problems can be resolved and even avoided when boundaries are exposed. When things are talked about, they can be agreed-upon.

– We must take responsibility for our own lives, we cannot shift the responsibility to others.

– Boundaries with ourselves are much more important than boundaries in our marriage.

– Anytime we put our eyes on our own good, we are taking our eyes off of our own need for love and forgiveness.

– You cannot make your spouse grow up, but you can’t let their immaturity avoid some of the consequences it brings.

– Our highest calling to our spouses is to love them, just like our highest calling as a Christian is to love God.

– We should not try to play God in our marriage – when we try to act like God, we fail to love our spouse because we are trying to fix them.

– We could not live in denial. We cannot say that we are without sin or problems – 1 John 1:8. The opposite of denial is confession.

– Thinking that the sun rises and sets on us is damaging and destructive to our marriage. We must give more of ourselves than we might be comfortable with.

– Marriage exposes our weaknesses and failures to our spouse.

– Love cannot grow in an environment of fear.

– We must respect our spouses “no”.

– Do not punish a bad decision.

– We should not use guilt to con or get our own way.

– The golden rule, Jesus’ words on treating others like we would want to be treated, is the answer to how the marriage should be ran.

– Spouses should complete and complement each other, making them better

– Mature spouses always think of the needs and feelings of the other person.

– Valuing your wife’s opinion does not mean that you cannot do it without him or her, it means you care and want to know what they think.

– Allow a person the freedom of being different

– Galatians 5:13–14

– If you try to control or restrict your spouse, your companionship is destroyed.

– We should remember that ultimately we have to respond to God for how we treat each other. Our marriage is more than just about our spouse, it is about our God as well.

– You may want to give into the temptation to ignore or not listen, snapback or not care, but remember that you must submit to God and do what he teaches and commands.

– God’s ways work and if you would just do them, your marriage will work as well.

– The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves. That means you so deeply identify the feelings of your spouse that you identify her feelings as your feelings.

– Look past your behavior to the affects of your behavior.

– See your spouse as if you were him/her – would you want to be treated like that?

– Make a commitment to your spouse, enter into a covenant. God makes a covenant with us, that he would love us and never leave us. Hebrews 13:5.

– If someone is not committed in marriage, and if leaving is an option, then why try to work it out and go through the pain, isn’t it easier just to leave? Some do not leave physically, but they do leave emotionally… taking their heart out of it.

– A runner can not see the finish line when he’s only halfway through the race, but the commitment to finish will keep him going. And so it is with marriage, the commitment to continue may take give you what you need to see it you through.

– Commitment provide security to your spouse that you are going to continue even through hard times.

– Love is the foundation for marriage, love for God and love for the other person. It is sacrificial, giving and selfless.

– Deception undermines love; lying in a marriage does harm but the lying itself does much more than what is being lied about.

– Intimacy comes from knowing the other person on a deep level.

– If you are to have a good relationship, you must commit to each other to be honest – but remember that you must show grace when your spouse is being honest.

– Many things compete for your love. A marriage does not stay strong just because you started off with a good marriage, you must work at it.

– As a bank guards it’s money, so a marriage must guard it’s most valuable thing, love.

– Here are some intruders that weakens the bond of marriage: work, kids, outside hobbies and interests, TV, in-laws, financial strains, friends, addictions, affairs, etc. Some things are not bad in themselves, but if not careful, they can be intruders in a marriage.

– Marriage is not supposed to be the end-all of fulfillment, that would be idolatry. God is the only one who could fulfill us completely. Colossians 1:17

– Date nights are a very important instrument that can prevent intruders in a marriage. Intimacy is another way to prevent intruders in a marriage. – If you have character issues, do not blame it on your spouse.

 

– You cannot fix a problem if:

1. You do not recognize it. (if you will not admit it and do not see it, nothing will get better.)

2. You will not talk about it. (you have to talk about it to fix things)

3. You will not own it. (Confess, apologize, or forgive if needed.)

 

– Remember the basic laws of communication:

1. Listen and try to understand the other person.

2. Empathize with the other person.

3. Do not devalue what the other person is saying by defending or justifying, just listen.

4. Clarify what the other person is saying by asking questions.

5. Use “I” statements letting the person know that you understand and take responsibility.

 

– Boundaries work best when both of the spouses agree. Love flourishes when both spouses respect and receive the boundaries of the other.

– Revenge is not an option for us, revenge belongs to God.

– Ignoring a problem will not make it better. Time alone does not heal things, you must face it and fix it.

– Almost never is their a problem in that one spouse is 100% wrong and the other spouse 0% wrong, almost always there is a shared blame a problem.

– Forgiveness is burning the account.

Black Like Me

By John Howard Griffin

 

True story of a man who paints his skin or dies his skin black and shaves his head to see how the racist tension is towards him as a black man. He is immediately accepted by the black people and they give him a place to stay, warn him and help him along the way. The white people discriminate by calling him names, not letting him sit down or use restrooms in certain places, and much more. He kept his name Though he keeps the same name or does not change his voice, he was not rejected by the whites but was excepted by the black just because of his skin color.

Pretty interesting that just because of the color of his skin he is totally accepted by the blacks and finds out that they are nice, cordial and protective over their “own people”. His observation is that the blacks love their kids like white people, they are moral or immoral just like white people, etc.

The missionary application reminds me of Hudson Taylor, a man who rejected the western culture to become Chinese in his dress, culture and food diet. The westerners rejected him, but the Chinese accepted him.

If a missionary keeps his “American attitude” (believing he is superior) he will be treated as an outsider, but if he will jump into the culture and become like the people, he will be accepted, loved and protected by the people he is working wit

Anatomy of a Missions Church

by Ron Maggard

 

– Head – Christ is the head of the church.

– Feet – we are the feet to carry the gospel.

– Hand – His hand must be upon us to get anything done.

– Ears – we need to hear from God, have our ears open and be listening.

– Eyes – we must see like our Savior sees. See the great need and have compassion. Double vision. They are sheep without a pastor.

– Heart – we must have a heart like God’s heart. Be tender.

– Knees – prayer is a very vital part of the church and is very much lacking today.

 

– “The man who mobilizes the Christian church to pray will make the greatest contribution to world evangelization in history.” — Andrew Murray

– “The need is great everywhere but it is still greatest in the regions beyond. May we not forget any of them. May God set our hearts on fire to get the Gospel to the next towns until we have reached the uttermost part of the earth.” — Ron Maggard

Adoniram Judson, Bound for Burma

by Janet and Geoff Benge

 

– Began reading at three years old.

– Very intelligent young man, top of this class.

– Arrived to college at age 16. Finished college in three years instead of four – upon taking his entrance test, he was able to skip his freshman year because he was so intelligent.

– He had to drop out of school for a while to work and get money, but went back and made up the classes and still finished as valedictorian.

– Became a deist because of a rich friend. It saddened his parents but he thought he was so intelligent that he could explain everything.

– One day he went to his uncles house and met a young preacher and he said that the preacher did not have all the intellectual answers, but had something that he, Judson, did not have.

– He got his horse and started traveling west and when he came to a hotel, he stayed in a room with a young man that was dying on the other side of a hung-sheet that divided the room. He could not sleep that night because of the groans and began to wonder what was going to happen to that young man. He thought about death, eternity, ghosts, and dreamed about skeletons dancing on the grave. He thought how his dearest friend would mock him for just having those thoughts. He woke up the next morning and found out that the young man next to his room died. Come to find out it was that same deist friend that had let him astray. It shook him to his core.

– He got on track for the Lord and went to another college. God began to get a hold of his heart.

– He checked out a small booklet from the library that talked about the need around the world and he believed God was calling him to missions.

– The director of that seminary offered to him the position of assistant pastor at the largest church in all of New England. He rejected it because he said God wanted him to be a missionary.

– He along with four other men banded together to take the Gospel to those around the world. They did not have funds so him and another friend traveled to London to ask the London missionary Society if they would support the five Americans to go as missionaries.

– He met Ann, later to become his wife, at a church and began corresponding with her. She wanted Judson to talk to her dad, who was a deacon, and soon Judson wrote a letter to her parents telling them if she marries him, they may never see her again. They agreed and soon Judson married Ann.

– On their way to India, Judson was studying and became convinced that baptism was by immersion and not sprinkling. So he was baptized and became a Baptist.

– Multiple times the East India Company tried to not let Judson stay as a missionary, but he was persistent and got on the boat heading to Burma.

– Their first baby was born dead.

– At different times they found favor in the eyes of the government officials and we’re protected.

– When Britain fought against Burma, he was arrested and taken to jail as a spy. He was beaten, mistreated and for over a year every night they chained him up and his feet were lifted off the ground, only leaving his head and shoulders on the ground at night.

– His wife buried his translation of the Bible that he had been working on for years b/c she knew it would decay so she put it into a lumpy pillow and took it to Adoniram in jail.

– He stayed in jail for a long time until the war ended. The government needed to translate the British agreement to end the war and the only people that could translate was Judson and his friends that were in jail.

– After they were taken out of jail, Judson was nervous about his Bible translation, believing that he had lost it. Come to find out, the guards found his pillow and threw it out because it was so nasty. Judson’s first convert just happened to be passing by that prison and saw the old pillow thrown in the street. Knowing the pillow belonged to, he took it to him and the translation work was saved. God’s amazing sovereignty!

– His wife died and sometime after he married a missionary wife whose husband died a few years earlier. They had a couple of children together and then were to travel back to the United States for a time. She died, leaving Judson a widower once again.

– Judson became ill and was told to take a trip at sea to get better. As he was on the ship, he had nothing to read so a man on the ship gave him a book to read. Judson began to read it and said he very much liked the style of the author. Judson said he would like to meet her and the owner of the book laughed, saying that could be arranged since the author just happened to be staying at his house. Judson met her and after corresponding for a time, they married. She was 30 years old and Judson was 54 or 57 years old. They married and went back to Burma together.

52 Things Wives Need from their Husbands

by Jay Payleitner

 

– Never suggest or think that marriage is a 50-50 proposition. We are a team, we share and console, we help, give and receive. Marriage is 100-100.

– Wives need their husbands to kiss them.

– Thinking about what your bride likes will strengthen your marriage.

– Think about, study and know what your wife likes and then make it happen.

– A wise husband will make a list of the things that his wife likes and update it regularly. Then every week try to get or do one of the things that she likes.

– Wives need their husbands to leave so that they can cleave. You cannot hold onto your mother and family and still try to cleave to your wife.

– The family that you came from is not as important as the family that you have.

– While a guy can be ready for sex in matter of seconds, a woman can’t be derailed from sex in a matter of seconds. So learn to put distractions out of the way: a lock on the door, kids laid down or busy, music on, phone off, etc.

– Never go to bed bad, it’s better to stay up and fight.

– If you believe what the comedians and other say about marriage (that it is either a prison or battleground) than you really deserve what you have.

– You might not always get what you want, but you get what you expect – Charles Spurgeon

– Challenge yourself to go several days without saying anything mean or negative to your wife. Better yet, try to say something nice to your wife every day for a week.

– You as the husband need to read the verses before and after Ephesians 5:22.

– Your wife needs you to take the leadership role, but she need you to lead in love.

– We are quick to say that we would take a bullet for our wife, but that will probably never happen. She doesn’t need you to take a bullet, she needs you to sacrificially love her – that means putting her needs before yours.

– Wives need their husbands to ask forgiveness in a tone that says they really mean it.

– Asking forgiveness and giving forgiveness is what Christians do, because we have a great teacher: Jesus.

– Protect your marriage by not keeping secrets or having a relationship with other women besides your wife.

– Insist on your wife’s input, you would likely be helped by it.

– Wives need their husbands to be the pastor of their home. Just be the best Christian that you can be, and your wife and children will be encouraged to be the best Christians as well. Do, then model, then teach.

– Agree on what you will spend money on – finances cause big problems in marriage. Give the God, be generous, don’t go in debt, save,…

– Wives need their husbands to only have eyes for her.

– The world’s concept is that you can look but not touch, but Jesus said looking is adultery as well. You must let your wife be the point of your fantasy, no one else. Your bride is the most beautiful woman in the world, so start acting like it, believing it and seeing it.

– Your wife is as beautiful as you see her. Beauty is more in the mind than it is the eyes.

– Don’t be afraid to be a family man, it brings some of the greatest joys. We are pressured to believe that masculinity is taken away when we have a minivan and help our kids, but that is so far from the truth.

– One of the reasons that we have our wives is to keep us accountable.

– You lose almost every time you go into a rage. Proverbs 14:17 – Have love in your marriage that is intentional, sacrificial and continual.

– Work on the areas that you are weak in – you need help from your wife and your Creator. You can and should have a plan to work on areas. –

It takes real strength to be gentle.

– Learn to be smart and overlook things.

– Surrendering to your wife’s request is usually a very smart move to make.

– Your wife need you to be a father to the children. She automatically has a bond to the children because of caring them and birthing them, but too many fathers are absent in the children’s lives.

– Your wife needs you to stay away from flirting with anybody but her.

– Your children will have a much greater chance of getting married and staying married if you will work through your problems and stay married instead of getting divorced.

– If something is on the honey-do list, be a honey and do it.

– Your wife needs you as the husband to put her second, making God first in marriage as well as your own life. If you love and follow God, He will teach you how to be the best husband, father and man – and that’s what your wife and your family needs.

– With God, your marriage is stronger. Ecclesiastes 4:12.

– Your wife need you to repudiate porn. It is not enough to just turn away from, you must turn to the Lord. He’s the only one who can help you and give victory in this seductive world. If your eye causes you to fall, gouge it out and don’t let it make you fall. Matthew 18:9.

– Kiss your wife. Do it in public, in front of your kids and frequently. Hold her and look in her before you kiss her telling her that you love her, but do make sure you kiss her. Kiss her unselfishly, not only when you want sex.

– The thought of giving is more valuable than the gift. Think of your wife and get her something.

– Understand that there will come a time when you fade out in your love, but keep loving. Every good sports player and coach knows the importance of going back to the basics. So go back to doing the basics in marriage: doing things friends do, doing things lovers do, going on walks, etc. Falling in love is fantastic, but staying in love is even better.

– You can make your wife looks beautiful – to others, to you and to herself. Tell her and see her through eyes that believes she is beautiful. If you see your wife as beautiful, she is!