Grieving

By James R. White (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

  • God’s promise is that He’ll be with His children as they mourn, not that He will keep
    them from such things.
  • Christians are not spared from grief, but they are spared from grief without hope.
  • The culture avoids speaking of grief. It is expected for one to handle things on their
    own, but grief is not handled well alone.
  • The big question about grief is how much time someone needs to get over it. The
    truth is that one will never fully get over it.
  • The greatest pressures through the grief process is not from others (employers,
    friends and family), rather from one’s self.
  • Grieving is natural, it takes time, and it is individual.
  • How one deals with the grieving process will determine if one becomes angry, lonely,
    or bitter.
  • Isolation feeds on fear, and fear feeds on isolation.
  • Shock and numbness comes first. Then comes the storm of feelings and emotions
    we must work through. Then we must unlearn old habits tied to the person no longer
    with us, and learn new ones based on our new reality of life.
  • If we do not believe God is in control and works all for our good (Romans 8:28), we
    might have a real problem.
  • It’s ok to be happy. Many in grief feel like they cannot enjoy themselves, or it’s a lack
    of respect to the lost loved one.
  • Grief deceives making us think we’ll only be happy getting back how things were
    before.
  • Avoid the temptation of giving up when it’s not easy. Move ahead with necessary
    actions.
  • Take advantage of the grace God has given through talking to others. There are good
    people in your church and community that are there for you.
  • A big thing that has helped so many to refocus and get back to a joyful life is service
    to others. When one starts helping others, it pulls them from the downward spiral of
    looking downward and inward.

Pleasing People Book Review by Jeff Bush

By Lou Priolo 

  • The sin of pride is at the heart of people pleasing.
  • Codependency (best term used in society for people pleasers) probably best falls under the category of idolatry. It is loving the approval of men more than the approval of God.
  • There are two sides to idolatry; the first side is neglecting God, and the second side is replacing God with a cheap substitute.
  • Fearing God will keep us from sin, but fearing man will bring a snare (Proverbs 29:15; John 12:42–43).
  • People pleasing is not keeping the peace, rather abandoning the peace of God for peace with man. It is being a coward at heart.
  • People pleasers rarely confront or speak to others about the sin in their lives.
  • The people pleaser is unsatisfied with his own life, coveting what God has given to others.
  • Man pleasing causes one to have many masters.
  • People pleasing places one under bondage because they’re attempting to please man more than please God.
  • Trying to please man will cause you to lose rewards — Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18
  • The inordinate desire to please men will blind you from sin — Matthew 23:16-26
  • Pride tempts you to change things in your life according to man’s priorities instead of the Holy Spirit’s agenda.
  • Pride focuses on changing the outward more than the inward.
  • Excessive love of what other think causes you to believe opinion of self over God’s opinion — John 5:44
  • People pleasing can cause to listen more to flattery of man than conscience and Spirit. Look into the mirror of God’s Word more than approval of man.
  • It’s not wrong wanting to please others as long as it doesn’t cause you to say no to the approval of God
  • People pleasing cause one to be indecisive.
  • People pleasing causes one to be a hypocrite.
  • The people pleaser depends more on his abilities to get friends than he depends on God to give him friends.
  • If pleasing God does not satisfy you, no amount of men’s approval will satisfy you.
  • If you want to stop being a men pleaser, work at being a God pleaser. You must have a stronger desire to please God.
  • The God pleaser is more concerned with what God sees on the inside, rather than what man sees on the outside.
  • A God pleaser programs his life by God’s Word instead of the world’s culture.
  • Ephesians 5:8–10 commands us to know how to please God. 
  • It is not wrong please others, but it is wrong to love the pleasure of man to the point it places you in bondage.
  • Instead of asking what would please others, ask yourself what would please God.