Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled Generation: Book Review by Jeff Bush

by Kristen Welch 

• How can we explain or expect gratitude from our children if we are not showing it in our own lives.

• Although our children should expect our love and acceptance, they must learn not to expect the material things this world places in front of them.

• Entitlement winds its way through families. Everything from portion sizes, presents, activities, clothes and toys.

• Resolving entitlement starts with teaching your children to be thankful for what they already have.

• Entitlement has always been around, so maybe it’s the parenting that has changed and not the children. We are giving without making them earn, not saying no and overindulging.

• Proverbs 22:6 has another side to it, a negative one. If you allow children to do whatever they want, they are not going to depart from their bad ways even when they’re old. 

• Sometimes parents say no so often that they lose the opportunities to explain why they say no.

• Sadly, parents feel pressured to give their children things they don’t necessarily need because everyone else is giving it to their children (best schools, sports, brand names, vacations, etc.).

• Begin your quest for contentment. Is Jesus really enough for you?

• The blurry line of being friend and parent is one of the most controversial lines in parenting today.

• Kids need to learn how to problem solve. Parents do not need to rob this lesson from them.

• We cannot make our parenting decisions based on what other parents are doing.

• Temporary unhappiness from kids not getting their way can make for happiness as adults that love God and others.

• Wanting our kids to be happy all the time might just be feeding their entitlement attitude.

• Let your kids be devastated at age six so their first time is not when they are in college.

• Tell your kids it’s more important who they are then what they have.

• It is not your job as a parent to provide exciting activities every leisure moment. Kids are known for saying they are bored, but they need to learn to go outside, be creative and find things to do. 

• Challenge your kids to turn their phone around and take pictures of others instead of themselves. Take them to a homeless shelter. Teach them to think of others.

• Parents should make restrictions on their kid’s social media platforms/accounts, and should not feel bad about it.

• You should ask and know your children’s passwords and accounts. This is not an invasion of privacy, it is protecting your children. There are predators and dangerous people out there that want to hurt your children.

• We must teach our children self control. We will not always be with them to help make decisions, so they must learn to make decisions on their own. Proverbs 25:28

• Obedience should be expected not suggested. But do so with grace and love.

• Losing is good for your kids, not bad. Giving a participation trophy does not teach them about life, in fact, it makes them expect more.

• Make your marriage more important than your children, it’s what you and your kids need. 

• Nothing makes us more grateful than perspective.

• The best way to teach gratitude is to model it. Do they see you saying thank you, writing a thank you card and being kind to the server at a restaurant?

• You may get mad or feel you’ve messed up with your kids, but there’s time to ask forgiveness… so do it when necessary. 

• Talking to older parents will help coach you as you’re raising your kids.

• 7 Ways yo Teach Gratitude to our Kids, instead of Entitlement:

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. Teach ownership. Chores and responsibilities. Their clothes and possessions. 
            2. Stress the value of money. Saving and spending money. Let them have an allowance for their work or an amount on vacation and not get more when it’s spent. It’s easier for them to spend your money than theirs. Teach and encourage them to give. 
            3. Emphasize the value of hard work. Make work part of your daily routine. Teach them to pick up after themselves as well as specific jobs around the house. Let them be in charge of making dinner and cleaning up after meals.
            4. Teach responsibility and consequences. Require them to do their own laundry when they get to a certain age, and when they run out of clean items don’t run to the rescue. It is hard to watch your kids fail, but sometimes that’s what they need to do. 
            5. See the benefits of delayed gratification. In a world of instant gratification children must learn to delay the immediate reward for the later reward. The reward that is worked for and waited for is usually much more valued. 
            6. Give your children a larger worldview. Perspective is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children and yourself, and service is a great way to package it. Not everyone in the world has what you have, many have far less. Your kids need to know that. Take them to work at a homeless shelter or places they can help and as see the need of others. Your family is at its best when you are helping serve others. 
            7. Strive to instill faithfulness. Persevering when things are hard is often rewarding. 

• Don’t ground your children from spiritual activities. Sometimes parents will not let their children go to a church event because of the way they acted. But they need that influence more than other things they have or do in life.

• One of the greatest gifts we can ask from the Lord is wisdom. 

• Nothing we can do or say can ever substitute for bowing our heads and praying for our children. 

• Prayer is often the last thing we think when raising kids, but God wants to walk this path with us. And there’s nothing greater than telling our parental needs to the One who parents us.