by Heath Lambert
– God has forgiving grace and transforming grace. You have the power to change and can change.
– There are two kinds of sorrows over sin: worldly sorrow and godly sorrow. Worldly sorrow is sad over the things one is about to lose, but godly sorrow is sad about hurting God.
– Until you realize what you’re sin is doing to your relationship with God, nothing is going to change.
– You will not be free from the sin of pornography until you realize that you need help from other brothers and sisters in Christ.
– We are commanded to carry the burdens of others (Galatians 6:1-2), so we should help our brothers that need help because one day we may need their help.
– Ways to better use accountability for our good:
1. Effective accountability does not rely solely on the other person (accountability partner). If you rely on other people as your only weapon in the battle against porn, you will fail. Accountability is important, but it is only one of the tools used in overcoming porn.
2. Effective accountability is involved earlier rather than later. Don’t just recognize your sin of the past, ask God to help you with future temptations.
3. Effective accountability involves someone with maturity. If you don’t find help from someone who has had victory over sin, someone who is spiritually mature and spends time with God, you’re likely not going to get help overcoming your sin. Galatians 6:1 implies that a more spiritual brother help a less spiritual brother; you need help from a stronger Christian.
4. Effective accountability involves someone with authority. Yes you need help from someone who is more spiritually mature, but you also need help from leadership – Hebrews 13:17. God has given more spiritual authority to spiritual leaders, so find one that can help you.
5. Effective accountability should avoid explicit details. Sharing details of struggles can fuel the fire for other temptations amongst the listeners. Ephesians 5:11-12. You cross a biblical line when you go from giving general details of sins to specific or gross details of sins.
6. Effective accountability places the responsibility of confession on the person with the problem.
7. Effective accountability must actually hold people accountable. Find someone with the desire and courage that will actually hold you accountable. This is more than just someone to meet with you, this is someone who will pray for you, receive your calls and talk with you. Commitment to help you overcome your sins.
– You can pray big and ask God to help you with the temptation, but if you do not do everything within your power to get rid of the accessibility (or availability), you are not going to overcome porn. Matthew 5:27-30
– There are two decisions and two outcomes; a easy path that leads to destruction and a hard path that leads to life.
– Radical measures must start in your thought life.
– Just as if you only ripped off the top of a plant it will grow back because the root is still there, so the nasty sin of porn will keep coming back if you only stop the physical measures. You must change your mindset, your thoughts, about ridding of the temptations and sin.
– Radical measures concerning your thoughts about porn:
1. Repent. Realize how this is hurting you, God and others.
2. Remember Scriptures. Scripture memory is what will help you overcome sin in your thoughts. Psalms 119:11 3. Reach out for help. You cannot fight this battle alone, you must call in reinforcements. Find people who will help you keep accountable and help you overcome this in your life.
– Radical measures concerning your time:
1. You must limit your time alone or you will not overcome porn. If you’re in a room with others, if your friends or pastor is with you, you will not be looking at porn, but when you are alone, the temptations are greater.
2. You must be honest with your accountability partner about the times that you were alone. You can study, be with others, play sports, etc., but you must be careful about being alone. Have someone call you at a specific time. Make sure someone knows where you are at, go to bed when your spouse does, be with a group or do whatever you need to in order not to be alone.
3. Take radical measures of your access to porn. Most people will view it over and over through the same access points. Allow someone to have access to your phone personal space at home. If you know stop you before looking. someone to have an access code to browse the Internet on your phone computer. If you have to go to the extreme of getting rid of devices, do it. The truth is that you do not need any devices to live, but you do need to be holy.
– Confessing your sins to others can be helpful. Just like surgery (removing the harmful so that you can heal), so can confession to others help.
– There is no mercy when you’re pride is not willing to humble and confess.
– Confess to those that are directly impacted by your sin, but be careful not to involve those that are not impacted by your sin or to give too many details because it could have the opposite effect.
– Proverbs 5:15-20
– Move from danger (the forbidden woman) to delight (your wife).
– People who look at porn he have an arrogant heart, it stems from pride. We are told that porn is a problem and that people run to porn because they are not fulfilled in other areas of their life, but this is not a problem we can blame on someone else.
– Looking at porn is an arrogant distain for our children and disrespect for God and the women we are looking at when we look at porn.
– It is impossible to look at porn and be humble at the same time.
– Use gratitude to overcome porn – Ephesians 5:3-4
– Looking at porn is greed and un-satisfaction.
– God prohibits immoral acts, immoral speech, a greedy heart towards immorality and behavior that gets us to immorality.
– God wants us to replace immorality with gratitude. The opposite of gratitude is greed.
– Thankfulness is being content with what God has already given, satisfied with what we have right now. Do you think on what you already have or lust for what you do not have?
– Stop being greedy and start being grateful. The devil wants you to desire more, what is not yours, but God teaches and commands us to be grateful for what we already have. This is more than an attitude, this is a powerful tool to fight and overcome porn.
– Think about what God has given you, a wife. Think about her laugh, her body, who she is and what you could share together. Your wife is a gift from God.
– The result of gratitude is gladness.