Tag: Isolation

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Grieving

By James R. White (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • God’s promise is that He’ll be with His children as they mourn, not that He will keep
    them from such things.
  • Christians are not spared from grief, but they are spared from grief without hope.
  • The culture avoids speaking of grief. It is expected for one to handle things on their
    own, but grief is not handled well alone.
  • The big question about grief is how much time someone needs to get over it. The
    truth is that one will never fully get over it.
  • The greatest pressures through the grief process is not from others (employers,
    friends and family), rather from one’s self.
  • Grieving is natural, it takes time, and it is individual.
  • How one deals with the grieving process will determine if one becomes angry, lonely,
    or bitter.
  • Isolation feeds on fear, and fear feeds on isolation.
  • Shock and numbness comes first. Then comes the storm of feelings and emotions
    we must work through. Then we must unlearn old habits tied to the person no longer
    with us, and learn new ones based on our new reality of life.
  • If we do not believe God is in control and works all for our good (Romans 8:28), we
    might have a real problem.
  • It’s ok to be happy. Many in grief feel like they cannot enjoy themselves, or it’s a lack
    of respect to the lost loved one.
  • Grief deceives making us think we’ll only be happy getting back how things were
    before.
  • Avoid the temptation of giving up when it’s not easy. Move ahead with necessary
    actions.
  • Take advantage of the grace God has given through talking to others. There are good
    people in your church and community that are there for you.
  • A big thing that has helped so many to refocus and get back to a joyful life is service
    to others. When one starts helping others, it pulls them from the downward spiral of
    looking downward and inward.
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Planting a Church Without Losing Your Soul: Book Review by Jeff Bush

By Tim Morey 

  • Spiritual competencies are as important, if not more, as other competencies.
  • You as the pastor are not meant to hold all of the church problems. If you try to do what only God can do, you will live anxious and exhausted. Be the Pastor and let God be God.
  • When Elijah was discouraged, God spoke to him about the physical: food, water, and sleep. The physical is connected to the spiritual.
  • Overeating and unhealthy eating is common for those in ministry, but it is not good.
  • Don’t wait until you break. Let God and others help you with your emotional needs.
  • Many church planters started a church, hoping for the story of someone else, but God might want to write your story differently.
  • God doesn’t always meet us in the way we want or expect, but He does always meet us how we need.
  • The number one problem of pastors is isolation.
  • The main thing you will give your congregation is the person you become – Dallas Willard 
  • Church planters become professionals at “winging it.” The problem is you cannot “wing” your spiritual life.
  • The church’s strengths and weaknesses mirror the pastors strengths and weaknesses.
  • Suffering contains the seeds for success.
  • Church planters often have a mixture of confidence and self-doubt. Humility is needed.
  • Suffering keeps me humble and aware of the things I do not know.
  • We fear suffering, but we should probably fear more the absence of suffering.
  • It seems in 2 Corinthians 12 that Paul’s greatest asset was his greatest weakness – and that very likely could be the case with each of us.
  • Are you able to embrace the difficulties as a gift from God? 
  • Without suffering, how could we develop empathy – helping people in an understanding way.
  • Power without love is reckless and abusive. Love without power is sentimental and anemic.
  • According to a survey at Duke University, 43% of US churches run less than 50 people. Another 24% are between 50-100 people. 21% are between 100–200 people. 10% are between 250-1000 people. And 2% are 1000 or more.
  • A study from Harvard Institute for religion says the median size of a church in the US is 80 people. Only half of 1% of churches in the US are mega churches (2,000 plus people). 
  • We should focus more on making big Christians instead of trying to make big churches.
  • We must move from being superheroes to equippers.
  • If you as the pastor are doing the bulk of ministry, you are doing it wrong. Ephesians 4 teaches that the pastor is to equip others, not just do all the work.
  • Teaching others to do what you do means you don’t get to be the hero. 
  • Before we deal with difficult people, we must face the issues with the man in the mirror.
  • If you lose your family, you lose your ministry as well.
  • Do you want your kids to grow up loving church or hating church? Do you want your spouse to be thankful they married someone in the ministry, or regret it?
  • To succeed in church and fail in your family is to fail.
  • As a church planter, you will likely not have as much money as the people in your church, but you do have more power over your schedule than others do. You can use this to your strength to make sure you have time for your family.
  • Most church planters feel like they can’t get away, but a healthy church needs their pastor to be absent so they can learn to take care of areas. Your family and your church need you to get away.
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Out of The Cave Book Review by Jeff Bush

By Chris Hodges 

  • 1 out of 9 people in the US are on some form of anxiety medication. 1 out of 5 people have used it in the past. 
  • Depression has surpassed other diseases in our world such as cancer, etc.
  • Many things we tell someone that is depressed it’s not helpful – quit thinking about it, try harder, at least your problems are not as big as others, read your Bible more, etc. We should learn to listen and sympathize.
  • We need to stop talking about chemical imbalances and start talking about imbalances in our lifestyle. What we eat, how little we sleep, always on the run, not going outside, etc.
  • If we are burning the candle at both ends, we might not be as bright as we think we are. – Rick Warren
  • Motions are the precursors for emotions. When you feel …, you will… 
  • When someone throws up, the problem is a result of something happening in their body. And in the same manner, depression is not the problem, but a result of something that is happening within them.
  • An overwhelmed schedule produces an overwhelmed soul. Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. 
  • The comparison culture eats us alive. Proverbs 14:30
  • Experts agree that we’ve never been so connected yet so lonely at the same time.
  • The same social media that connects us also controls us, condemns us, manipulates us, and deceives us. 
  • Your social media very likely needs to be regulated and reduced. It is the number one reason for comparison and envy in the lives of most people.
  • If you want to come out of your cave, you have to stop comparing because God made you incomparable.
  • We cannot change our lives until we change the way we think.
  • The first problem was not sin but isolation. It was not good for Adam to be alone. We were not designed to be self-sufficient. 
  • In Exodus 17, Aaron and Hur held up the arms of Moses. Moses was used of God to open the Red Sea, but he needed help to keep his hands up. Who is helping you keep your hands lifted high?
  • Joy is an attitude that trusts God despite the circumstances. 
  • Instead of asking why to God, we should learn to ask what He wants to teach us through this situation.
  • Fight with light. The devil is dead set against you, but the good news is that the devil and demons are subject unto our God.
  • Prayer is both communion with God and confrontation against the devil.
  • If we want to win over depression, we must let God fill us. 
  • Perhaps our physical needs (rest and nutritious food) is more important then we think. God confronted Elijah‘s physical needs before his spiritual needs.
  • The opposite of depression is not happiness rather meaning and purpose in life.
  • Whether you like it or not, your ministry is strengthen by times you have been through. Your hard times can be either a prison of misery or schooling to help you learn.