Every time period has words and ideas that have become part of it’s generational DNA. In the 1980’s, popular buzzwords everyone used were gnarly, homeboy, radical, stellar, wannabe, and bodacious. In the 1990’s, some popular buzzwords were bling, boo-yah, trippin’, bada-bing, and dibs. The 2000’s brought on popular words such as sweet, wassup, peeps, and newbie. The 2010’s made popular chillax and lit and the 2020’s made useful the words virus and social distance.
In our specific day, the word “victim” has become widely used, accepted, and almost customary. Someone can be a victim of society, victim of their upbringing, or victim of circumstances. A person can be a victim because of work, school, law, church, parents, crime, or other forms of injustice. Their victimization can stem from physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, spiritual, mental, cyber, criminal, or psychological. The results of being a victim can be depression, sickness, isolation, fear, anger, helplessness, confusion, shame, grief, anxiety, and withdrawal.
While there are many people that have been genuinely mistreated and faced misfortune, many other people ride the wave of victimhood. The aim of this article is not to dismiss the difficulties of life, but rather offer hope to the reader. Your past does not have to predict your future. Your future is bright if you will set your eyes upon the God that made you. You were made for much more. Don’t buy into pop-phycology or popular trends that try to keep you down. Your problems can be overcome. You were created to be a victor, not a victim!
Allow me to offer four areas that are lacking in those who remain a victim and not a victor:
Lack of Prayer
Could it be that you don’t have victory because you are not asking God? Yes, God may have allowed you to go through trials, tribulations, and extremely difficult situations in your life, but please don’t forget that you have a Heavenly Father that has not abandoned you. If He allowed you to suffer in an area, He was with you during that suffering. You can ask for help, you can ask for deliverance, and you can ask for strength to endure.
In other areas of need, you should ask God to fulfill. Are you tired of being lonely? Ask God for a close friend or a spouse. Are you tired of feeling depressed? Ask God for a verse or a song that will lift you. Are you tired of being stressed? Ask God for the toughness to get through, and the strength to endure or change. Whatever your need is, there is an equal or greater solution from God.
I love the old hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” The first verse says, “Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer.” Never forget that you have a friend in Jesus, and you can take all of your problems and struggles to Him. There is no past that is too big for Him to handle. There’s no burden too heavy for Him. You don’t have to be a victim if you’ll simply take it to the Lord. Don’t keep silent, take your issue right now to the Judge of judges.
Lack of Acceptance
You may not like or agree with what happened to you in the past, but you do have a choice to make. You can stay a victim or you can accept that God allowed it to happen for some reason. Unless you are willing to accept it, you cannot move on. What if the person doesn’t deserve your forgiveness? What if the issue was so big you can’t forget it? Yes, what happened is real and cannot be erased, but you either accept the fact that God knew about it, or you will stay stuck in that moment of time. You don’t have to love what happened to accept it. You are accepting the fact that God knows, not the idea that you agree with what happened. If God is God, then let Him determine the details.
The story of Joseph in the Bible shines great light to this subject. Joseph was the eleventh son born of his father. He was unquestionably the favorite of his dad, to the point his dad made him a colorful coat to clarify his favoritism. Not much explanation is needed to understand why his brothers despised him. But his brothers took it way too far when they decided to sell him into slavery. They finally got rid of Joseph once and for all, or so they thought.
As the brothers conjured up a lie to tell their dad, the new owners of Joseph took him to Egypt. Joseph was passed from one place to another, abused, and mistreated as a slave. He worked for his life, literally. After years of work, he was promoted, only to be lied about and thrown back into prison. His bad luck seemed to be repeated once and again, moving up the ladder only to be thrown back down to start over. Finally, thirteen years later, Joseph is placed as ruler over Egypt (Genesis 41:43-46).
Not long after Joseph was put in charge, the Bible gives account of Joseph’s two sons that were born (Genesis 41:50-52). Children’s names had much more of a significance at that time then they do today. His first son was named Manasseh, which meant God “hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father’s house.” And the second-born was named Ephraim, which meant God “hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.” Notice the significance of their names. It’s much more than popular names of the day, it was a lesson God taught Joseph, and it is a lesson for us today. Joseph couldn’t have his second son (fruitful) before his first son (forgetful). He had to forget, get over and move past the pains (hated, sold into slavery, abused, and mistreated) in order to prosper. And the same goes today. If you do not accept your pains of past or present, you cannot move forward to see fruitfulness. The thought of victimhood wants to hold you down, but you must take the advice from Paul by “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before” (Philippians 3:13).
Lack of Work
Though there most definitely exists bad scenarios, you can decide to work hard and move forward. Victimhood will paralyze you with fear, anxiety, and withdrawal, but you can intentionally work to be bold, praise, and get out there. Don’t allow your past to hold you down when God has given you a reason to push forward. Strive to see the purpose God has for you. Force yourself to memorize God’s truth that will become your spiritual strength in the moments of weakness. The devil wants to shut you down and keep you quiet, but you can get back up and advance boldly for God.
Proverbs 13:4 says, “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.” The sluggard might have a reason for his laziness. He possibly has worked in the past and saw little to no fruit. He possibly was mistreated when he worked, had a bad example when growing up, or hindered in such a way that he never wanted to work again. Whatever the reason was, he stopped working, and the result was that he had nothing. The diligent, on the other hand, may have went through as many hard times as the sluggard, but he works and is made fat (prosperous). The diligent pushed forward by faith, not feelings, and as a result, he saw the desirable fruit. And if you desire to see future fruit in your life, you must not let the victim mentality disable you from working to move forward.
Lack of Ownership
Though life may have dealt you a bad hand, you still have to play with the hand you were dealt. Decide you will accept no excuses. If you do not take ownership, you will not break free to move forward. Victimhood is known for focusing on what others did to you whereas ownership takes responsibility to make something happen. Whether or not you are where you are because of your past doings, your future is determined by present actions. You don’t have to stay bitter, hurt, angry, ashamed, guilty, or helpless. You are responsible for your attitude and actions today. You can decide to let go of the past. You can determine to believe and work towards a better future. You can choose to trust that God has a purpose for your life. Circumstances or people might try to make you a victim, but don’t forget that God has made you a victor!
Here to Serve,
Jeffrey Bush