Didn’t See It Coming Book Review by Jeff Bush

By Carey Nieuwohf 

• How is it that people that apparently have everything are not happy? 

• Christians should be the least cynical people alive because we have hope.

• The answer to cynicism is the gospel, the good news.

• Being hurried looks for shortcuts. 

• If you will learn to listen longer than most people listen, you will learn more than most people learn.

• If you feel you need to be the authority on every area, you will kill conversations.

• Competency does not determine your capacity, it is character that determines your capacity. Character is your lid. 

• Lack of character destroys careers, relationships and confidence from others.

• Competency may impress the crowd, but it is character that will impress your family.

• No one will pull out your résumé of all you have accomplished at your funeral. The legacy you leave is determined by your character.

• It should be those who know you the best love and admire you the best, and your character will determine that. 

• It is easy and enjoyable to become more competent (listen to a book or podcast, learn a new hack, etc.). But are you working on your character, on yourself?

• The antidote is simple, work twice as hard on your character as you do your competency.

• Progress starts with honesty, and honesty is accepting responsibility instead of casting blame. Until you deal with your issues instead of pointing to others, you will not make progress.

• Out of all the lies we tell, the lies we tell ourselves are the worst.

• Conversation is on the decline. People are asking less questions today, meaning getting to know each other less. 

• Confession is lost today. No one seems to make mistakes any more. We refuse confession because it requires that we look in the mirror and admit we were wrong. 

• You won’t address what you won’t confess. 

• When are your past circumstances going to stop being your present excuses?

• Use your past as stepping stones instead of barricades. 

• Healthy people find explanations instead of excuses. 

• You can make excuses or progress, but you can’t make both. 

• Many times the people we admire most are less hurried. You must learn to eliminate the hurry in your life. 

• Pride leads you to a hardened heart. 

• Throughout Scripture we see God wanting to do much more with His children but cannot because of hardened hearts. 

• Prideful, hardened hearts cause you to act superior, judgmental, not accountable and isolated. 

• Only humility will get you out of what pride has gotten you into. 

• Nothing kills pride like humility.

• Humility only stays if you invite it and cultivate it. 

• Never lose your gratitude. 

• The more you have, the easier it is to lose your gratitude.  

• Gratitude causes you to not remain the star; it allows you to focus on the giver instead of the gift. 

• Humility will learn from anyone anyone. 

• Check your motives constantly. 

• Everyone knows your weaknesses, so level with yourself and be honest about them. 

• Eleven signs of Burnout:

1. 1. 1. 1. Your passion fades. 
         2. You no longer feel the highs or lows.
         3. Little things make you feel proportionally wrong.
         4. Everyone drains you. 
         5. You’re becoming cynical. 
         6. Nothing satisfies you.
         7. You can’t think straight. 
         8. Your productivity diminishes.
         9. You’re self medicating. 
         10. You don’t laugh anymore. 
         11. Sleep and time no longer fuel you. 

• Your unresolved issues will hurt you and others. 

• If you leave Jesus out of the cure, you will never get better. 

• Recovering from burnout:

1. 1. 1. 1. Tell someone. Swallow your pride.
         2. Develop a crowd around you. You need others.
         3. Keep leaning into God. Just because you don’t feel like God loves you doesn’t mean He doesn’t love you. 
         4. Rest. Someone said you are at your kindest when you are rested, so get some rest. 
         5. Find something to take your attention away from your pain. Distraction can be a powerful thing.
         6. Do what you can. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Keep moving. What can you do today? Do that. 
         7. Don’t make any big decisions. 
         8. Grieve your losses. Taking time to grieve, will help you.
         9. Reopen your heart. Burnout causes you to become cynical and numb, but open up and trust again. 
         10. Live today in a way that will help you thrive tomorrow. Maintain health in the top five: spiritual, emotional, relational, physical and financial. 

• Denial is an accelerator for burnout. 

• Pride and fear will keep you in burnout and not allow you to get the help you need. 

• God’s favorite people to use are the broken ones. God has not left you no matter how you feel. 

• If God is doing surgery, let Him go as deep as He wants to go. 

• Working is healthy, overworking is not. 

• Self care is better than self medicating. Self care asks the question, “What can I do today that will help me live in a way I can thrive tomorrow?” 

• If you want to beat emptiness, find a mission that’s bigger than you. 

• Prayer is not a button to be pushed but a relationship to pursue.