By Gary Chapman (summary by Jeffrey Bush)
- Relationships are built by seeking understanding, and they are torn down by
interruptions and arguments. - If you greet and treat others with respect, they will be more willing to listen to your
point of view. - Learn the art of respect. Respect is a major ingredient in building positive in-law
relationships. - Respect allows freedom of choice. The opposite of respect is manipulation.
- You cannot gain respect by showing disrespect.
- Ideas should be shared as suggestions, not demands. You can respect another
person‘s ideas without having to follow their ideas. - “You” statements usually start fights. Use “I” statements.
- Negotiation is the opposite of withdrawal and resentment.
- Grant the gift of freedom. The greatest gift that parents can give to their married
children is freedom. - Don’t make your married children dependent on you. Marriage is about
independence, not dependence. - You don’t build positive in-law relationships by making negative comments about
someone else’s interests. - The ultimate key that unlocks the door of becoming friends with your in-laws is an
attitude of love. - If you want to help your in-laws, find out what they believe is helpful instead of using
your own judgment. - Genuine love is seldomly rejected, but someone must take the initiative to love.
- If you’re going to love your in-laws, you need kindness and patience.
- Failures call for apologies and apologies call for forgiveness.