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How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

By Larry King

• You have to love what you are doing. You can’t fake that, people will see right through it.
• The right attitude is a basic ingredient to becoming a better conversationalist.
• To be a good conversationalist, you have to have a sincere interest in the other person and an openness to others about yourself.
• Respect everyone in the audience, look them in the eye and think about their interests.
• Everyone is ignorant in some area, so you can help them if that arena.
• People can always tell if you respect them. Others will listen to you better if they know you are interested in them.
• The golden rule, doing to others as you want them to do to you, is essential in speaking to others.
• Remind yourself that the people in the room are probably just as shy as you are.
• You should know that nothing you say will teach you anything, so ask questions and listen. Most people don’t listen. 
• To be a good talker, you have to be a good listener.
• Good follow-up questions are the mark of a good conversationalist.
• Don’t just listen to the answers of the questions, listen to what the person is really saying.
• Making eye contact with the person before, during, and after they talk, goes along way and make you a good conversationalist.
• Staying informed to what is going on in the world will help you as you work at being a good conversationalist.
• Find a common ground with the person you’re speaking to and hone in on that.
• Don’t try to be the life of the conversation when people are trying to get down to business.
• Some people, when asked what time it is, go on to explain how a watch works – don’t be that person.
• All of us are salesman trying to sell something. Know what you are selling and don’t quit until you close the deal.
• Show people what you can do for them. Show them what is unique. 
• Be prepared.
• Don’t wing it. If you do, you will run the risk of going too long, use words like “uh,” or lose the interest and respect of others listening.
• Don’t be afraid to use humor. 
• Know your subject and speak from experience, it will be much easier to continue talking and keep attention if you speak on what you know well.
• If you are using notes to teach from, underline or highlight so you know where the emphasis should be placed.
• Stand up straight, do not slouch over or lean on the lectern.
• Abraham Lincoln‘s Gettysburg Address lasted less than five minutes. Another speaker that day spoke for two hours. Only one of the speeches are remembered today— you don’t have to go long. 
• Brevity is important. 
• A good rule of thumb is KISS — Keep It Simple Stupid. 
• Stay positive. Negativity will not get you anywhere. 
• Dress and look sharp. 
• Keep it simple. 

 

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone

By: Leil Lowndes

• You never have a second chance to make a first impression. 

• A firm handshake is important when you meet someone. 

• When introducing someone, say their name before their position.

• You can turn strangers into acquaintances by talking about what they love to talk about – themselves. By talking about them, you can turn that silent stranger into a friendly gabber.

• Ask someone about their day, specifically the last five or six hours. Each conversation has a shelf-life, so talk to them about what is fresh on their mind.

• Customize your conversation or speech to the person(s) you are talking to. if you want to connect with them, tailor your vocabulary for them. 

• Never talk or brag about luxurious things you have with people that cannot or do not have them.

• Keep your differences a secret and your similarities the topic of conversation.

• Immediately conceal someone’s blunders with a quick comment. You will become a friend and hero.

• When you want to change subjects, first repeat something they just said and then link it to the conversation or topic you want to talk about.

• Be unfashionably early to a party or gathering. It is surprisingly much better than arriving late.

• Preserve someone’s self-esteem.

• Do talk about people behind their back, but only if it’s something nice you’re going to say.

• Choose your seating wisely. Let the other person have the better seat and do not sit in a position that makes it hard for them to turn their neck and look at you.

• Read someone’s lips when they are not talking. People are their real selves when no one else is around, so watch them before you start talking to them and you will know what they are feeling.

• When you are writing an email, do not start all of your sentences with the letter “I.” Remove it (letter “I”) from your email — remove it from your conversations as well. 

• Sign your email using the other person’s name. The best word in any language is someone’s name, so use their name at the end of your email or letter.

• When you are meeting with someone and receive a phone call, look at your phone and silence it. This shows that the person you are talking to is more important than anything else at that time.

• Remember an important date or event in someone’s life, and send a letter congratulating them at that time.
• A second thank you is always remembered and greatly appreciate it. Someone expects you to say thank you when they give you something, but say it a second time at another date and you will make their day.

• Elongate your praise for someone. Most people focus on criticism and do not stop with one sentence, yet the praise is very short – switch this around and you will make someone feel very good.

How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

By: Nicholas Boothman

• The average person’s span before judgement is only about 30 seconds. 

• Three key elements to make people like you: your presence (how you look), your attitude and how you make people feel. 

• When people like you, they see the best in you.

• When people like you, they feel natural and comfortable around you. 

• Although a handshake only lasts a couple of seconds, you’ll send a strong and friendly message to the other person, if you will do it while looking in someone’s eyes and having a smile. 

• Find a common interest — people talk to people that they like, so if you like or are interested in what they like and are interested in, they will like you.

• There must be a time when you stop talking and just listen.

• Conversation is a way to open another person up and see what is inside.

• Learn to ask open-ended questions, instead of questions that only require a yes or no. 

• What people see is about three times more impactful than what they hear.

• When someone says, “I like you,” they’re really saying, “I am like you.”

• We must learn to connect with other people because life is better when other people are in your life.

Grit

By: Angela Duckworth

• People that don’t give up have a don’t-quit, hang-in-there attitude.
• Those who follow through and finish something are those that have determination and direction.
• Whether a cadet continued or dropped out of West Point was not because of their SAT scores or talent, but because of their grit.
• Future green berets and seals also stick because of their grit.
• Our potential is one thing, but what we do with it is a whole other thing.
• Talent is not destiny.
• Zeal and hard work ultimately beat intellect.
• We love naturals, but effort will go further than talent.
• As much as talent counts for something, effort counts twice as much.
• Greatness is made of many small feats, and all of them are doable!
• Effort builds skill.
• Talent x effort = skill. Skill x effort = achievement.
• 80% of life is showing up — Allen
• How many people start something new and then give up. Grit keeps you going.
• Talent comes naturally, but skill comes from doing something over and over until you get it.
• Grit is more about stamina than intensity.
• There are no shortcuts to excellency.
• Grit isn’t just falling in love but staying in love.
• Grit has two components: passion and perseverance.
• On any long journey, detours are to be expected.
• Grit, talent, and other psychological traits are genetically influenced, but not determined.
• Grit gets back up and continues going when knocked down.
• Passion for your work comes from a lot of discovery, followed by a bunch of development and a lifetime of deepening.
• Just because you love something does not mean you’ll be great at it, it takes a lot of work.
• Deliberate practice separates those that do have and do not have grit.
• Do not let setback become excuses.
• You can grow and obtain grit by starting from within yourself. 
• To be gritty is to fall down seven times and raise eight. 

God-Confident Kids

By: Cyndie Claypool de Neve

• How are you doing at sharing your love for the Lord with your children. Start sharing
• Memorize verses with your kids, it will help them all throughout their lives.
• Help your kids understand their emotions, don’t ignore them. God can be your (their) strength in weakness.
• Demonstrate love and confession with your children. God forgives, and you should as well.
• Ask your kids questions. Learn to listen without judging and responding so quickly. If you blow them off too many times, they will stop talking to you.
• Having the last words does not give you more power or control. When your children get angry, let them know you will talk to them when they calm down, and then wait.
• Parent out of faith instead of fear. Know that God loves your children more than you do. Instead of fearing they will fail or not make it, how about believing and trusting God with it. That doesn’t mean you don’t place rules and guidelines, but does mean must be less controlling and demanding if trust God in your parenting.
• Put down your phone. Set rules for screen time and follow them — you too as a parent.
• Sometimes, the traits that drive us crazy about our children are the same weaknesses we have in our own lives.
• Learn to parent each of your children as individuals. God made each person uniquely different.
• Our job is to raise our children to be all God wants them to be, not mini versions of what we want.
• How you learn is not necessarily how your children learn.
• Teach your children to pray, and pray with them and for them. God hears our prayers and wants His children to talk to Him. They need to know they can talk to God at any time and when no one else is around. God is always there.
• Everyone has strengths; your job is to help your children find their strengths.
• Praise more for their character and Christlikeness than their activities and performance.
• Ask God for direction and learning in your own life.
• Teach them to create time with the Lord. Life is easier when God is directing, so they need to hear from God.
• Prayer eradicate fear. We live in a world in which there are school shootings, bullying and all kinds of problems. If we don’t learn to pray and teach our children to pray, we will stay fearful.
• Teach your children to be thankful. It’s hard to be fearful when you are thankful.
• If there are past family behaviors that you do not want repeated, realize that you are not destined to continue those patterns, they can be broken.
• You need a good community to raise your children — your church’s youth group, friends, and family.
• If there are people in your neighborhood or family that you do not trust, make sure your children are never alone with them.
• Establish dating rules for your children.
• Help your children make a list of what they are looking for and want in a future spouse.
• Pray for your children’s future spouse and teach them to pray for them as well.
• Maintain strict screening time and be very choosy with the games they play and things they watch.
• Teach them that if they stand firm in the Lord, they can get through any problems.
• We must be there for support, but their journey must be between them and God.
• Kids need to know you love them before you correct, give advice, or talk to them.

Eat That Frog

By: Brian Tracy

21 ways to stop procrastinating and get more things done faster: 

1. Set the table — clarify what your objectives are.
2. Plan every day in advance — think on paper. 
3. Apply the 80/20 rule — remember that 20% of your activities will count for 80% of your results, so concentrate on that top 20%. 
4. Consider the consequences — your most important tasks will have the greatest consequences on your life or work (positive or negative), concentrate on these above all. 
5. Practice the ABCD method — before you begin working, organize them by value and priority so that you can start with the most important. 
6. Focus on key result areas — find what will result in getting your work accomplished and work on those all day long. 
7. Practice the law of forced efficiency — there’s never enough time to do everything but always enough time to do the most important things, so what are they? 
8. Prepare thoroughly before you begin — proper prior preparation prevents poor performance. 
9. Upgrade your skills — the more knowledgeable and better you become at your skills, the quicker you can get them accomplished. 
10. Leverage your special talents — determine what you are or could be good at and throw your whole heart into doing those very well.
11. Identify your key constraints — find what slows you down or stops you and determine to alleviate them. 
12. Take it one oil barrel at a time — you can accomplish anything if you will take it one step at a time. 
13. Put the pressure on yourself — imagine you had to leave town for a week and you had to finish certain things before you left. 
14. Maximize your personal powers — identify your most productive mental and physical times in the day and structure your most important tasks at those times. 
15. Motivate yourself into action — be your own cheerleader; always be optimistic; find the good in every situation. 
16. Practice creative procrastination — since you can’t do everything, focus on what you can do and put the other things to the side. 
17. Do the most difficult thing first — identify the hardest task and determine to stay at it until it is finished. 
18. Slice and dice the task — break the large tasks into bite-sized pieces and do them one at a time until you finish. 
19. Create large chunks of time — organize your day into chunks until you can finish with the task that needs to be accomplished. 
20. Develop a sense of urgency — make a habit of getting things done and not stopping until you are finished. 
21. Single-handle every task — set clear priorities and start on your tasks, working on them until they are finished. 

DiscpleShift

By: Jim Putman & Bobby Harrington with Robert E. Coleman

• Intentional discipleship is a must in our churches. Most church growth strategies (books, conferences, etc.) have no discipleship involved.
• You must determine what a disciple should look like so you have a goal to aim at.
• Spiritual parents are not perfect, they are simply people striving to grow in their spiritual life.
• A spiritual parent usually knows where a person is on their journey in life, where they should be, and how to get them there.
• One just needs to be one step ahead of someone else in order to disciple them.
• What does spiritual maturity look like? It is what we imagine the Lord would do if he was here upon the earth.
• Our goal is to present others mature before Christ (Colossians 1:28).
• Everyone is saved for a purpose.
• A disciple should grow in four areas of life according to Ephesians:

1. 1. 1. His relationship with God.
      2. His relationship with God‘s family, the church.
      3. His relationships at home.
      4. His relationship with the world.

• As a disciple maker you should express your goal of making that person more mature and like Jesus.
• As a disciple maker you must look at the man in the mirror (you).
• We must be careful that we are not merely informing people, rather equipping them.
• The pastor sets the tone for spiritual maturity, and the same goes in disciple making.
• We are not to just shepherd others but create an environment where others are shepherding others.
• How you act as a leader is determined by who you are, your character.
• The pastor must be immersed in the Word of God, yielded to the Holy Spirit, and in relationship with others. The last is often forgotten because we don’t want to be transparent and accountable to others.
• As a leader you must model or live out what you teach and preach. As the head goes, so does the body. 1 Corinthians 11:1
• Ephesians 4:11-13 should be a key verse for a disciple maker. Your responsibility is not to simply to be a star on the team but to build up others who will lead and do the work.
• Do you want to be the star athlete or coach? You must teach and release others to be the boots on the ground for the work.
• We are trying to make disciples, not just converts.
• A pastor must be a leader developer. Many of the leaders are already in the church, they are just overlooked or undeveloped.
• Most pastors are too busy in the church doing the work themselves, so they do not have time to develop other leaders.
• The difference between a high school coach and a college coach is that a high school coach must develop players he has within his team; a college coach travels to find and recruit/develop players to play on his team. Most pastors play the role of a college coach by recruiting from the outside instead of developing those from the inside.
• What you celebrate is what your people will aspire to. Many churches celebrate attendance, buildings, offerings, etc., but if you will celebrate how many people are getting connected into discipleship, you will see the fruit from that.
• A pastor must not only cast the vision for the church, but constantly guard or defend that vision.
• As a pastor, you cannot disciple everyone yourself so you must teach others to disciple.
• Even though Jesus spoke to crowds of thousands, that was not the focus of his discipling. His focus was with his disciples, and that is clear all throughout the gospels.
• We must move discipleship from being an institutional program to a personalized habit.
• We should teach and expect for disciples to continue the process and disciple others. Jesus taught his disciples to disciple others. A mature disciple is one that disciples others.
• Every disciple has the capability and responsibility to minister to others.
• Ask yourself how every ministry in your church connects people to discipleship.
• You must understand the scorecard in discipleship. The point comes when they are deployed to go out and disciple others – not start a new church, but finish discipleship themselves and begin discipling another.
• It is more important to evaluate how many people go out instead of how many people show up.
• A pastor should not just be a teacher but a coach.
• We must transfer our scorecards from attracting and gathering to discipling and releasing.
• You should constantly access, correct course, and encourage.
• The shift must be from gathering a crowd to deploying disciple makers who will disciple others.