Book Summaries

By Gary Chapman (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

• Relationships are built by seeking understanding, and they are torn down by
  interruptions and arguments.
• If you greet and treat others with respect, they will be more willing to listen to your
  point of view.
• Learn the art of respect. Respect is a major ingredient in building positive in-law
  relationships.
• Respect allows freedom of choice. The opposite of respect is manipulation.
• You cannot gain respect by showing disrespect.
• Ideas should be shared as suggestions, not demands. You can respect another
  person‘s ideas without having to follow their ideas.
• “You” statements usually start fights. Use “I” statements.
• Negotiation is the opposite of withdrawal and resentment.
• Grant the gift of freedom. The greatest gift that parents can give to their married
  children is freedom.
• Don’t make your married children dependent on you. Marriage is about
  independence, not dependence.
• You don’t build positive in-law relationships by making negative comments about
  someone else’s interests.
• The ultimate key that unlocks the door of becoming friends with your in-laws is an
  attitude of love.
• If you want to help your in-laws, find out what they believe is helpful instead of using
  your own judgment.
• Genuine love is seldomly rejected, but someone must take the initiative to love.
• If you’re going to love your in-laws, you need kindness and patience.
• Failures call for apologies and apologies call for forgiveness.

By Dr. Larry Crabb (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

Why, the author believes that soul care belongs to the church:

The author says many Christians run to counselors and professional help when
going through difficulties but suggests soul care belonging to the church for the
below reasons:

1. The Nature of the Problem.
   ◦ We are not damaged things needed to be fixed, we are disconnected
   persons that must depend upon the Gospel to reestablish
   connection.
   ◦ We are eternal souls in need of God’s fellowship.
2. The Power of Community.
   ◦ The power of the gospel is released when we live together in a
   connected community.
   ◦ We are not broken people needed to be fixed, we need the closeness
   to give and receive from one another.
3. God’s passion for Shepherding

By David A. Powlison (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

• God never promises a life free of trials and hardships.
• God works through affliction.
• We cannot assess God’s blessing on a person’s life by the amount of or lack of
  afflictions.
• Suffering produces genuine faith in our lives
• Profound good sometimes comes from severe suffering.
• God knows you, and that makes all the difference in the world as you do not have to
  face trials alone.
• God’s loving purpose is your transformation.
• God doesn’t tell us to not fear because everything will turn out, He tells us not to fear
  because He is with us.
• In suffering, you learn how to need mercy and how to give mercy.

By Neil Cole (summary by Jeffrey Bush)

• Churches might not be multiplying because we need a change before God can bless
  what we are doing.
• We need to replace old ways of thinking of the church with Scriptural, healthy,
  fruitful, and reproducing ways.
• “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” — Epictetus
• Far too long, Christians have said ideas are Biblical just because they tagged on a
  few verses (often time taken out of context).
• If we were to take a survey in our congregations of those saved by events or by
  influence of family and friends witnessing, we’d find out that most are saved through
  the witness of family and friends. We know this, yet focus more on events than we
  encourage and equip individuals to influence their family and friends.
• We focus on attractional church methods when 3 out of 5 young people today said
  they would be willing to study the Bible or listen to their friend/family share their
  beliefs.
• We need to shift from an organizational model to relational model.
• Church is not to be sedimentary (come and see us), but sent (going to find others).
• Buildings, budgets, and big shots take up the biggest part of our church budgets,
  yet our cities are not being affected with the Gospel.
• We shouldn’t start churches to make disciples rather make disciples to then start
  churches.
• We seek to make our church more appealing when we should be asking ourselves
  how is our witness in the jobs and places within our community.
• Church is not the agent of change, Jesus is.
• We much switch from an institutional way of church to an influential; share Jesus
  everywhere.
• Church is not a what but a Who.
• We do an injustice to the Lord by reducing church to a one-day-a-week activity.
• The Lord didn’t say, “Oh ye of little strategy” but “Oh ye of little faith.”
• If we can’t produce healthy disciples, we will not produce healthy leaders, and if we
  cannot produce healthy leaders, we will not produce a church planting movement.
• We are not commanded to multiply churches rather multiply disciples, and they will
  multiply churches.
• Paul started churches that did not depend on him. We must learn to help others
  depend on God and not on us.
• The DNA of a church is more important than the model of the church. The early
  church’s model looked different, but they were about the Word, fellowship, and
  purpose.
• Many studies have been done showing the number 150 is the maximum number
  people can get to know before they feel disconnected. The studies, both secular and
  religious, go to prove that more churches are better than large churches over 150.
• Attempting the mega church model is sacrificing the role of a shepherd for the role of
  a rancher.
• We seem to think that large gatherings are more impacting, but Jesus spent the
  majority of His time with the disciples.
• Smaller groups can impact much more than larger crowds. This seems contradictory
  to our thinking, but it has been proven over and over again throughout history.
• It is not just about converts, it is about igniting new messengers into the world.