You’re Not Listening Book Review by Jeff Bush

You’re Not Listening

By Late Murphy


– Listening is fundamental to any relationship.

– Listening how we understand and comprehend.

– To not listen is to ignore and not learn from the world around you.

– People become lonely because they are not listened to.

– Listening is more of a mindset than it is a checklist of do’s and don’t’s.

– Hearing is not the same as listening. Listening is proactive.

– Listening is the way you keep up with someone as the pages in life continually

– It’s amazing what you can learn about someone when you are totally focused on

– It is hard to withhold or jump in and insert something when someone else is
talking, but by doing so you will be able to pull back the curtain and see in the
person’s life.

– If you jump in, advise, or try to fix the situation, you’re telling the other person
they are not smart enough to figure out a solution.

– Practical question should be asked, but those are not the only kind that should
be asked.

– Good listeners are good questioners.

– You cannot have good relationships or narratives without listening to other

– Listening to a stranger is one of the most kind things you can do.

– We sometimes fear that if we listen too closely we will realize our thinking is
flawed, so we talk over each other and do not listen.

– Your view of someone changes when you take time to listen to them.

– You do not win people over or learn from them by arguing… but you do by

– Listening is a courtesy and sign of respect.

– You cannot tell someone you respect them, you must show them – and listening
is one of the best ways to do so.

Why Your Kids Misbehave Book Review by Jeff Bush

Why Your Kids Misbehave

By Dr. Kevin Leman


10 ways to change your kids:

1. Put the ball in their court. Don’t cover for them, make them face the
consequences. If you always stand up for them, cover for them, or clean up for
them, they will never learn. This prepares them for life when they leave your

2. Look for teachable moments. Every day there are opportunities to teach your
children a lesson.

3. Use reality discipline instead of punishment. Real life consequences are much
better than a lecture, and will prepare your children for life.

4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t say things that you have to
back down from (e.g.: you are grounded for life). If your kids know that you mean
what you say, there will be that will fix many behavioral issues. Be consistent.
Follow through with what you say.

5. Say something once and then walk away. Most kids know that they do not have to
obey the first time, they wait until their parent says their full name, gets louder, or
begins screaming. They know what they can get away with, and we have train
them to miss behave. Give your vocal cords a rest, you only need to say it once.

6. Remember that fighting is an act of cooperation. You can’t do the emotional
tango with only one. You are the adult, so don’t join in the argument. If you don’t
engage, there is no battle.

7. Decide what is worth the battle.

8. Don’t snow plow the roads for your children. If you lie and cover for your kids,
you are harming your child both now and in the future.

9. Don’t sail into your child’s wind. Don’t let your child control you and make you
angry. Kids should not set the atmosphere in the house, don’t be swept up in
their drama.

10. Don’t ask questions, instead ask for their opinion or make open ended

The Peacemaker Book Review by Jeff Bush

The Peacemaker

By Ken Sande


The book is based off of the four G’s of being a peacemaker  

  1. Glorify God 
  2. Get the log out of your own eye.  
  3. Gently restore.  
  4. Go and be reconciled 

God is a God of peace, He gives His children peace, and He commands us to pursue  peace (Romans 12:18).  

God told His people to use peace (shalom) as a form of greeting.  

The three forms of peace: peace with God, peace with others, and peace with  ourselves.  

The Lord commands us to fix things with a brother before prayer and worship.  Peacemaking is not optional for a child of God, it is mandatory.  

God may not tell us everything we want to know, but He has told us everything we  need to know.  

Trusting God does not mean we don’t have questions or fears, but it does mean we  know God is in control, knows best, and works all for our good.  

Before you approach others about their shortcomings, you are to be truthful about  your own problems – Matthew 7.  

You should determine if something is worth overlooking or pursuing. Many minor  issues should simply be overlooked.  


Since God does not deal harshly with us when we sin, we should remember that  when dealing with others.  

Check your attitude in light of the Scriptures and change what needs to be changed.  

If exercising your rights is against a Biblical principle, you probably should not  exercise your rights.  

Before you confront or react to a brother, you should decide if it is worth it.  

When we judge others for not meeting our expectations and desires, we are imitating  the devil – James 3:15; 4:1  

God uses three specific tools to help us in this area: His Word (the Bible), His Spirit  (the Holy Spirit), and His Church (our local church).  

If we do not find all our fulfillment in the Lord, we look for happiness and satisfaction  elsewhere, making impossible expectations for others.  

God’s love and forgiveness drives us to forgive and reconcile with others.  

Perhaps one of the greatest reasons we did not resolve conflict is because we have  forgotten the golden rule; do you want to others as we would want done onto us.  

When confessing or asking forgiveness, avoid using words such as “if, “maybe,” or  “but.”  

Although you cannot make someone like you, you can do everything within your  power to live peaceably with all men.  

When a problem occurs, you must decide if you are going to overlook it, postpone the  conversation for another time, see what you must work on in your own life, or or  decide to pray and confront that person lovingly.  

Ephesians 4:15 says we must learn to speak the truth in love.  

Whether you are confronting or being confronted, you must learn to listen and be  willing to accept any truth about changes you should make in your own life.  


Face-to-face conversations are almost always better than texts, phone, or email.  

Many problems are caused by misunderstandings. Be sure you communicate clearly  your thoughts.  

Carefully planning the words you are going to use when confronting another could be  the difference between problem solving and increased hostility.  

Be careful how you use the Bible. Don’t use the Bible to threaten or browbeat  someone. Make sure you are not pulling a verse out of context to prove your point.  

You should try to keep the circle of people involved as small as possible, only  including others for reasons to help and restoration.  

What would happen if God forgave you exactly the way you forgive others? Matthew  6:12  

The world needs more reconcilers.  

If you think on how much God has forgiven you, it will help as you try to forgive  others.  

First Samuel 25 is a great example of confronting someone by keeping the other  person’s interest in mind.  

Before speaking to someone about a solution, you should create a list of your  interests as well as the other party’s interest.  

If it seems impossible to deal with someone or reconcile with someone, you may have  to turn it over to the Lord, and leave it in God’s hands to work in His way.  

Romans 12:20-21 teaches us the ultimate weapon to deal with others.

The 5 Second Rule Book Review by Jeff Bush

The 5 Second Rule

By Mel Robbins


– Definition of The 5 Second Rule: The moment you have an instinct to act upon a
goal, you must 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and physically move before your brain kills it.

– It just takes 5 seconds to change your life, that’s science, and a fact.

– Just knowing what you need to do or what needs to be changed is not enough.

– Hesitation can be the kiss of death. You must move when you know you should do

– Yes there are times to hesitate on the big things, but the majority of things need to be
moved on immediately. Send a text, say I love you, ask that question, etc.

– The hardest part is starting.

– When you get out of your own ways and push yourself forward, incredible things can

– You are not a worrier, you just have the habit of worrying. You are not a
procrastinator, you just have a habit of procrastinating. When you separate the
behavior from your identity, you can proceed to break the habit.

– The longer you wait, the harder it is to do something, and the louder the excuse
voices in your head become.

– The longer you think about something, the lower your urge to act becomes.

– We are amazing at fooling ourselves to stay put.

– You can use this rule to change negative or distractible habits.

– You can use this rule to change how you think when you have a negative thought —
countdown, then begin thinking of something else.

– You don’t have to have all the answers, you just need to make the decision.

– Courage is just a push. It might not change the world, but it will change you.

– You don’t always regret the shots you do take, but you do always regret the shots
you do not take.

– The difference between the people who have their deep dreams come true and those
who do not is simple – they have the courage to start and the courage to continue.

– Five seconds of courage changes everything.

– It takes repetition to be successful.

– We make almost every one of our decisions with our feelings, and our feelings are
not usually correct.

– If you only act when you feel like it, you will never act upon anything.

– If you do not learn to untangle your feelings from your actions, you will never unlock
your potential.

– You cannot control how you feel, but you can always control how you act.

– The biggest mistake you can make is to buy into what feelings are telling you.

– Confidence is a skill you learn through action.

– You can feel like a scaredy-cat yet still take action.

– Do not let fear silence you.

– In five seconds your mind can hijack and cause you to be fearful and worry, but in
another five seconds you can take control and decide not to follow those fears and

– You cannot change the past, but in five seconds you can make a decision that could
change the future.

So You Want to be a Missionary? Essential Considerations Book Review by Jeff Bush

So You Want to be a Missionary? Essential Considerations

By Don Mingo


– Half of all new missionaries do not last beyond their first term on the field. — Page

– Missionary casualties often occur in a vacuum of poor self- and soul-care. Soul-care
is rarely discussed. Many missionaries spoken with over the years struggle with dry,
barren souls. — Page 18

– Expectations probably result in more missionary casualties than any other single
cause. Expectations is the graveyard of many missionaries’ callings and dreams. —
Page 30

– Expectation defines not so much what missionary life looks like, but rather what it
must look like. Think about it for just a moment, couldn’t an expectation be perhaps
considered as an idol? — Page 33

– Where do your expectations originate? Please, think about that question. Where do
notions of what your missionary experience should – must – look like—arise? —
Page 35

– What if – just what if – one learned that so much upon one’s own “this is what I
expected it to look like?” What if we learned instead to pursue God‘s expectations in
every facet of our missionary lives and endeavors? — Page 38

– Missionaries are very human folks, just doing what they were asked. Simply a bunch
of nobodies trying to exalt Somebody. Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty.

– Missionary, you will get hurt. Count on it. It’s a rough, hostile place out there. And
may I let you in on a little secret? The place to which you’re going is controlled by the
enemy. An enemy who hates the Father and will do anything —anything— to prevent
people from coming to him through his Son, Jesus. — Page 47

– Count the cost, or, like so many, you’ll leave the field before you even get started.
Think about it. Isn’t missionary service an incursion into the enemy’s — Satan‘s —
stronghold to rescue souls away from him? A veteran missionary shared, “Serving as
a missionary in a foreign country is like going to war. The battle is real.” You’re going
to the frontlines of battle. What happens at ground zero? Don’t combatants get
injured? Don’t some die? You’ll get hurt. Expect it. Prepare for it. Commit to it. —
Page 47

– Adoniram Judson, pioneer missionary to Burma, said, “If I had not felt certain that
every additional trial was ordered by infinite love and mercy, I could not have
survived my accumulated sufferings. — Page 49

– Suffering and missionary service go hand in hand. — Page 50

– For American missionaries, sometimes the health and wealth gospel derails us by
playing a diabolical part in our preconceived notions about serving God on the
mission field. The thought is, “If I serve God, he will protect me no matter what.” The
problem with such a viewpoint is that it is contrary to the Scriptures and disproven
by at least one hundred people in the Bible. Suffering is part of God‘s plan for his
people (2 Corinthians 1:4). — Page 50-51

– Accept it, expect it, and prepare yourself for it. This is your cross, missionary.
Suffering is real. If anything, we suffer more than friends and family back home
because of our exposures to multiple unsafe environments. Are you willing to carry
such a cross? — Page 52

– That’s it. I am finished. “We are going to resign, go back to the States, and work
secular jobs.” Really? After raising your funds, finishing your schooling and training,
and arriving on your field, you’re just going to quit? Because someone hurt your
feelings? Really? How many years of preparation have you undergone? And you’re
just going to hang it up after only how many months? And what about the next
challenge you encounter in life? What will you do then? — Page 55-56

– Loneliness – as a missionary – is a cross you’ll need to learn to carry. Sorry, there’s
no other way around it. The missionary life requires experiencing seasons of
loneliness. Yet your loneliness can present positive opportunities. — Page 69

– Loneliness is the number two problem cited by most younger missionaries
contacting us for help. — Page 70

– When you are lonely, try to reflect upon God. Don’t waste your loneliness in
aloneness. — Page 72

– Please hear this: If your marriage isn’t healthy, strong, and vibrant – then please don’t
become a missionary. Not yet. Strengthen your marriage first. Becoming a
missionary does not fix a marriage. You don’t belong out there if your marriage is not
strong. I didn’t write the rules of spiritual leadership. God did. (See Ephesians 5,
Titus 3, and 1 Timothy 3.) — Page 106-107

– One missions agency told me that 80% of their applicants voluntarily indicate a
struggle with pornography, resulting in staff shortages on the field. — Page 109

– Again, if you struggle with pornography, don’t go to the field until you’ve:
• Established sound boundaries.
• Implemented ironclad accountability.
• Learned to regularly biblically confess your sin.
• Gained knowledge of the dreadful consequences of porn.
• Acquired godly sorrow about your sin (2 Corinthians 7:10).

– The mission field isn’t a magic wand to rectify our problems. It often increases our
malfunctions. It does not end them. — Page 110

– No one owes a missionary anything except God who promises to meet your needs.
— Page 113

– If God caused a guy in the desert with a big stick to part the Red Sea, he can part
your soul-doubts, bringing you to your promised land. — Page 115

– The money you receive comes from people who do with less so that you, the
missionary, can accomplish more. — Page 120

– Learn to speak their language, and you will sing the music of their hearts. — Page

– Be a learner. Be humble enough to receive instruction and correction. Never stop
learning the language of the people you serve. — Page 133

– Missionary, if you say you care, then show it. Take the time to master the language of
the people. It’s a true way into their hearts. Only then will your message be heard. —
Page 134

– I’m convinced missionary work is most effective when missionaries minister in the
shadows of cultural existence, encouraging national people to lead their own people;
not the other way around. Too often the missionary is viewed as “the boss.” — Page

– The most common reason missionaries go home isn’t due to lack of money, illness,
terrorism, homesickness, or even a lack of fruit or response to the gospel.

Regretfully, the number one reason is conflict with other missionaries. Yes, you read
that correctly. — Page 156

– Don’t waste your pain dwelling in a cave indefinitely berating, begrudging, and
bellowing your bad fortune. It’s a lousy place to live. Pain can serve as a greater
purpose than that. It can propel you toward God and greater service. Don’t waste
your pain. — Page 226

– Older missionary, your greatest asset is the Elishas you leave behind. As your name
and work fade in the rearview mirror of life —and they will—, those staying after your
departure will determine your ministry’s real success. It’s not in the buildings or
structure you leave behind, but rather in the Elishas you’ve left to carry on the work.
— Page 229-230

– Elijah, what about you? When your chariot takes you out of this world, what will you
leave behind? Struggling remnants of your ministry’s remains? Or an Elisha or two
who takes the work beyond the capabilities of your influence? — Page 233

Relentless Book Review by Jeff Bush


By Tim S. Grover


– Having a desire to get somewhere or to do something is not enough.
– You already have within you everything you need to get the job done.
– Most people give up because they’ve been told what they can’t do.
– Decide. Commit. Act. Succeed. Repeat.
– You become unstoppable by placing no limits on yourself.
– Everything is impossible until someone does it.
– You can do so much more with what you already have.
– You train like a pro by working as intense as possible at this very moment.
– Teach your mind to train your body. Get mentally strong so that you can be prepared.
– Anyone can measure height, strength, and speed, but they can’t measure what’s in
your chest, your heart.
– Every day you have to do something you don’t want to do. Challenge yourself. Push
past the apathy and fear.
– Crave the results so much that the work and discomfort does not bother you.
– If you want success of any kind, you have to be comfortable with being
– You control your body, it does not control you.
– Your ability to control yourself in any environment is what determines if you succeed
or fail.

– If you want to get somewhere new, you have to throw out the old map and try a new
– Overthinking, overacting, and overanalyzing will get you to lose again. Quit reacting
and begin acting.
– Real learning is not just clinging to lessons but learning all you can and absorbing it
with your instincts.
– Stop waiting to learn something you already know.
– If doing the right thing was easy, everybody would be doing it.
– Lots of people start things but very few finish.
– You will never get anywhere if you trust the excuses everyone gives you.
– Ordinary will not take you to the top.
– You get to the top by taking risks no one else is willing to take.
– Staying safe limits you, and limitations will not let you go further.
– How can you know what your best is if you are not willing to challenge your abilities.
– You need pressure in your life. Stress is nothing more than pressure that you have
not dealt with. Pressure brings out the real you.
– Don’t be intimidated by pressure, thrive in it.
– Most stay in the comfort zone because there’s low expectations, low risks, and low
– Stress can keep you sharp and force you to handle situations.
– Your level of success is determined by how you handle your stress.
– You can’t be unstoppable if you won’t deal with un-comfort or if you won’t deal with
stress unless you’re forced to.

– Most people are waiting for a plan. Good leaders make a plan, work the plan, and
make it happen.
– Confidence is the ability to find what is not working and change to make it work.
Cockiness is not caring if it works and just repeating the same thing over and over.
– You must find the abilities that you have and compensate for the abilities you do not
– Successful people compensate for the abilities they do not have. Unsuccessful
people make excuses for the abilities they do not have.
– Some people wonder why things happen. Other people find out how things happen.
And some make things happen.
– While you are waiting around deciding what to choose, someone else will make the
– Make a choice or the choice will be made for you.
– You can wait around all of your life overanalyzing and overthinking instead of making
a decision. Just make a decision.
– Thinking doesn’t achieve outcome, only action does.
– We say that good things come to them that wait, but actually good things come to
them that work.
– Being great at one thing does not mean you are good at other things.
– Almost no one enjoys the work, but if you crave the end results then you must do the
work. If you want the end result and are not willing to work, it is just a dream.
– What it took you to get to the top will not necessarily keep you at the top.
– There are no shortcuts and there is no luck.
– There are facts, circumstances, and reality, and how you respond to those determine
if you succeed or fail.

– Don’t worry about the instant gratification, think about the long-term payoff.
– Stop and think about what you want to achieve. Now ask yourself how much you are
willing to sacrifice to obtain it. If your sacrifice does not match up, you will never
make it.

Never Give Up Book Review by Jeff Bush

Never Give Up

By Donald J. Trump


– Feeling discouraged should never be permanent.

– Refusing to give up can be your best fortitude.

– A lot of success is determined by how you handle pressure.

– Believing that a negative situation is only temporary will help you to hold on and

– Listen to everyone, but realize ultimately the decision is yours.

– Adversity is a part of life and you will probably not live a day without it. Accept it as a
challenge instead of defeat.

– It pays to never give up.

– If you never give up, you can eventually give back.

– Expect problems and you will be ready when they show up.

– Discipline is the most important characteristic a leader can have. If you do not have
discipline, you will not be a leader very long.

– Be cautious but not fearful. Don’t let fear interfere with your plans.

– Never give up. You can accomplish more with that attitude than just about anything.

– Dwelling on a problem uses your energy and brain power. Take the time to think of a

– Sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

– Being knocked down is one thing, but staying down is another.

– Courage is not the absence of fear, it is conquering fear.

– Ordinary people have accomplished major things by being persistent and not giving

– If you see big problems, see even bigger opportunities.

– Learn pragmatic thinking — if one thing does not work out then another will.

– You might have to try a lot of things to get one thing to work, that’s tenacity.

– The more you know means there’s more that you don’t know. Do not become
complacent. Keep learning.

– Success will not happen without taking a few risk.

– Replace negatives with positives and you will have more successes waiting for you,
even if right now they are nowhere insight.

– The higher you aim, the more opposition you will attract.

– Some things are worth waiting for. Be prepared to wait.

– If you are going to get something done, you must start. Stop standing on the
sidelines and start.

– Stress is directly related to a loss of focus.

– Expect problems, they are there to help you get things done.

– You cannot be positive if you are not willing to be creative.

– Love what you are doing. Winning is just the cream on top.

– Look at the solution, not the problem.

– Where others fail, there is your opportunity.

– Sometimes you have to be stubborn as well as patient.

– Think big and think creatively.

– Never give up. Remaining complacent is a good way to get nowhere.

– Be focused. Learn to shut out the noise and stay focused.

– See yourself as victorious; that will focus you in the right direction.

– Believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will either.

– Great adversity can turn into great victory.

– Look at the solution, not the problem.

– Trust your instincts. There are a lot of things that are not black and white, so go with
your gut when you know to do something.

– Know when to say no. Pay attention to the alarms that go off within you when you
should say no to something.

Negative Self-Talk and How To Change It Book Review by Jeff Bush

Negative Self-Talk and How To Change It

By Shad Helmstetter


– Negative self-talk is dwelling on your fears instead of your strengths, anything you
look at in a way that will not work instead of what can work.

– Each time you listen or give in to negative talk, you are rewiring your brain to believe

– Negative self-talk is setting yourself up for failure.

– Negative self-talk is harmful. You are wiring your brain to think something is true,
then your brain will believe and perform that way.

– Negative self-thinking is a habit that will turn into a reality.

– We are not born to think negatively, we learn to think that way.

– Your brain believes what you tell it, that’s why someone can be convinced a certain
political or social stance is truth. When you listen to negative self-talk, your brain will
eventually accept that as truth.

– The most important thing to wiring or rewiring your brain is repetition.

– The message that is received only once in your brain might be remembered, but the
message that is repeated over and over will wire your brain both consciously and

– The majority of your decisions and actions come from your subconscious mind. It
said that 90% of what you do is hidden from you, coming from your subconscious

– If you do nothing about the negative, it will get worse. But you can replace the
negative with positive and override it.

– If you’re going to change your negative self-talk, you must:
1. Begin by monitoring your talk.
2. Edit. Whenever you hear yourself say or think something negative, go back
and restate what you said or thought, and replace it with the right talk.
3. Listen to self-talk. The best way to learn any language is listening to get
accustomed to it and learn… so it is with positivity.

– When you listen to self-talk in one area of your life, do not be surprised to see
changes in other areas of your life.

– When you change your self-talk, you rewire your brain and then your brain motivates
you to live out what you believe.

– Romans 12:2 teaches through the Bible you can change your self-talk by renewing
your mind.

– You cannot change someone else’s negative self-talk unless they decide to do it.

– Don’t worry so much about how you arrived to the negative thoughts you have,
focus more on implementing positive talk and you’ll change both your present and

– People that change their negative talk to positive have healthier relationships,
eliminate the stress from their lives, enjoy what they do, and live happier lives.

– When you change your self-talk, you change your life. You can make that decision
right now.